CH. 76: The Start of Something Big

Hi Guys! I know it’s been a while since my last posting, hopefully I’ll make it up to you with this one. I’ve had a lot on my plate within the past several weeks, and my buddy Larry has had his share to deal with himself, you’ll find out soon enough.

My first topic up: We both received our first and second Pfizer Covid shots already. No side effects whatsoever for either of us, pays to be a little on the beefy side, I guess. I was lucky enough to get us both scheduled on the same day for our shots. We have Kaiser Permanente medical coverage, so we headed to their Cal Expo site in Sacramento; it’s the California State Fairgrounds for us. They picked Building Number Five to do the Covid shots, and I was super impressed with their efficient operation. Lots of stations, tons of friendly helpful people, and a big holding area to wait out the 15 minutes after our shots. It really went fast even with the ‘Disneyland Style Line’ of people waiting for their shot. We had some talkative and nervous people in line with us and that made the wait kind of enjoyable. Okay for me mostly, I’m the blabbermouth between us, but Larry was joining in with me some of the time. Maybe it was his nerves, but I think I’m rubbing off on him more than I thought I would. I’m sure I can speak for Larry here; we really love doing things together and this ranked right up there with that thought. 

In California, everyone from 16 years-old qualifies for the shot now, we qualified at the first of April. I’m so happy we both agreed on getting the shot. Larry is not a big fan of vaccinations, like the flu shot, he’s never had one! He gets the flu, but not the shot! Maybe it’s a macho thing for him. This time he agreed to get the Covid shot with me, there’s too much at stake if we lose each other over not getting vaccinated.

I know there are many who are afraid of the vaccination, or afraid of the needle. The new needles are so thin and sharp I’ve never felt them. I’m not into watching getting shot but I’m always amazed that it’s over before I know it. Anyway, we are far more afraid of Covid than the shot! Enough said on Covid! Well, there is more on the positive side. Covid put us together in my home 24/7, it was those non-work hours and work hours that showed us how much we loved living together.

Once we both have had a few weeks under our belts after our Covid shots, maybe we’ll feel more like traveling away from home again. If there’s one thing, we both share, is the desire not to lose each other over this virus. We can wait, after all we are living together now, it’s not like we are apart and can’t see each other. Well… there is one apart thing I hate big time right now.

Larry, my best reason to get into bed every night early and wake up with every morning early, has had to return to work three days a week in his Elk Grove office, (that’s south of Sacramento approximately 40 miles from where we live.) At least he’s been successful at keeping two days in our home office. He hates commuting just like me, but I think he hates leaving the convenience of our home office more. I don’t just think that I know that for a fact!

I’ve been getting up early with him on his commute mornings to go make his coffee and breakfast while he’s getting ready for work. Sadly, there’s no joint shower-time together on the commute days. I’d certainly keep him home too long for that early commute of his. In fact, on those commute days he showers in the office bathroom, which makes good sense, since our clothes are all located in the office closet anyway. Besides that, the shower stall is too small for two fun loving and horny guys together anyway! But don’t be too concerned for us, if you do the math, there are four other days in the week that we can get to the fun and games in our big master bath shower area. When we are working from our home office, the actual work can wait for us, it ain’t going anywhere soon without us! 

Now let’s get back to me sleeping with my babe before I move on to something else. We both agree on this, the heat needs to be off during the night. We both are warm blooded men and sweating at night can happen sometimes. The lack of heat at night will quell the sweat during the cold months. (Let’s not get into the hot months right now, okay! Anyway, stop meandering away from the topic Marcus!) In the early morning, let’s say just before any alarm might be set for ‘Get your ass out of bed, it’s a commute to work day!’ Yeah, that’s the time my body becomes a heat seeking missile and my target is really, really close by. I move over to cuddle up with my very own furry teddy bear. Sometimes his back fur tickles me when we cuddle, but I try not to giggle to screw up the moment. (I know I’m about to meander again, but I must.) For those several good buddy years where we were so scared of letting each other know our hidden feelings, all I wanted to do was to feel what his fur felt like. I’m serious! I was so fascinated with something that I don’t have myself. Okay, I have a decent hairy chest and belly, but nothing as cool as Larry’s all over fur. The more he tried to hide that from me, the more I worked at getting him to become more comfortable around me, but that still came with the ‘hands off the furry goods’. Okay since you know so much about us, you can laugh at us now because we kept that nonsense up for exactly seven years and nine months! Don’t think I’ll ever forget the amount of time it took us to finally be honest about our attraction to each other.

