CH 82: Marcus Totally Exposed, No More Secrets

Hey guys, you think it’s about time for me to get off my lazy ass and write another journal chapter? Tada another chapter! Ask me if I love reading Larry’s chapters more than writing my own. Rhetorical, don’t bother, we both know the answer to that one. However, as often as we get to just sit and talk, there’s always something juicy he’s been sitting on for years that I get to read along with you. I guess we still haven’t gotten to the point of knowing everything about each other yet. That’s not a bad thing, I like it better that way.

OUR THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WAS IN MARCH
I received a letter from Sam and Johnny; they have a back-page story of their marriage here in the blog. They had the third anniversary of their marriage in March. Sam always remembers that our story started here in our journal three years ago in March as well. It was nice that they remembered and try to stay in touch with us whenever they can.

We didn’t go away to celebrate, just kept it local and lowkey for now. It seems like we are stuck here all the time, but that will change when we do something special for our coming honeymoon. The subject of where that will be is still being discussed, so nothing new to report here. We did go out for a nice dinner though. We’ve been discovering more about the cities bordering us lately, one of which is called Citrus Heights. It’s several miles or so west of us and borders on Roseville’s south side. I don’t know why you need to know that it’s like automatic writing for me, it just comes out. So, there’s this really cool Mexican restaurant named El Tapatio that we like to go to, sometimes for Taco Tuesday. 

We discovered the place when Covid-19 was a big fucking pain in the ass closing down restaurants and stores. El Tapatio was smarter than most restaurants, they erected this giant circus tent to put in their parking lot. And then they brought out all of their loose chairs and tables, gave us safe distances to sit, put water misters on the outer edges of the tent for the summer heat, and kept a full staff on board. Those poor guys had to hustle their asses to get the food from inside the kitchen to way out under the tent. Larry and I were so impressed, the food was wonderful and the service outstanding. We double-tipped the servers and were happy to do so. That’s where we went to eat for our third anniversary. I guess it wasn’t the best place where we could feel comfortable being affectionate in public, but Larry sneaked in little neck kisses whenever he could. My hands were equally busy under the table whenever I could. I figured, there’s nothing but privacy at home. Let’s have a nice time out and a good dinner, too. I had the ‘Cocktail de Camarones’, it’s served in a giant stemmed glass bowl with a ton of large shrimp, diced avocado, and Pico de Gallo in tomato-based juice. It is very filling, and I couldn’t eat a bite of anything else. Larry headed for anything on the menu starting with beef. I’d do the same thing if I were him myself, it’s what he loves. I knew ‘Carne Asada’ didn’t have a chance of being ignored, anything else on the plate held a distant second place. Haha. Actually, I believe it was a beef Chimichanga.

So, getting back to our anniversary, one day we will be celebrating three dates or just combine them into one easy to remember date. We have the aforementioned three-years since coming out to each other, the day we met for the first time, and of course, our future wedding date which is waiting on how and when our divorces are final.

Writing this section made me remember seeing Mark for the first time. He’s written about it from his point of view, so here’s mine. I know he was expecting an older guy and I think I might have been doing the same for him. We were in our forties at the time, not kids, mostly just plain old middle-aged guys. However, once I laid eyes upon Mark as he came through his backyard gate and over to where I was standing, I knew immediately that I was gay! Period, end of story, just fucking gay. No more nagging questions in my mind; I played straight my whole life and now I knew it really was just playing. And there’s no way in fucking Hell that I’m going to let him know what a turn-on he was for me. However, I knew in my mind that one day, he’s going to know this about me. I just didn’t know it was going to take only seven years and nine months from that day in June to that trip in March to let him know. You all know the rest of the story, except how painful it was to sit on your feelings for such a long time.

There’s this thing that did occur to me many years ago, once I determined that gay was a real thing about me; why was it only my new neighbor Mark, why did he get me to admit that to myself? I’ve known plenty of guys, been in the 24-Hour Fitness locker room a multitude of times and seen many naked men in there. No one ever made me think, oh yeah, I’m gay. I think I know why, too. I was never comfortable being naked in front of other men, I just didn’t measure up to what I thought I should look like in that situation. I’ve seen guys there with muscles that match my babe’s and some who didn’t know when to stop. It wasn’t the muscles. I’ve seen guys with dyed blonde hair, hirsute guys, young guys, old guys, the whole gamut and no one ever made my heart beat so hard as the first time I met Mark. Some things just don’t have ready answers I guess. But they do happen for a reason that’s not always known.

SO, WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO LATELY?
I’ve been doing a lot of soulful thinking, not just writing and painting as Larry stated about me in his last chapter. Oh, what he wrote was not in the least bit incorrect at all; I indeed have been doing both for some time now. Perhaps it’s time for me to take a break from all of that and let you in on some of the things dancing in my head lately. Those of you that know us well over the years, you’ve got nothing to fear. It’s nothing that deep! I could make that deep, but I’d like to think I’m more respectful than that.

I read Larry’s last chapter a couple of times over and came away, well, impressed per usual. But this time I found something deeper to ponder. (Didn’t I just say I could make it deeper?) Every so often I have dropped the “you should retire” suggestion on him like a bomb and for months now. We can survive very well on what we have already, perhaps even better if he did. However, that might be just a horny pipe dream of mine. Imagine, never having anything else to do except love each other in a million ways every day. However, I know him like the back of my hand, I’d say my dick if I could get that close to it! Haha. It’s how he thinks that matters; my babe, if nothing else, plays fair and square with me, there’s not a chance in fucking Hell that he’d let me finance his way around here. His hand is in his back pocket grabbing his wallet anytime we are out shopping. Everything must be shared 50/50. Trust me, that makes me feel all goose-bumpy awesome that he feels that way about us. We both know that I don’t financially need anything from him but knowing that about him is worth a bloody fortune. 

