CH 83: Old Lonesome Marcus Yeah Don't Worry Though

 Hi guys, it’s Marcus again this time for a good reason.

Before I get to writing my tale this month, I better own up to something I did recently responding to Larry’s comments to me. He called me out for not coming clean with my first name since he put both his first and last names out there some time ago. It’s really not that big a thing so I’ll start out with that in case you haven’t read my comments to Larry.

The reason I use Marcus exclusively here is pretty straight forward, Marcus is 'out' to you guys, whereas the guy with my real first name has not been out; he’s as closeted as they get but trying to work on that. As regular readers of our journal blog know, Larry is the name I used to hide my best friends real first name. I’ve only known him as Mark for several years most of which were so much fun, and then a couple of later years that weren’t so much fun. After Mark became aware of the journal and how I wrote about him, he decided that Larry was more fun to be around me and decided that I should refer to him by that name when we were together. He also understood the reason why I chose not to use my real first name. It became a non-issue for us.

So, what the fuck is the deal with hiding it anyway? I did tell a couple of guys my real name in an email some time ago, just not here in the journal. Well today I’m about to change that for you if you really care to know. It’s only taken three years to get me to do this. At least I’ll tell you the name I choose to go by, not my proper full name though; that’s not a name that I like using with friends, just business. I’m known by the nickname 'Al.' See that wasn’t so hard to tell you, huh. Al has been my nickname for a lot of years, it’s a fine name, easy to spell, and not hard to remember. But Al has never felt free to become the guy living in my head. Maybe it’s embarrassing for me to admit I’m very attracted to some guys, or maybe I might disappoint my family or associates if they ever find out that I was just playing the straight guy for them. Just know it’s still uncomfortable for me to think about coming out to my associates and friends. But when I’m writing as Marcus I don’t give a flying-fuck about that. As Marcus I get to be the man I’ve been inside for longer than I could possibly remember. Maybe I just need to move far away from anyone I know, except Larry of course, so I can ditch old Al for good.

It’s easy to say that Marcus can get away with anything he wants to say or do, but it took time to get him like that in the journal, especially the first 30 or so chapters. I was flying blind in those chapters; Mark never knew about them, and he was in all of them. I had to do a lot of surmising that I wrote was what he really felt. I guess I wasn’t too far off. But it was a lot easier to write the rest of the chapters after he knew about them. But it was evident that the two guys I was writing about had the balls needed to come out to each other on that trip, and as Marcus I was finally a free man and I’ll be damned if I’ll ever let 'Al' stop me. That’s why you never heard much from the guy known as “Al” in the journal.

I suspect now that I put my real first name out there, it will be used at times. I bet Larry will, probably not so much by me though. I identify with Marcus more now after being him for three years. I do tire of being two guys, and I look forward to the day when I can forget 'Al' ever existed. But I’m not going to hold my breath though. There’s a lot to be done before 'Al' can just fade away into the sunset. I hope I don’t need to wait for a long time before this will happen though.

NOW FOR SOMETHING FAR MORE INTERESTING TO READ

I’m a little more than concerned that I could step all over Larry’s next chapter topic if I’m not careful with what I say, but I’ll do my best to make sure he gets the whole story out to you in his next posting. If you remember from Larry’s Chapter 19, that his long-estranged son will be visiting him, and they have plans on going on a camping trip together. Well that’s happening right now. Like really, RIGHT NOW. It happened before anything could be posted by either of us first. I guess you can figure that’s why I’m writing again instead of letting him write our next chapter. We are trying to switch off the writing now that’s he loving the opportunity to put his two cents into the blog for us. His next chapter ought to be worth looking forward to, I know I can’t wait. However, I’ll do my best not to spoil his biggest story yet.

When Larry got the text from his kid that he could come for a visit now, the reality hit home, this was going to happen for real now, not just a possible pipe dream for the future. Larry asked me if I’d go to the Sacramento International Airport with him to pick up his son Friday. It was the Friday before Easter Sunday, and judging on how I was asked, I’m certain that the poor guy was between excited and terrified and just needed me to be there for him. Absolutely, I’d go with him, otherwise why are we together.

Since I’m not a fan of driving his big ass truck, I offered to use my car instead. Thankfully, the scheduled flight arrived on time and picking up passengers from the new terminal is a breeze; so, we were in and out of the airport in a very short time. We never got out of the car, oh, strike that, I never got out of the car, Larry jumped out to greet his son and help stow the luggage in the rear. Not that he had that much, a backpack and small suitcase was it. It was a late Friday evening arrival with not the best lighting available for me to check him out, so I had to wait until we got home to see how the years have treated him since the last time we met. Thinking about that now, it’s been a good several years since I’ve seen either of his kids. I was just naturally curious to see if he had grown into a more mature looking Mark. 