After my heat seeking cuddle move, my next target move was not only natural but always welcome at the same time. I’d reach around his furry middle to check on his play toy. If it’s ‘morning-wood ready,’ I have approximately one minute until it’s, “Sorry Sweetbabes, I gotta pee bad!” However, if it’s all soft ‘n squishy nestled between his two big smooth beautiful balls, I’ve got lots of time to play! Now don’t get the idea that I disapprove of rock-hard dicks on first contact, because I don’t, duh! But I sure love the job of getting them that way though. 😜 

Some time ago I believe it was Larry who wrote about it, or maybe it was me; I learned how much Larry yearned to be touched, he didn’t get enough of that with Ellen who’s not a fan of furry men and vocal about it. Well, I fixed that for him, no problem! Sometimes I get carried away playing and twirling his belly or chest hair a little to long before heading southbound. No problem though because a very gentle but firm hand pushes mine slowly down until it lands in his play zone. That’s when I giggle. Before you think this is only a one-sided thing, it’s not. There are plenty of times when it’s my babe doing the cuddling up play toy search routine with me. I’m not keeping track, it’s a good bet we both get an equal share of receiving and stroking time around here. 

Well, we don’t fool around on his commute days and frankly, it’s a bummer for me, but I’m not the one facing an hour commute by getting started out too late. So, I count my blessings and know when he gets home, he’s all mine once more! I’ll have a nice dinner ready for him, unless I’m super-horny, then dinner is in the warming oven for a little longer! You must invest in a warming oven; funny thing, it was only used for party food with Lisa. It’s got a new name and function now, ‘Holding for Sex Oven.’ 😂

I hate those days that he’s gone and have had to deal with the depression that comes with it. Our bond and need to be together has only grown stronger this past year. The Marcus and Larry from the first chapters you’ve read have changed quite a bit. We are more attached at the hip than ever now. Living together could have gone in the other direction just as well. But it didn’t at all; maybe all those years waiting is responsible, I bet it is, too. We’ve gotten to the stage of thinking each other’s thoughts and speaking in tandem, like an old married couple. We used to be quite different from each other for years, and I can’t tell you for a fact who’s changed more, we have adjusted to each other together, we’ve both changed and morphed into the couple we are now. So far, we haven’t had any major disagreements to deal with, we do talk things out before they can become sticky issues. I think we respect each other more than our wives ever have done with us. It’s my feeling, and I think I’m right.

TIME TO UNLOAD SOME NEWS

It’s been a blog topic for a little while, but now it’s happened for real. And it has been an emotional roller coaster for me and the reason why I haven’t written a chapter in a while. I chose to retire and not accept the offer from my Pops. It wasn’t easy, and I struggled with it for a long time. I didn’t know how Pops would take my rejection, and it wrenched my gut for too long. Thanks for Larry caring so much for me, he was aware of the struggle and was my sounding board without pushing me in any one direction. It was to be my choice and he’d respect whatever that was. I really should clone him in case I break him someday!

I have a feeling I might wander a bit writing this for you, I guess you’re used to me doing that to you anyway, so nothing new here. My wife Lisa and I never had a passionate love affair, either living together or after marriage. Our passion was our work and let’s face it, making money, lots of money! We had sex sometimes, but it was more like a job that we weren’t crazy about. I can say that now because I know what real passionate sex is like finally. It might come across that I didn’t like sex that much, no, I like any sex. However, in my marriage it was with myself more often than not. No, not more often, always, and daily. And after I got a good look at my new neighbor Mark (Larry) years ago, my fantasy world got hotter than ever and daily jerk off time became the ritual. If he only knew how much fantasy sex, I had with him in the shower, he’d probably clobber me! 

There’s a reason why I brought that up once again, and if you haven’t guessed already, I’ll tell you, it’s about Larry. I don’t want him to turn into my second go-around Lisa. If I took the job I was offered, I’m afraid work would be all consuming once again. I can’t do that, not to him, not to me. If there was never a Larry in my life, you can bet I’d take the position offered and then turn into my own version of Pops. I love Pops, but I don’t want to be him. I want to be ‘Marcus’, not the public guy with a different first name everyone in my circle knows. Marcus is becoming more real every passing day and I’m wearing him well. I’m free of my job and that guy our employees know. Marcus is only known by you and Larry, not even our wives know about him. And it’s going to stay that way. The day Larry decided to call me 'Marc or Marcus' instead of my known first name was incredible for me. And then he blew me away when he decided that my 'Larry in the journal' described him better than his own Mark ever did and wished to be called 'Larry' instead by me. We really are those guys now; it wasn’t a hard transfer at all once we allowed ourselves to be free of our former selves.