Checking my content before getting out of bed.

That’s only part of what has led me to write this portion of my chapter though. It’s important that I get this idea across very clear so there’s no misinterpretation from anyone, especially my babe. So, here goes. I’ve been writing for weeks now, nothing worthy of putting in this blog, just points I want to cover in my future online class and the chapters that will become my next textbook. I have been known to spend hours reading what I’ve written, editing often, sometimes before I get out of bed. I’ll grab my iPad or iPhone to recheck something I wrote recently to see if it makes sense the next time I read it. 

Yes, if it sounds like I’m saying there’s another job on the horizon, absolutely. And then I read in Larry’s last chapter that the man I love more than myself has finally decided that he will indeed retire and join me in my so-called ‘retirement’. That’s still an amazing revelation to ponder considering how often I dropped the suggestion on him. And here I am pounding the keys of my laptop, creating my next online course to teach at the university. Why the fuck am I doing that?! I’m finally about to experience my pipe dream and I’m fucking busy blowing it for a future position that will certainly take time away from us! There’s a lot that goes into teaching 30 to 40 students online. Realistically, it translates to having up to 40 separate jobs per semester. Students expect personal attention, and I don’t blame them, I would as well. Talk about an epiphany that should have been expected knowing us.

Amazingly after reading his chapter, it led me to sit back and wonder just how much I miss what I did for a living, at the firm or the university. Is it that important after all is said and done? No, a thousand times no; it’s not! I would love to tell you upon realizing this that I just hit the delete key on the folders holding my work for the past several weeks. I would love to tell you that, but I can’t because I didn’t. I don’t know why for sure, but I did lock the folders and moved away from where it’s backed up in the cloud. I bust my ass writing that stuff, (well maybe not my ass) but I’m not at a place to discard it just yet. Maybe one day if I finish the textbook, I’ll publish my work and take a pass on teaching the course. I can see that as an option that won’t cut into my time with Larry. And for all it’s worth, honor his commitment to us. I’ll tell you and him right here, if he wants me to fucking destroy my work, I’ll do it. I will! If what I’ve been doing distresses him in the least bit, that shit will be gone in a heartbeat! At 59-years-old, maybe I don’t understand retirement myself, am I trying to be still relevant? But I understand commitment to my partner, and that’s worth way more than any of this.

SOMETHING ELSE THAT I LEARNED FROM LARRY’S LAST POSTING
I’m always surprised when I learn something new from reading his chapters, perhaps it’s more as intrigued than surprised. It goes back several years, too. It was his statement about why he was driven to look directly into my eyes when speaking to me. It was almost but not quite off-putting at first, but I quickly began to love the feeling that it invoked in me. There was this honesty I felt we were building together, and I picked up on it and made sure that I followed through on my end. You can trust me; it wasn’t hard to do when your new buddy has the most intensely electric blue eyes to look back into.

Now I’m finding out that he was covering any possibility of me finding him checking me out. Haha. That he found me attractive and didn’t want me to think he was turned on in any way. (Maybe, just maybe, I would have loved knowing that from day one. Hindsight is 20/20 after all.) There’s no question that there was a physical attraction from both sides and that we thought we were covering it up. Well, I guess we did an awesome job for several years. What a shame, but it still feels warm and fuzzy to know about that all these years later. I’m so happy the journal has given us a place to write about stuff we found awkward to talk about in person. I wonder if I’ll ever not think about that every time we talk now. That’s not a bad thing, just makes me love him more. I found it interesting that he brought it up since we’ve known each other for so many years, and that’s something we’ve never stopped doing.

As I mentioned, Larry’s last chapter has struck me in so many ways. You must know that I am so fucking proud of the writer he has become and how he allows all of us to come in and know him better. So, here are some of my thoughts after reading. Somehow, our rolls have reversed somewhat. He has often used one of my chapters to comment on or tell his side of the story. Especially the 30 or so chapters before he even knew about the blog. I fully expected that he’d want equal time once I let him know about what I was doing behind his back. To this day, I can’t believe he didn’t blow a fucking gasket about the sexy stuff I wrote about him in the blog. But now I know about the torch he was carrying for me behind my back. It certainly balanced the situation considering the torch I was carrying for him. Nothing has changed in that respect except we don’t hide it any longer.

Larry has often stated that he admired certain things about me, I’m okay with that, I’ve said the same about him. However, I don’t like feeling that I’m better in any way, shape, or form, from him. I refuse to accept that. I don’t want him to think of me other than his equal, period. I don’t care about our backgrounds, our families, our education, or our employment. None of that made me fall in love with him. I might be pushing it a bit too far by saying not even his physical beauty had a hand in my growing love for him. (You think?) That’s a hard one for me to deny. Come on, he’s so fucking gorgeous to look at; I think even more now than when we first met. I’m sorry Larry, it’s only a small part of my attraction to you, and you know that. (Do you think he bought that?) The fact that he says the same about me certainly gets my ego all warm and fuzzy. However, we are opposites in many other ways; they do say opposites attract just like magnets. I have no real knowledge of the signs of the Zodiac, so I’m only repeating what I’ve been told or read. I’m a Gemini born in June, he’s a Sagittarius born in December, true opposite signs and are supposed to be very compatible. At least that’s what it has been from day one meeting each other! I don’t follow the Zodiac at all but found that point interesting.

