Weekend Update: Who The Fuck Are We Now?

BACK HOME AFTER THE GETAWAY WEEKEND

It's a murky time right now

WHO THE FUCK ARE WE NOW?
Being naked together this weekend, with my best Bro, without shame of fear of nakedness, completed a lifelong dream. Well, for me at least! Obviously, there’s was nothing about us that we found objectionable. Perhaps, sharing so many body similarities worked in our favor?

No obvious flaws were addressed, no nasty comments about our soft dad-bods, about our grower-dick sizes, about our sometimes low-hanging balls; nothing was bad, everything was good, perfect whether it was or not, none of it, was that important to us. Loving being within each other’s company, condition-less, that’s the thing that mattered. Damn, and now it’s over until who knows when again!

Just in case you missed my obsession with Larry's furry everything including ass!

CROTCH WATCHING FOR BULGES
There’s one potential but tiny, nuclear catastrophe that will confront me from now on, at least until it’s properly solved. Every time I see him, I will want to relive the odyssey. How can I live without touching him inappropriately again? When will I get to touch that incredible blonde hairy ass of his? I’m getting all giddy and queasy again inside, just thinking about that! He gifted me with his sweet-tasting cum often this weekend; how long will it take before I can forget that? And, that beautiful cock of his, performed as a man 30 years his junior! What will I feel inside my gut, knowing touching, stroking, sucking it, might not happen again? I’ll always be looking down at his crotch to see if there’s a growing bulge for me. Oh yeah, those amazing showers we took together, in that oversized cabin shower stall; our first time learning what we might want from each other, naked and under a warm rain shower. I’ve got to stop thinking about this, it’s upsetting my fucking stomach again!

Moreover, how much of all I just said here, is affecting Larry’s mind right now? He’s normally, not one to delve into his feelings, a typical male function. However, he beautifully negated all those personal fears I had, while at the lake. Could it be a result of our extreme horny mindset that followed us to the cabin? We were fucking wild men, that couldn’t get enough of each other. What a fucking lifelong dream to come true for me! Was it his longtime dream too? Probably not, he’s proven often that he is not me, in so many ways. Anyway, I haven’t a fucking clue, if it was a fantasy of his or not, I can only hope so though.

WHAT MAKES MARCUS TICK?
I haven’t devoted much background about me, Marcus in my journal, so I’ll do my best to fix that for you now.

There were six barren years between my two marriages, when I was single to mingle any way I wished. This was the period when I tried to act out on my bi-sexual urges. Being openly gay was the option I chose against. I’ve been physically attracted to some types of men, not all, since I was a teenager. However, I chased after women as well. I was attracted to their smell, soft curves, ample butts, but not giant breasts, which was a negative for me. Sorry about that, if it offends you.

Due to my late middle-aged status, and the forgettable decades from my youth, there was eminent danger from showing any gay traits, it likely meant physical violence and mayhem was on its way to me. And then, the shunning from friends, relatives, associates, and the disdain of some of the women friends that I was attracted to, all determined the straight path I’d take. That’s my only fucking excuse for always being in the closet. This past weekend scrambled everything in my head, however, I don’t fucking know if it did change anything!

It is painful for me to write this for you to read, however, I did say that I’d let you know what makes me tick, right? So here goes. I’ve never had a satisfying encounter with another male, and I’ve tried a few, during the barren years. The guys I hooked up with, were only concerned about getting their own rocks off, and then, slam-bam, thank you man! What about me, when do you suck my cock? When do I det to cum? Some version of that happened on each encounter. However, I do remember the time I did fuck a guy, I didn’t cum because he abused his ass hole by fisting so much, I couldn’t get any feeling inside him. He only wanted me to fist him, but I refused since the idea didn’t sit well with me back then. That just can’t be a good thing to do to your ass hole, I thought!

When we arrived at his place, he offered me some of the strongest weed I’ve ever smoked, it was a great high, which resulted in my inhibitions being trashed! I threw caution to the wind and barebacked him, I didn’t have a single condom on me! Stupid shit-head! But to be fair, I wasn’t looking for a hook-up, he came on to me at the bar since I was alone and looking sorry for myself. (I really was questioning why I was in a gay bar in the first place, knowing how it could turn out again.)

The 'Tequila Shooters' I was into at the bar started the road downhill; his strong weed disabled the brakes! Sadly, once again a cum-less encounter! He jerked off his extremely-long cock while I watched, he didn’t want me to jack him at all, just watch. He had a technique that I never tried, but he had a lot more cock to cover too, that would never work on mine! After he shot his load, and I do mean shot, he said he had an early morning ahead of him and that I should leave now. He never touched me, or my cock, the fucken bastard!

So, that was the last time I ever connected or tried to connect with another guy, that is, until this weekend. Now my brain is all scrambled eggs; part of me just wants to sob, tears of joy, and tears of despair, I don’t fucking know anything about me anymore!

The Bros Gone Rogue Journal begins in Chapter 8 and is a continuation of our affair:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2019/03/ch-8-avoidance-is-pissing-me-off.html