YEAH, ABOUT POPS AND MY BABE

I must write about Pops and me today, just not right here yet, but soon though. I did had a conversation with Pops recently and I’ll tell you I was scared shitless at first, but Marcus if nothing else has his own set of balls, and I used them, too! It was an important call, a needed conversation, and it worked out, thanks to Marcus’ useful balls!

Anyway, back to Larry not becoming my next Lisa for a bit longer. I let him know first hand that was my greatest fear that by taking the position would do to us. No matter how much Larry assured me that he wouldn’t let it happen, I was more afraid that I could let it happen. Just learning the job, commuting to Sacramento daily, spending 12 hour-days in the office and sometimes sleeping there as I found out about Pops recently, no fucking way! I have everything I ever wanted with Larry; I don’t need for anything else. 

I don’t want to bore you too much, about this, Pops and I are no longer in our former jobs now. We stepped down, but not out. We are still stockholders in the company, and we both have a healthy income from our mutual retirements. I spent a few difficult weeks getting my replacement onboard and now I’m convinced Pops put the right person in the job. Pops position wasn’t replaced, just retired for now. I have no idea how he pulled that off, and frankly, I don’t want to know. He’s a workaholic and even though he’s 81 years-old now, there’s nothing stopping that guy! I love him to the moon and back and I respect everything about him, but I never want to be him! Not now, not ever!

Here’s another thing about my babe now, he’s not happy with the return to his office even though it only for three days a week. Covid work at home did have it’s good elements for us because it really cemented our present relationship. I have a solution for him, maybe he’s not quite ready for it yet. Retire with me, let’s find the next solution together. He’s rightfully concerned that he’s too young to retire, I say let’s not call it retirement, let’s say we are just between engagements. I know I’m making it too simple saying that, but we both have done well earning a living. I have no problems supporting the both of us even though he insists upon paying his way. I understand his position on this, it’s never going to be a contention between us. Personally, a few more traffic jams on the commute might change his mind. That’s just fantasy, the reality is having had our Covid vaccinations under our belt now will make the next move easier for us. I do believe that.

MY ONE-ON-ONE WITH POPS, I NEEDED THIS

First of all, this meeting wasn’t as hard to muster up the courage as the last one was, and I didn’t need Larry at my side for support as well; I had my balls, remember. If anything, it was a family affair not about work or the eminent retirements. I just wanted some time to visit with the man who was there for me every step of the way after the loss of my parents. He is headed for Mexico very soon and I’m not sure exactly when we will see each other again.

I had a gift for him, oh, nothing as grand as his gift was for us, but I feel it was a needed gift. I bought him a new iPhone to replace that antique flip phone of his. I know he’ll complain about the size difference, and the technology to learn how to use it, but I’m here to teach him one thing if nothing else, FaceTime! I’m going to miss seeing him, there’s no more video conferencing from work now. Maybe we can FaceTime each other from time to time, maybe every time! And texting is something he’s not used to as well. That’s going to be nice to see a text from him, even if it’s just to say, “Hi, how are you son?”

I took advantage of one of Larry’s office days to meet up with Pops at his home. Pops was happy that I invited myself over, I bet he wished it were himself making the offer to visit first though. Not a concern, because I got a very not normal ‘Larry style hug’ at the front door. Hugging wasn’t a thing for him before, although it seems to be top of his 'To Do' list lately. That’s just fine with me, I’ve learned to love hugging too. This time when the hug ended, I received a cheek kiss as well. That’s new, again welcome, we are becoming more family on every call or meeting since work is out of the picture now.

I couldn’t wait to give him his gift and see his reaction. After his, “What’s this gift for?” I could have said it was a belated birthday gift, or it was to get him into the current century, but chose, “Just something I want you to have, you’ll see.” It’s kind of hard to disguise the iPhone since the packaging displays the content, but his reaction was cool. He said, “You really want me to have this huh? It’s a pretty complicated device, right?” I laughed but not too hard, “No sir, you’ll be using it like a pro soon enough. I’ll teach you what you need to know, don’t worry.” I helped him transfer his contact information and he was amazed that he could keep his phone number, too. We’ll deal with all the apps sometime hopefully.