Since I brought up his physical attributes, of which any of you that follow us, are well aware of by now. Leads me to think about writing stuff I haven’t yet, and I will. I am in love with all his parts of course, but perhaps his muscled arms have been right at the top of that list. I worked out as a young man myself, so, I’m not really as big a slouch in this department as you might guess. However, I do spend a lot of time running my hands over his bulging arms, maybe a bit too much. (Never too much! Haha.) I just need to watch out that I don’t tickle him in the process. Man is he ever ticklish and I’m always pushing how far I can go knowing that too. I guess it depends upon how horny we are and what the tickling might lead to. 

By now we have learned that when Mark was younger, he worked hard at bulking up his thin frame.  (See I didn’t say skinny.) He spent many more years at that than I did, and man does it ever show. I can be truthful here, Larry’s body is enviable, obviously, but he’s not built like the super muscle-bound guys you see in competition. He actually is the picture of a guy who knew exactly when to stop training. He achieved what he set out to do for himself. That’s my take on what he looks like, whether naked, or not.

However, as I stated, we are opposites in many ways. If I’m not hanging around his arms, I tend to move on over to his pecs and sometimes hidden tiny nipples or poking his innie belly button. I could easily trace little circles on his chest hairs for hours and never tire of doing that. Except it doesn’t take too long for either of us to elevate it to something a lot hotter and final. I think you all have read enough of that about us over the years.

SO, HOW HORNY IS MARCUS?

I’d guess you could be thinking, man, Marcus must be hornier than ever right now. And you’d be correct! It doesn’t take much to move me in that direction once I start thinking or writing about Larry. Most of the evenings that we spend together after dinner at home, often catching up on our correspondence to you guys, we do get dressed for real comfort. That’s an easy move from the kitchen to our office down the hall and the dresser drawers holding some of the silky PJ’s Lisa bought for me over the years. And yes they come in an assortment of sizes that used to fit my assortment of sizes, too. Larry fits into the smallest ones I own, but I’m getting very close to his size now, perhaps just the next size up. That makes me so fucking happy to know. I still have more to go before I can state we are the same size. I look forward to that day, too. You must know that I’ll blab all about that to you when I get there!

"Steps of 2 Foreigners" Vlog at YouTube

After getting comfortable we trek off westward bound to lounge properly in the family room. I’ve gotten him to watch some of my favorite YouTube videos on the big screen TV with me, nothing that he had ever done living with Ellen. One of our favorites to watch together now is “Steps of 2 foreigners.” It’s a Vlog (video blog) featuring  Bernardo a ‘muscled guy much like Larry’ from Brazil, and Adam who’s taller and not as muscled. (What I could look like one day.) Adam is from the States, both in their thirties and recently married to each other. We love these guys, and I love Adam’s artistic photography from around the world in their travel videos. If you love seeing real affectionate love between two committed men traveling, these guys are wonderful together. I don’t know if all the little kisses they give each other are scripted or happen for real, sometimes it seems to be for the camera. However, the side effect of watching them often has us doing pretty much the same. Larry has no problem showing his affection to me, and now I get little kisses all the time. Thanks Bernardo and Adam! 

Perhaps one of the reasons we’ve been attracted to them, besides their obvious great bodies, is they are very close to our sons ages. It’s something I think about often when looking at their videos. It’s a little strange thinking that we are old enough to be their dads not their horny neighbors. Or something like that. I never told Larry this feeling, so there you go babe, you learned something from me this time.

I guess that’s enough unsolicited YouTube promotion for them, huh. If any of you are fans of theirs, let me know. I’d love to know if you like their vlog; it would be cool to know that we like the same stuff you guys do. We also search for gay-themed movies on Amazon Prime to watch as well. It seems most appropriate now. I only like the ones with happy endings though.

MORE FAMILY ROOM TRIVA

We both sit on the family room loveseat most of the time watching TV unless we are writing on our iPads, then we are using the easy chairs with our legs elevated. I don’t know if you caught it in Larry’s last chapter, he mentioned that he “kinda” took care of the extra weight he was packing on his gut lately. Surprising how much you can gain by eating salty and sweet snack foods while watching TV, especially after a full dinner, too! 

Larry's abs are sneaking back up on him.

I can tell you honestly that I noticed his weight loss right away, easy to do when you spent your whole fucking life losing and gaining weight yourself. Larry hasn’t been this lean, well I don’t remember him ever being this lean, that’s how long. And an notable thing about him after his trimming down, he has these fucking emerging abs and they’re beginning to be quite noticeable when he’s stretched out and laying on my chest. I’ll never have fucking abs; I never worked that hard at developing them. And while I’m at it, I’ll probably never get a beautiful round ass like his too! More not working hard enough to get mine that way. However, ‘Mister I have emerging abs now’ let’s me run my hands all over his almost lumpy-bumpy belly now. Like he’d stop me anyway. I hate to admit this, since I’m a proponent of the ‘comfy dad bod without abdominal muscles’ kind of guy, it’s not so bad to touch; I could get used to it I guess. Although it’s not as soft as my hairy belly is for him to touch. (Or me. Haha.)

There’s something that I’m making a bigger thing out of it than Larry ever has. As I’ve shrunk down a few sizes, something I didn’t expect to happen, did and I’m not happy about it. I’m getting skin that has that ‘crepey skin’ look now in some areas of my body. I find it off-putting, and I can’t seem to get rid of it. Fortunately, Larry hasn’t given it any special attention and I’m grateful. It just seems like I can’t catch a break with my weight. I think I looked better heavy, at least I never saw my skin sag so much. Oh well, I’m headed back to the sexy part of my story.

Since the silky PJ’s are a bit looser on his smaller hips than mine, I find it quite easy to run my hand under the waistband and explore what’s been more than visible as the draping silky fabric hides nothing to a glancing eyeball. I wonder if it’s more like staring eyeball though. Actually, since I brought that up, I notice that my own junk shapes the fabric pretty damn nice too. Another reason I love not carrying so much weight around my middle anymore. Don’t tell anyone, seeing my smaller ab-free stomach now is a turn on for me, too. Okay, you can tell anybody, that’s not a bad secret! That picture below is not of me, but it gives you an idea of what my thinned down body tends to look like now. I still have some weight to drop but it’s nice not having a gut doing its best to hide my junk now. Haha.

Look who found 2 extra inches!

Seeing the image I picked out to reference my shrinking gut, made me flash on something a sports doctor I once had told me. In reference to dropping weight to get healthier, he said for every 30 pounds I lost I’d gain one inch of visible penis. Perhaps it was in slight reference to my ‘grower-dick’ shrinking away on him in the ball holding hernia portion of the examination, huh? Let’s see now, I’ve lost over 60 pounds since that visit years ago, could that be why I love seeing the longer floppy dick of mine in the mirror when I’m naked. Damn fucking right, I do! Maybe I could scrape up another 30 pounds on me to ditch for another inch of floppy dick. Okay, another secret gleefully exposed about me. However, if I lose another 30 pounds I’ll weigh less than Larry! That would be something different to ponder. I wonder if another visible inch of dick is worth the extra sagging skin though. You know that guy in the picture and I do share a common body type. Maybe I could have said it was me and got away with it too. Perhaps one day when I’m 100% fine using my own picture, I will. Only to be fair, I’d have to get Larry to agree to using one of his as well, knowing him lately, maybe I better rethink that statement. However, for now you’ll just have to settle for his red shirt picture with someone else’s head instead.

WHAT’S DEEPER THAN DEEP THOUGHTS?

I’ve been thinking a lot about us lately. What is it about him that transcends his physical beauty and his occasionally raunchy sense of humor with me. I bet you didn’t guess that about him, huh. Now you know. So, what is it. I thought for a long time, this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes I’d wake up during the night for one of my pee trips only to return to bed and lay awake just watching him softly snoring next to me. We have a king-sized bed, but we tend to sleep together in the middle. A lot of cuddling happens while it’s in the colder months, I can see that changing somewhat as it gets in the hotter months. Some of my deep thoughts got answered during these times watching over him. 

There’s this quiet inner strength I’ve discovered in him; forget his bulging muscles, or raunchy sexy sense of humor for now, although fun stuff about him, it’s not what I’ve been thinking about. It’s something that comes from within him that I know I’m in love with. In all the years I’ve known him, but especially since he’s moved in with me, I’ve become more aware of how he tends to go with his gut often, and so far it hasn’t failed him. Perhaps it’s a kind of passion that he’s developed with me. If you want a prime example, think about how he got Joe to where he is with us now. I remember well how he wanted to test his ability to just go shirtless and the fear of rejection in him that had to be quelled.

Since I have every plan on spending the rest of my life with him, I know very well physical beauty will be exchanged for well-earned facial creases and maybe bushy eyebrows and less hair atop our heads. I can only hope my belly will never return to days of old. And our pecs won’t turn into man-boobs. That we keep healthy and strong in passion for each other. I think we both have the material to make that happen. One day, perhaps one of us will need a helping hand from the other, and it will be there as always. That sums up what I see when I study his sleeping body next to mine. I don’t know how I existed for so many years never knowing how any of this would feel.

A LITTLE MORE MARCUS HISTORY

I’ve been married twice, my first marriage broke up over money, not really about sex at all. My children never understood why the family had to break up and I have no idea of what my first wife put into my kids heads. But it was enough to estrange them from me. We were living in another state at the time, I tried so hard to make a living by teaching high school, but the salary was low. I took on a second job in a grocery store but almost lost my teaching job at the high school when they found out. Back to being one paycheck away from homeless. I was a stubborn man, I would not take money as charity or expect my wife to take a job, she was the mother of my children and that’s a big responsibility. Perhaps that was my big mistake. However, the years of fighting over money was more than I could handle, and it started to show up at school. The only solution was headed to a dissolving of our marriage. I don’t know why I just didn’t give up my love of teaching, I did eventually anyway. However, the stress was more than I could take and that colored my decisions more than anything else.

Some of you that might remember about my family might wonder why I didn’t have a ton of money from my parents after they passed. True to them, they were totally into philanthropy and the idea that unearned money could destroy our future as their children. They arranged for our continuing education whatever it would take and gave everything else away. It was something they wrote into a will long before they thought it would ever happen. Did I get angry over their decision? You bet your ass I did. I was young, and in a helpless situation and I struck out at everything. In the years between my marriages and eventually financially rescued by Pops with his ultimate plans for me, I began to assemble the pieces of the puzzle and started on better road to adulthood. Since I seem to be on a nostalgia segment here, it led me to think about the time before I began dating or met Lisa at the University where I was working on my second master’s degree. There was some opportunity to settle some deep questions I had about myself and they were exceptionally deep and scary at that time in my life.