You don’t get to be a guy like my Pops and not learn to adapt pretty damn quick. However, my main goal was to teach him how to FaceTime with me. So, after a few tips I gave him, I showed him the FaceTime App and explained how to use it. I stepped away into another room and used the app to call him. I needed to call out to remind him on how to receive the call. And there he was, all smiling and looking like a child on Christmas Morning. He saw me on his screen and asked if I could see him too. “You bet Pops, and I like that smile I see.” He asked if Larry could do this, too. I told him of course he can, and all he said was, “Good!” I wonder if I have to warn my buddy about that! Or I could let him find out himself. Well, after a short spell, I was asked if he could return to seeing me in person instead of on the phone. Haha, you bet he could.

My gift wasn’t the only thing I had in mind to cover before he left for Mexico. I wanted him to know about my real relationship with Larry, to be the first ‘family member’ I would come out to. Thanks to this journal blog and the friendships I’ve developed with many of you, I gained the courage to talk about myself in the last couple of years. Pops openness to tell us about his buddy Harvey last time, gave me the balance of the courage I needed.

I asked Pops if I could talk openly about sensitive topics with him, and somehow, he knew exactly what that meant. He assured me, there was nothing that would be off limits. Really! I didn’t expect that, but it really made me more comfortable. Without repeating everything I ever wrote about already in this journal, I told him about our first meeting years ago, only this time the truth about how attracted I was to him. Everyone who knows us well, agree that we are great buddies, but only like regular straight Bros. If anyone thought otherwise, they kept it to themselves. Well, except for our wives, they new we had something special between us, perhaps not sexual though since that wasn’t to be a factor for years and years.

We had a nice long talk and I brought him up to us living together thanks to the Covid restrictions and working from home. Well, he knew that, maybe not the lovers part though. There was the distinct possibility that we each had our own bedrooms and baths; the house is large, and he is very aware of its features. And I had to discuss our wives and how they were instrumental in getting us together. Plus, I let him know about their own relationship with each other. Our last meeting put the notion in his head about much of this knowledge, I just wanted to cap it off so there’d be no falsifying or need for covering up any longer. I needed approval from him, I love and respect him so much, I just needed to be sure it was okay with him. Not that I’d change one thing if he weren’t onboard. Larry is a part of me now, I don’t exist without him. Marcus exists today because Larry is a big part of him, I’ve learned that long ago, now it’s time to let more people into our lives. We are much stronger together. I don’t know why that wasn’t true with Lisa and me, the love is different this time. Yeah, I know she doesn’t have a dick! Haha, that’s true but it’s not the kind of love I’m talking about. I do love dicks though, I’m not afraid of saying that anymore.

I asked Pops if there was anything he wished that were different about his relationship with his best buddy Harvey. And I was surprised to hear, no, not really. What they had was solid enough for them. If it crossed the line sometimes, it wasn’t going to destroy their marriages or friendships. Perhaps it was a ‘Love Generation’ thing that they all grew up with in the ‘60s that allowed shared unconditional love without damning labels. Open sexuality, doing what feels good at the time, that described their relationship. Somehow that seems a lot more attractive than the hide and cover it up existence Larry and I have experienced together. 

Pops put his blessing on our relationship even though he’s been known to be very conservative about the gay lifestyle in the past. Maybe it’s the labels he didn’t like, maybe it’s all in my own mind about what he felt. Maybe it was my trying to hide who I was that colored my reaction to what I heard. Today, none of that mattered any longer. Pops is a big fan of Larry, and maybe more than a little attracted to him as well. I don’t blame him, there’s a lot of man there to be attracted to!

My best present ever!

Pops told me to give him a minute, there’s something he wants me to see. I wasn’t expecting that or had any idea of what it could be. It took a few minutes, and when he returned from his bedroom, he was carrying a brown rectangular book or album with a tooled leather cover. He asked me to join him at the dining table to look at the pictures. It was a very old photo album that he brought to the table, and I do mean old. There were real photographs with little pasted triangle picture holders on the corners and white ink descriptions written on the faded black pages. Oh, this must go back to when he was young boy himself. Yes, I was right there were some schoolboy pictures of him, and some of him in his high school football gear. And then as he turned the pages for me, the decade changed to the sixties. And my interest grew exponentially.