DISCOVERING MY SEXUAL IDENTITY 

I’ve written before that I did experiment with my sexuality with men and women before I decided to married Lisa. I can’t say definitively that any of my poor experimentations with men, drove me to bury my inner feelings and plow forward and marry conventionally once more. Because I don’t think that was true.  I honestly believed then, it was just poor stupid choices on my part that led to the failed experiences. Was there a chance the next time I reached out would be the one I was looking for? Why not. Was I into beating myself up over it any longer? Absolutely not! Honestly, I felt I was given a few signs that I was chasing after something that just wasn’t in the books for me. The feelings that resulted from the failed attempts left me with that I just wasn’t the kind of guy men were interested in pursuing. I started to look at myself to find everything that would be off putting. That led me to look seriously into my weight, joined Weight Watchers, lost some weight, and gained it all back, plus a few more pounds. I figured men were interested in lean muscled men, not guys who don’t fit that image. I wasn’t aware of ‘bears’ at the time, and I’m not sure that would have helped me feel any better. Once my weight climbed back up, I put my desires back into my fantasies exactly where they were before and belonged and moved on with my life. 

Now that I’m digging up these old feelings, I remember being proud of how long I could last during sex with a woman, wife or not. I was single for a few years between marriages and dated several women, right here in my current house. Lisa wasn’t my wife yet, so no cheating involved. Not yet! Back to lasting so long before I forget what I’m writing about. I was able to keep a rock-hard erection long enough to get my partner off a couple of times before I even tried to get off. Was I a convincing lover, you bet I was. Could I be interested in any of these women as long-term mates, no not really. I knew something about me they didn’t, and I didn’t like it one bit.

I’m almost embarrassed to state this, yes, I could fake orgasms just like females can. I controlled the condom, no woman ever said let me check the quantity of the contents for you okay. Sometimes, but not always, I had to finish the job later by myself, trust me I always did cum at one point, nothing wrong with my dick, just my head. If I wanted to really have an orgasm with the woman all I had to do was picture it was a guy with me, and man I could shoot off a rocket! I also talked about Lisa during our early years together sticking a finger up my butt to let me cum so she could go to sleep. Yes, it worked except it was not the finger I was imagining in there, it was a rock-hard cock and yes, I’d be off like a rocket. I never had a real cock in my ass yet, but it was sexy to think about. I could imagine me as a bottom easily.

Today, just being near Larry gets me hard. Well, sometimes not that hard, we are normal guys you know! Out the window goes my ‘shower-grower’ crap, what grower problem around him was he supposed to witness. I’m still an easy lay around him three years later. He’s not much better, thankfully. Like this is a problem? As Larry has stated himself, we don’t use labels for ourselves because it doesn’t make any sense to do so. We love each other, love being together, and we love sex with each other. We can’t imagine it any other way. Hopelessly in love with each other forever!

MORE OLD SHIT TO PONDER

Perhaps you’d like to know a little more about the home we have here together, other than what we’ve talked about already. There’s a history about the place that goes back before, Lisa, before Mark, even before Marcus that hasn’t been talked about yet. So, since I’m in the mood, I’ll do my best to cover this here. I hope it’s interesting for you and relevant to our journal blog. 

I believe I’ve made some reference in older chapters that this monster house was purchased by my Pops as an investment and entertainment palace for the firm. If I didn’t write that, consider it written now. I did not live here, not yet. In fact, after my divorce, I lived in a furnished, very open space one half-step above a studio apartment. As I’ve seen on HGTV, yes I love watching some of those shows, lately people are looking for less walls and more open living space. In my tiny apartment I was looking for more walls. Not the half-wall that almost hid half of my bed from view. However, the closet-sized bathroom did have walls, thanks someone very much! 

In that period of my life, I was back once again at the university and working part-time for Pops at the firm. My apartment was for eating, studying, sleeping, and dressing, I’m not sure about in which order but that’s about it. No expectations for entertaining and I had no intentions of dating any women at all. However, this was the time when I did a little experimenting with my sexuality with men in case you wondered. Somehow, the apartment wasn’t as embarrassing with guys there. I’d freak if I had to take any woman up to my place though. I guess you might say I wasn’t the best housekeeper, but I’d get it clean sooner or later.

In due time I earned and was awarded my MBA, and Pops was finally able to promote me to his Operations Officer. I was not that surprised; Pops was grooming me and dangling that carrot under my nose all along. I actually was looking forward to putting my knowledge to practical use. Suffice to say, I did well enough to hold the position for many years. However, Pops had something else up his sleeve for me, a gift of sorts. That gift was to move out of the tiny apartment and into a more suitable place for his COO but I never thought it was going to be the entertainment mansion in Granite Bay. Besides, it’s miles away from the Sacramento office. However, it was adjacent to Folsom Lake and in a very rural country-like area. So, there were some good points in its favor. But not the commute, I hate commutes.