Pops pointed to a few old photographs from the Panhandle area near Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Some were very faded, and there were some Polaroid pictures as well. Unfortunately, those didn’t age very well. And then he pointed to a musician on the stage, it was small and hard to notice much, actually it was the drummer performing. Pops asked me if I might know who that was. Of course, I had no clue. He told me it was Harvey, his long-time friend and the first percussionist of my dad’s band. It was hard to make out any details, but Pops had no difficulty. Then he asked me if I recognized the man on the Tenor Sax. Again, kind of small for me to recognize. He told that was my dad, it was his band on the stage at the time. And then he said see the woman in back with the long skirt and tambourine in hand, and I said, “Is that my mom?” Yes, I was right but again the stage was far away and the musicians hard to see. But he had other photos from other days that were clearer and amazing since I’ve never seen any of these photographs before. And then he pointed to a picture with a little guy on the grass between adults on blankets, and it looked like he was moving to the music playing and having a great time. Oh yeah, he was without clothes too, and I remembered what Pops told Larry about me doing just that when I was around two or so. “That’s me, huh!” “Bingo, good guess son, that certainly was you. You really loved the attention you got from everyone.” I don’t know why I said it out loud, but I did mention the little guy matched his little pee-pee in size. “Man, I sure had a ‘Wee Willy’ for a toddler, huh?” Pops laughed and said all the guys in the band hoped it would grow in size with me and laughed again! Yeah, thanks a lot for the image Pop I thought, but I just came out and said, “You know I’m okay in that department, and that Larry and I are pretty average guys down there.” Pops laughed again, I did too, and I wondered why I even said that. I guess it seemed right at the time, it’s a ‘Marcus thing’ lately.

Pops asked me if I could find him in some of the group shots, that wasn’t easy. With a few helpful clues I picked out the wrong guy a few times in a row and finally said, maybe he could point himself out to me instead. Wow, I’d have to spend more time than what we took to locate him; ‘Finding Waldo’ would take less time! Upon reflection and the knowledge that Pops hasn’t lost a single strand of hair on his head, not like a couple of I guys I know well! The first musician I thought he looked like was Queen’s lead guitarist Brian May, yeah that’s what Pops looked like back in the ‘60s. He had almost an Afro of long curly processed brown hair, wearing bell bottoms jeans and a tie-dyed T-shirt plus he was pretty thin looking, too. “Really, Pops that was you!” He laughed pretty hard, and said, “Hard to believe, huh?” So, I asked him if he’d grow back his long hair now that he’s retired. Surprisingly, he asked back, “Do you think I should?” “Pops with your full head of white hair, why not! You’d look awesome!” I don’t know, maybe he would, I wish I had his hair, mine is going fast enough!

Seeing the album and pictures I never knew existed, it was a little too much to handle. I was trembling I’m sure because Pops seemed a little alarmed. He grabbed my shoulder to calm me down some. I had no idea there were pictures, amazing pictures of people I only slightly remember now after so many years. And my parents as young people, I mean I have memories of them, but not when they were 20 something. My big surprise, bigger than finding out about the pictures, Pops was giving me the album to keep. My heart soared and I turned and gave him a big hug and kiss, no, not on the lips, just a big fat kiss on the cheek. I got a big hug back from him, too. Pops said that he has no one to hand down his memories, and he wanted me to remember him when he was gone. Yeah, forget the trembling, start the waterworks now. I can’t think about him dying one day, I’m having a hard enough time thinking of him living in Mexico and not just a few miles away from me. That was too much to deal with, so I just sat closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder for a while. He completely understood the situation and let me. But as time moves forward, there’s a time limit on this, too. So, he broke the silence to talk about his buddy Harvey.

I guess with no topic off limit, Pops brought up that his buddy Harvey had a quite different problem. That Harvey’s penis was way more than gifted, probably more like cursed with its enormous size. Pops said there was a time that he and Harvey tried to have consensual sex, but he ended up getting hurt badly. They never tried anal sex again but had other opportunities for sex over the years when they were high. I asked Pops if they had to be high to be sexual with each other. I figured why not ask, we’re being very open and honest with each other right now. I told him that Larry and I never use drugs or alcohol to be sexually active. We turn ourselves on just by looking at each other. I didn’t tell him that part though. Pops was being real today, “Yes, we were high every time, it’s what we did most of the time when we were young.” I had to ask, “Pops, was it always that way between you two?” “No, as we grew older, times and opportunities changed. Sometimes I’d wish we were still young and carefree, but no, things changed between us. But we still remained good solid friends over the years.” 

It was hard to get the mental image of what Harvey’s enormous tool might look like out of my head now, and I wondered why I never noticed that back in the days the band would be over for a swim and BBQ at my parents place. Those hippies must have taught me the joys of nakedness, I’m a firm believer of that, I know I got it from someplace. I guess naked men and their dicks wasn’t that big of a thing just yet for me. However, swimming was always swimsuit optional back then, but mostly always naked for the guys. Maybe feminine hygiene at times kept some women from getting naked, but I remember a lot of naked people as I was growing up. So, I had to ask him, he said nothing was off-limits. Was he and Ginny part of the gang that showed up at my parents parties at times. The answer, “Of course we were, your dad and I were good friends, and I did a lot of the business for the band back then.” “So, were you one of the many naked guys in the pool too?” He just had the biggest belly laugh of the day at that point and added, “What do you think, son?” I just laughed some and dropped the topic, but I did tell him that the album was the nicest gift I ever received because it gave me back my parents and best of all, a really cool looking dude, my Pops when he was young. Pops didn’t say anything more, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to agree with me.

Pops brought up the dreaded subject when he passes on. He wants me to be the Executor of his Estate and follow up on his requests. He wants to be buried with his late wife Ginny and not in Mexico. And there’s a foundation he’s been funding at the University that needs to be handled. However, he’s working on getting that resolved before much longer. He also told me that since he has no family heirs, that I will receive a good portion of his Estate and hoped that I would see that my children and grandchildren benefit from that as well. It was hard to say much since I don’t seem to handle death very well. Needless to say, my emotions got to the best of me that day.

MY WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE

I want to come clean with you as I have with Larry about my weight loss. First up, I crashed through the 200-pound barrier finally! I was stuck there for a while, now I’m at 195 and almost to where I want to be on the scale! That’s now 45 pounds (24.4k) down to date and I’m so happy with myself. I’ll get to my babe’s feelings on this in a bit. 

My goal in the last year or so was to match Larry’s never changing 185 pounds, lucky dude! Yes, I know, I’m a couple of inches taller and shouldn’t be using his weight as a guide for myself. Well, as you may know about him, his weight is free of my kind of body fat, his muscle is bricks to my fat feathers. But I’ve been as low as 175 pounds when I was much younger and trust me, I wasn’t the least bit looking underweight! I inherited the ‘fluffy gene’ from my mom’s side of the family.

Larry has stated often that he had no problem with my weight, and I guess he figured out that the ‘bearish look’ was very cool with him. This struggle of mine has nothing to do with Larry whatsoever. I couldn’t love him more on how he has accepted my fluctuation in weight over the years. How could I even think he had a problem with it, he’d be the first to make a comment, at least I think he would have. Weight never got to be a topic ever between us, I mean given his propensity for ‘ball-busting’ comments, he never did. I’m just unhappy being overweight and have struggled to keep it off my whole life. I tried different diets over many years, the last one being Weight Watchers a few years ago. Some of them have worked for a while, but there’d be a point where no matter how much dieting I’d do, my weight just wouldn’t move downwards anymore. I’d get depressed and then I’d gain it all back with a few new pounds as well. If anything, that made me even more depressed and likely to eat just to calm my nerves over my failure. It’s a vicious cycle so many people must deal with daily. Anyway, some time ago I caught a TV commercial on the 'Noom weight control plan' and looked into what it was offering. This time was going to be the last weight loss diet ever. Personally, I don’t know why I trusted that it would work. But this time my goal for losing for good… well you know, do I really have to tell you?

First of all, Noom is not a diet, or restrictive mean plan, it’s mostly a psychological program that lets you get inside your mindset about food and what and why we chose what to eat and when. You get daily briefings to read, ideas to try, and message other ‘Noomers’ on the program with you, plus there is a private coach to message as well. It takes less than ten minutes in the morning to read these, and I do log my foods with their extensive food database. And horrors of horrors, I actually had to step on a scale daily to record my weight. That was a gutsy move on my part!

I remember the feeling in my gut when I had to take out my scale that I had hiding in the bathroom linen closet. I had to record my starting weight to track my pending weight loss. Oh, I was almost trembling over that. I fully expected that I was way heavier than I actually was. When the scale had me at 240.4 pounds I was astounded, I mean really astounded, I was ready to expect 270 or more. I didn’t believe the scale, so I changed the batteries and weighed myself again, the number didn’t change. Does that tell you about self image or what! I was so down on myself for not looking the way I thought I should look. I’m still trying to deal with how hard I was on myself.