As we’ve both written about the house that we live in, it’s exceptionally large and geared for entertaining. Not exactly a place that a single guy would choose to live, especially this single guy. It was my understanding at moving-in time, that I was going to be its live-in caretaker. Expenses, whatever necessary was covered by the firm, I was not expected to cover the enormous costs running a place like this. Also understood that occasionally the firm would be entertaining guests and that I would co-host with Pops. That led me to keep my ass to only a few rooms in the place. That was fine with me, why would I need so many rooms anyway. My complaints about commuting didn’t get lost in translation to Pops. He had the second smaller master bedroom turned into a satellite office for me so I wouldn’t always be commuting to the main office. (See, squeaky wheels get the grease.) Pops was quick to approve of anything I wanted for the house, probably to keep me here. I wanted a door to the outside put into the office. No way I wanted to walk through the house just to get outside. And of course, that meant a deck had to be built so I could sit and work outside if I wanted and access the pool as well. I didn’t think my requests were unreasonable at all, he got a baby-sitter for the mansion instead of closing it down as often as he was doing at the time. Done deal. Construction started immediately and I was done with my requests for now. It was all I really cared about at the time anyway.

I hear you wondering if I was happy at all living in the mansion by myself. No, I wasn’t at all. It’s really spooky living alone where most of the place is closed down. However, eventually it got easier by containing myself to just a few rooms. My office was wonderful with a door to the deck and pool. As the weather got warmer, I spent many hours in the pool. I convinced myself it was the quiet office where good uninterrupted thinking took place. And it was true. The landscaping wasn’t quite as filled-in as it is today, but there was more than enough privacy to strip naked to swim. I liked swimming that way, but it was practical, too. No wet clothes, only wet towels to dry in the sun. Any neighbors I had were not that close and I never heard anyone ever. That was good and bad, I’m a social kind of guy. Now I had to get out of the house just to meet anyone, like the checker at the grocery store. So, it was apparent that maybe I should get out and try to meet some people. At that point, men were out, bad karma. Women smell much better anyway. Hey, guys blew it for me at that point in time.

I did eventually date several woman after moving in here. And yes, after driving them to the estate and understanding this indeed was my place, getting them to spend the night with me, piece of cake! I’m a horny guy remember, always have been, and I played it straight for the majority of my life. I liked and needed sex as any man would. The only downside I can write about is I believed most of the women I ended up taking here began to think that they’d love to become the mistress of the estate for me. I was into their company and any sex that came my way, which I did often enough. There was no way in Hell that was I looking into finding another person to settle down with and marry. I hope you don’t think I was a jerk with any of them, I just was enjoying being single and having money to spend for the first time in my life. And maybe being a showoff, too. Maybe if you were in my shoes at the time, you’d be as well.

I may have mentioned in a past chapter, I’m not sure, that one of the woman that I brought here eventually was Lisa, a really pretty former classmate and study partner of mine at the university that I liked hanging with often. Lisa was no different in regard to the house, she’d walk around the place offering suggestions on how this piece of furniture would look good here and another piece there. I looked at the house as a work, eat, swim, occasionally fuck, and sleep place. I had no design or decorating ideas. The difference Lisa had over the other women was she knew the place was designed to entertain large groups of business people, not just intimate or family gatherings. Although, she had ideas for those intimate spaces as well. I was intrigued by her many layers of thinking, not just the sex which was occasionally good at the times. She understood being a power player in the business world. I knew from our early days at the university she was driven to succeed at almost any cost. I have this thing about women I’m attracted to, I like strong driven personalities. And if they are attractive, they can rope me in big time, just as Lisa was ultimately able to do.

Well, I guess you figured out by now, Lisa moved in with me before we were married. And she set out to do everything she suggested with the place. Of course, I paid for everything, my salary was finally worth calling a salary. But more importantly, the house was not mine, it belonged to Pops, there was no way anyone could lay claim to it in a divorce. Speaking of which the opposite was entering my mind, perhaps marriage was coming into view with Lisa. It seemed the right thing to do. We complimented each other and I thought I was in love once more.

POPS CHECKS IN ON MARRIAGES

Pops was told and he approved. I believe if he could have, he’d have Lisa working for the firm as well. Having a couple host parties, especially one that included Lisa who really knew how to pull off a successful event was exactly what Pops was looking for. Well goody for them. I thought I was doing a straight up job myself. Oh well. 

Years ago, but after Lisa moved in with me, I was called into the office in Sacramento for a personal chat with him. Great, a chance to get out of the house for a day. We talked about the house and his newest plans for it. I thought maybe we’d be moving out if he’s thinking of selling the place; really, it was a possibility. No, that wasn’t it at all. He was gifting the house to me as the owner, and proper place for his COO to call his own, and not just be the live-in caretaker any longer. However, this was not to be as a wedding gift for us. The house was only to be mine, and he had our legal department create prenup documents that detailed what was to be mine and not to become community property in a divorce. Pops was well aware of the downside of marriages and divorces and arranged the legal things into place for the firm. However, there was one request that he wished of me to grant, even though the house was mine, that the firm could still use the place for entertaining. Of course, I agreed, how could I not? Everything is always done by caterers for me, including the cleanup. All Lisa and I ever needed to do is act the part of the hosts. That’s the fun part.

I was more than concerned that a prenup about the house might not go that well with Lisa or any other woman I might have chosen to marry. Funny thing, when we did move forward with our marriage plans Lisa had some prenups of her own for me. She had accumulated considerable wealth and property that she wanted protected as well. Perhaps now that you know these facts, you can understand how the situation we are facing currently is working out so smoothly. We are not the average couple here; Larry and Ellen are though, and they will need to work through it differently. I’m going to be right at his side all the way and if he needs legal advice, it’s available. I will not be covering his story in my chapters, he’s quite capable of writing his own chapters and can pick and choose what he cares to write about.

STEP FURTHER BACK INTO TIME TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY LISA

BGR without a Lisa, unthinkable. I know some of you are wondering what’s the current situation between us: is it over for good, is there a chance of reconciliation, am I just a fucking idiot still dealing with her? Perhaps none of the above enters anyone’s mind. If you’ve been with us throughout the blog chapters, I’m sure you have your own ideas by now. So, let me help you along.

Lisa and I are very good friends, will this ever end? I’d be surprised more than anyone if it did. Lisa and Ellen have been a couple just like us; will that end one day? Perhaps, there’s a better chance that it could over a chance ours will end. I’m not trying to start anything with that statement, just trying to reinforce our own relationship, that’s all. 

Lisa and I had a friendship that wasn’t created in the bedroom that’s for fucking sure. As I stated above Lisa and I were study partners during our time at the university. It was Lisa who taught me how to be driven, to push myself, to believe that I could really become the person I ultimately became. Don’t take that to mean I couldn’t have reached that goal without her, but it sure was wonderful having a support team of one. I was very attracted to her mind, how she thought, and how driven she was. It didn’t hurt that she was a very attractive woman who always dressed like she was ready to step into the presidency role in a moment. 

Was she physically attracted to me at the time, she knew very little about me other than I was changing careers and already held a master’s degree in art education and was a former art teacher. None of which was that important to her, I almost believe it may have been considered ‘fluff stuff’ for her. I’m guessing here, she’s classy enough to hold her tongue if she thought that of me. But was she attracted sexually to me, not at first. Let’s say sex wasn’t the glue of our relationship during our university time. Don’t judge me okay? I had a goal and a coach in Pops to deal with. However, I’m also a horny man and I like sex so there was a time much later in our friendship when sex did entered the picture.

There was a time after being awarded our degrees that our daily study partner connection dropped off into hardly ever seeing each other any longer. We had our own goals and pursued them, but we did rely upon our friendship to have someone to phone to at times, convey our successes and disappointments as well. One thing became a top priority for each of us once we were well on our way to the positions we held in our companies. I’m almost sad, no strike that, angry that what I’m about to tell you actually happened. And it happened to both of us around the same time.

I’ll use my story and you can imagine it was echoed similarly with her as well. It was strongly suggested from Pops and others in our firm that my single womanizing status wasn’t the best image for the company. It wouldn’t hurt the ‘family’ image that was corporately desired if I had the same “little lady” at my side during the events that were held at the house I was occupying now. Actually, I wasn’t that angry at all at the time, I was lonely, and I was in an empty house that only amplified the emptiness of my life. The concept of having a different ‘lady friend’ at my side often, wasn’t exactly the image they had in mind. I understood the concept but wasn’t ready just yet to make anything permanent. However, if I really needed a “little lady,” and a marriage partner it should be one I respected as much as loved. 

Lisa and I discussed this thing I was facing, and it was during those talks that I found out she was in a way facing a similar situation. I was successful attracting ‘lady friends’ to be around and ask to join me whenever I needed them. Lisa wasn’t wired that way. She defied the requests and defended her position. Thankfully for her, she won the battles, but I was certain that she’d never win the war. 

Our ultimate marriage of convenience truly was based on need, not undying love, and sexual attraction. We certainly loved our friendship, tolerated our sexual disjunction since it was going to be a factor right from the start. Lisa and I were the most driven people you’d might ever know. Our goals were similar, except hers were stronger than mine. She will not stop until she is at the very top of her game. And she’s almost there. I do believe if it means moving to another state to get there she will. And that’s one reason I fear for Ellen if she is not willing to join her in the quest.

So, a couple more things I can add about Lisa. First of all, we are still on great terms, talk often and still like, maybe even love each other. I hope you don’t think that’s strange, it’s not for us. I told Lisa that she could take anything from the house that she wanted, especially some of her clothes still sitting in guest room closets. She took her vanity a long time ago; how could two women living in the same house not have two vanities anyway. As to the clothes, she’s facing Ellen’s closets filled already but they are working it out between themselves. Woman in their positions rarely want to be seen wearing the same clothes, right. Lisa said she’ll probably have some sent to consignment stores one day. Goody for us! As to other furniture, she said what would she do with any of it anyway. It was purchased to decorate the mansion and it belonged here. Another goody for us because I really don’t want to go shopping for furniture. And I’m sure Larry doesn’t as well. If Larry and I move to another place, I’d be happy to pick out furniture with him because it would be designed just for us. What we have here was designed for the space it occupies.

I hope I’ve been able to give you a better picture of my relationship with Lisa, our friendship, and how I see us moving forward. I cannot tell you factually that our years long relationship would have led me to finding and falling deeply in love with a wonderful man living next door. As to Lisa and Ellen becoming partners, no it was never in my mind at all. However, Lisa has proved she is capable of attaining whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I have a feeling Ellen has always been impressed with the drive Lisa had, and it could be quite intoxicating for her. The attraction they have for each other is very visible now, it might have been there for years. The attraction that Larry and I share might have made their attraction more visible to us. But then we are slow learners in this attraction game. Sad huh?