So, I started ‘Noom’ on a positive note, mainly, I had less to lose than I first expected. I was skeptical about the program and kept putting the scale back in the closet after every weigh-in, I didn’t want any evidence around to suggest my concern. I kept my secret about trying to lose weight pretty well, I think. I didn’t want to admit it to anyone, let alone Larry. Really, I finally had someone in my life who could accept me the way I was and not judge me. No, this was more about me and my self-image that needed correction. 

Larry has been talking and writing about my weight loss and I had to come clean with him so he wouldn’t worry about me having some kind of a medical problem. The biggest thing I had to hear from him was about me losing too much weight and getting boney hips. He’d hate dealing with that on me, man I’d love to feel my hip bones for once! Haha, I know they’re in there some place. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem for him at all. I’m a big boned guy, but boney hips, right!

I must write about this too, maybe only a few guys like me will get what I’m about to say though. I have written too often about my ‘grower problem’ and Larry has made it his life’s work to get me off that kind of thinking, bless his big fucking heart! So, this is not so much about that, which by the way, has never been a problem for me around him. One look at him naked or not, goes directly to the blood flow to my dick! I’ve never consider that a problem around him. Maybe at the gym that I don’t go to anymore though. Anyway, I’m off topic again. That 45 pounds has given me something I haven’t seen in a very long time. When I weigh myself naked, I can look down to my feet to read the scale and wow, I can see my dick now, too! Well, I can see some of it, haha! No trust me, that’s so just fucking cool, and I can see it when I’m sitting down naked too! Some of my ‘grower thing’ had more to do with pubic and belly fat hiding my tools. Can you give me a good reason why I shouldn’t lose those last 10 pounds, no don’t give me bad ideas! Can you now imagine the wide smile, or grin on my face when I can see all of me without using a mirror! Thanks ‘Noom’ my dick really appreciates your program more than you think. I don’t think I can tell the other ‘Noomers’ about this though, let this be just between us guys, okay. Enough on diets, weight loss and emerging dicks. This is just my personal weight loss journey and not a medical problem. We don’t judge people on their looks, that’s just not like either one of us.

WRAPPING IT UP FOR NOW

Today is the last of Larry’s commute days and he’ll be home with me for the next four days in a row. If he were me, I’d have a stiff drink in hand for me after that long commute home. But you know him by now, a Club Soda with Lime does the same trick. Sometimes I have his favorite Pellegrino on hand, otherwise club soda works just as well. I’d like to go out for dinner with him tonight since our area has inside dining once more. But I know how tired he’ll be and how quickly he’d like to shed his work clothes for something more comfortable. I can’t wait for the weather to get warmer; my guy is more like me than me now about being naked around the place.

Recently I’ve turned on the gas heater for the pool, but surprisingly, Larry is pretty conservative about giving P.G.&E. our Gas Company so much money for heating the pool, especially when I have Solar Panels for that. Well, those days are coming soon enough, but solar is not heating the pool yet. I was thinking about heating the pool for tonight, but didn’t want that conversation about cost again, so I didn’t turn it on today. Kiss-off a swim together tonight, I hate cold water. It’s getting warmer lately, swim time is getting more real every week. 

Like I said, it’s been nice Spring weather for us so I’m planning on grilling some steaks for dinner. The perfect key to his heart, BEEF! Haha, that’s a limited food item on ‘Noom’ though so I’ll have a small very lean Top Sirloin instead of a big hunking Ribeye. He’ll eat almost any salad I make now, so that and some ear corn I picked up at the Farmers Market this week. That’s about it for dinner, we both skip desserts though. Yeah, my ‘I never gain weight buddy’ has noticed the snugness of his pants lately. Haha, yeah maybe middle age is what changes everything for him. Nah, what we both need is more exercise. We do get our walks every night though. Larry started that for my knee surgery recovery, but now it’s our time to walk and talk about whatever is on our minds. I love and look forward to these walks with him.

Larry entered the house from inside the garage tonight, he has been since he returned to his office. I don’t remember if I told you, we got the garage rearranged to fit that beast of a pickup truck of his. Thanks to his logical thinking and organizing, it fits. I was useless trying to figure out how to get it inside. He brings the ‘Left Brain’ to our party and it’s most welcome. Anyway, the idea of no commute for four days lifted anything negative to talk about, in fact his commute was shorter in time today, so he caught me still working on dinner prep. 

I got the best warm hug from behind as I was preparing the salad for dinner. I know somebody is feeling ‘frisky’ tonight, yay! As I was into slicing a cucumber for the salad, he was into taking my shirt off over my head. Now that my belly, (What belly is that? Haha) is hardly there, his hands were down inside my shorts without any difficulty. He found what he was looking for and suggested that maybe we take care of his ‘needs.’ Well, right then that became 'two-sided needs.’ He wondered if I could still make the salad while he had my dick in his mouth. Hey, I could try. Nope, that proved not very ‘left-brained’ at all. I figured the salad could wait a few minutes longer. Man, he must have missed me big time today. That feels so good to think about. I am a bit embarrassed to say, he had me off faster than a kid trying to hide that he was jerking off when you caught him!

Larry was a little surprised himself but looked a little proud that he could do that to me so quickly. He said, “Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn after dinner. By the way, what’s for dinner?” His response after I told him was, “That’s fucking awesome dude! I gotta go pee!”  I’m surprised he didn’t go pee on his way to the kitchen anyway, I know I’d need to after that commute. Hell, I had to go pee after visiting Pops today, and he only lives a few miles from here! 

True to our relationship, Larry is the Barbecue Guy around here and he just went out to the grill and fired her up. He still can’t believe the ridiculously small size of my steak, but he knows why now. He handles food differently than me, especially beef. I used to eat just like him until I got to 240 pounds or more and he didn’t. I think I know how to choose food more realistically for myself now. 

We ate outside on my office deck tonight, still so nice outside. I’m so happy the Winter is over finally. After we finished eating, he just gets up and starts the clearing of the table. Of course, I join in with him. It’s what we do together, he is only comfortable when the clutter and dirty dishes are not an issue. It took me a while to adjust to his attitude on this, but I have now, and I respect his wishes. It just feels good to have the work behind us instead of facing us later. Smart man he is!

I wanted to tell him all about my visit with Pops after dinner with a cup of fresh coffee. And of course, the album I’m in possession of now. But all afternoon I was worried how it could affect Larry if I show off my old family pictures. There’s nothing wrong with the pictures except for my ‘Wee Willy’ picture that I could ignore pointing out to him. But none of that is what I was thinking about. Larry was rescued from a very abusive home when he was so very young and virtually thrown into the Foster Care System. He has no family or old family pictures to share that I know of. How will he handle this, maybe I worry too much about him. Well, with fresh coffee mugs in hand and no worry in my gut,  I started to tell him about my visit today. And I told him that Pops gave me a wonderful gift to keep. Larry asked what it was, and I told him it was a very old photo album from before the ‘60s. 

Larry was very curious who was in the album and of course I had to tell him. He couldn’t wait until I brought out the album. The first thing out of his mouth was if I was in there as a little kid since I was born in ’62 there was maybe a chance. I wasn’t in there a lot, but Pops and his wife were plus my dads band

Pops Album guess who's in the pictures

and my parents too. Larry was so excited to see the pictures that he moved his chair right next to mine so we could see them together. As the natural light was getting weaker, we moved inside to go through the album. 

My fear for him was so off-track, it’s ridiculous. I now think the pictures gave him a family of sorts, some roots that he could chose to be a part of finally. During the entire album viewing time, sitting to my right side, he had his left arm around my neck and shoulder to bring him into close contact with my body. There were times when I attempted to turn a page only to be held from doing so, he wasn’t done viewing the page yet.

I was so relieved he was enjoying the experience with me. Of course, you must know he found my toddler picture immediately, thanks to Pops talking about it a while ago. However, he avoided the obvious tiny toddler penis reference while viewing the album with me. It was a while later in bed with my dick in his hand that he said he was so glad my dick did finally grow along with the rest of my body. He got the ‘Wee Willy’ comment in eventually but found the most perfect time to say it. That’s my babe, got to love him!

Maybe it’s time to close off the posting at this point. Thanks for reading about the two of us once more. Hopefully, you’ll have had your chance to get inoculated against the virus like us, the peace it gives us is priceless.

Marcus

Our Journal continues with Larry's 14th Chapter:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2021/05/larrys-14th-post-hey-remember-me-furry.html