A FEW WORDS ABOUT JOE AND ALDO

Larry has been covering these guys in his postings for us. I really don’t want to step on that subject since he’s really getting into it for us. Just a comment about our grounds keeper Aldo, he’s cool, I don’t think there’s anything for Larry to worry about. Larry has determined there might be some disapproval coming from Aldo. I think it’s more about how Aldo is reacting to someone else living here, especially someone not Lisa. He’s a quiet person, keeps to himself and has been here for years. I’m sure if Larry applies the same attitude he had with Joe, he’ll find Aldo a very kind and caring man. However, I can appreciate Larry’s concern about screwing up any relationship Aldo has with me. I bet in time, Larry and Aldo will be comfortable in each other’s company. However, that said, those two men are nothing alike, whatsoever!

Now as to sexy Joe, that’s a different situation. First of all, I really don’t think I’m that jealous or concerned there will be anything that comes from their friendship. I couldn’t be happier that Larry has made a good friend with Joe. Joe is one of those guys anyone would be happy to have as a friend, and I mean that. I’ve known him for more years than I’ve known Mark, let alone him as Larry. Joe was in his 20’s when we met and so happy to get the job of handling my pool and making me happy with his service. I’ve kept him on weekly year around and recommended him to others that compliment how nice my pool looks. If you were to swim here, you’d never have smelly itchy skin upon leaving the pool. Joe is a genius with pool chemicals. I know how bad the pool was under my control. Sad! 

Larry has mentioned to me as well in his writing that the last thing he wants Joe to think is he wants something sexual. I don’t think that would go through Joe’s head at all. He’s just one of those happy dudes you love to run into once in a while. I bet he caught Larry being a little cautious during their first coffee chats. I just have that feeling, and I think Joe would have gone out of his way to help Larry get comfortable and safe.

Now, I’ve heard from Larry some of the guys writing him are looking forward to a threesome with all of us one day. Okay, I get it, that could result in some really sexy horny shit to write about. It got me to thinking how I’d handle seeing him get it on with Joe. At this point, I think I’d feel strange. I know how much we mean to each other, seeing him having some kind of sex without me, oh, I don’t think so. I’d hope that Larry would feel the same if it was me and Joe instead. It would be like cheating, like we haven’t a history of that with our wives, huh. Like I said, a really strange situation to deal with. Could this happen years down the road, perhaps if it was something we both wanted I guess. 

I cannot tell you truthfully that seeing Joe naked in the pool with us or his naked cleaning of the pool afterwards isn’t a turn-on for me, because it is. Who wouldn’t be turned on by that? Larry was the one that got this to happen, I never even thought about any of that in all the years I’ve known Joe. It was the service relationship we had together that kept it to just talking. I’ve watched Joe achieve adulthood over the years, he was so young when he started with me. I’m happy to let Larry cover this and I’m sorry if I stepped on his story talking about him here. I just know that Larry is very concerned that he might have given him the impression that he wants more. I don’t think that’s it at all. Now I’ll zip up on this. 

LARRY SHOULD SOON BE RECONNECTED WITH HIS SON

The reconnection news we all read about in Larry’s last chapter is very heartwarming for me, and for few of you too. Of course, Larry as well. I’m so looking forward to hearing how it goes for them, but I will be back to being alone for a while. Okay, so maybe I’m a little clingy? We’ve been living and eating together for a long time now and I’m used to having his company, plus his snuggling up at night. 

However, what he will get from it will be amazing, I just know it will. He can’t wait for the right time to go camping with his son. From what I gather, this might be the first and only time for them. Now as mature adults, it ought to be a wonderful experience for both of them. I almost wish I could be the fly on the tent wall to witness it first-hand. (It’s about the only way you’ll get me inside a tent! I am claustrophobic especially in small, confined tent-like spaces.) I’m sure we will all get the full story after it happens.

I hope I get to meet his son once again and spend a little time with him, too. I think he should witness how happy we are together and perhaps; he’ll accept me as his father’s new mate. Husband might be pushing it right now.

ANOTHER DECADE IS BARRELING ON DOWN TO ME

I’m barreling on down to my next birthday month coming in June. I’m leaving my fifties behind me and headed to sixty! Now talk about strange feelings, the naked Joe story is nowhere in the same league! Yes, it’s been on my mind often lately. I don’t know how I’ll feel about being sixty-something yet. I was thinking about my babe, who else, huh? We met in our forties, I was at the end of them and he in the middle. Larry is one of those guys who looks a lot younger than his years. More than likely it’s his blonde looks, maybe it was just my imagination. I liked that we were similar in age until I turned fifty and he was still in his mid-forties. Fortunately, age makes no difference to him, and before long I got over it. When he hit fifty, I was ecstatic, my best friend sounded closer to my age. Yes I know stupid when I hear it! I think I was concerned that the four-and-a-half-year age difference was ultimately going to be a problem for him. More stupid I know. So here I am again, the fifty will now be sixty. You’d think I’d be over the non-problem, but I think about it at times. Yes more stupid. And I’m fairly certain when seventy shows up, it will pop into my head once again. So, Larry please fix this for me, help me get over stupid, okay?

I think I’m out of stories to write about for now. I hope this makes up for not writing a chapter for a while. I’m sure Larry will have a whole bunch of new stuff to write about next time. I love you guys for reading and sticking with us for three years. Maybe we will both run out of stuff to write about one day, as all good things do come to an end.

Be safe and be happy.

Marcus

Here is a link to my CH 83 about Larry’s son and camping trip:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2022/04/ch-83-marcus.html#more