His son sat behind me in the rear seat so he could face his dad in the shotgun seat while they talked. Personally, I thought that was very thoughtful of him, he could have easily sat behind his dad. Every so often I got a glimpse of him in my rear-view mirror, but still not enough to see much. I figured I’ll be doing all the greeting at home. Earlier, Larry and I had talked about where his son was to stay while here, I figured why not offer him the room Lisa set up for Mark a long time ago. The bed is made and never used yet. We agreed, now let’s see what we will face from Ellen when she finds out he’s coming out for a visit with us. She could reasonably expect him to stay with her and Lisa. One thing we didn’t need to sweat over, there was no reason to hide that his dad and I sleep together. Thanks to blabber-mouth Ellen, he’s well aware of that. I guess we could consider that a blessing, something we won’t need to try and hide. I can’t speak for Larry if he thought it was a blessing or not, but considering the balls he’s been packing lately, I bet he feels like me. If not, he’ll let us know soon enough.

On the drive home, which was about 40 minutes I guess, he told his dad that part of this visit is to see his mom as well, but he was hoping to stay with us if he could. Well, that was super nice to hear, and that covers the subject of whether or not Ellen knew of the pending visit. His son’s visit is a very important milestone for my babe, and I bet wanting to stay with us went straight to his heart. More than likely that was case, because I was the one to tell him we had hoped he felt that way. No question that Larry was more than a little choked up to respond at the time. I know how excited he has been ever since their phone call a while ago. If it was me in his shoes, it would have pinched myself to see if I was dreaming or not.

Any conversation was only between the two of them for the majority of the trip home and into our garage. I was happy just to hear them talk and laugh, it was heart warming for me, and yes, for once I kept my big mouth shut. Even I have a hard time believing that about me, but it’s true. In the garage before we entered the house, I got to at least shake his hand and welcome him to our home. No hugs, I didn’t think that was appropriate yet. Hopefully, we will get to that point one day, moreover, this visit is not supposed to be about me.

After we got inside, Larry showed him the way to the bedroom he was to use and drop off his luggage. I’m sure he also showed him where to find the bathroom he could use as well. Eventually we all met back in the kitchen where I asked him if he’d like something to eat or drink, at least some coffee. That was it, he only wanted coffee. He was a little quiet but very respectful, or maybe shy in what could have been an awkward situation for him. However, he did come right out an asked me if I preferred to be called "Al" or “Marcus”, as his dad told him about the name choices. He’s known me as 'Al' in the past, I told him it was up to him, whatever he chose, I didn’t care.

You probably are wondering when I’m going to let you know what his kid looks like, huh. Perhaps Larry won’t be upset with me if I tell you what I think. I guess I’ll find out soon enough after he reads this chapter. Let’s put it this way, the “acorn didn’t fall far from the oak tree.” Larry wrote that his kid “kinda” looked more like him than his mom’s side of the family, and he was right. One look at him and there’s no denying that he’s Larry’s kid, and pretty good looking one, too. He’s taller than both of us, so I’m not the tallest guy around here right now, I like being taller! (Talk about the ego from a guy who’s only 5’10” huh.) He’s got a good four inches over his dad’s head, but Larry is the only guy with enviable muscles here. His son is leaner than either of us, not that he’s super-thin though, maybe it’s his height that makes him look that way. He inherited Larry’s blonde hair only it’s a darker blonde color but it’s curly just like his dad. He’s clean shaven though, now I have an idea of what Larry might look like without his beard. (I can’t even imagine Larry without a beard, I hope his kid doesn’t give him the idea.)

Apparently the love of coffee genetically connects him with his dad, because we finished off a big pot of coffee and I considered making another pot. I put out some cookies that we had in the pantry, he said he wasn’t hungry for a dinner, but cookies go with coffee, right. Maybe he was a little hungrier that he thought though because with the help of his dad they finished off the bag of Oreo cookies. I had a few more than my diet allowed too. I bet he might have been a bit embarrassed to ask for food though. Hindsight, I should have made a dinner for him earlier and just heated it up later, oh well. Well to be fair to us, we didn’t have a lot of advance notice about the timing of the visit.

The coffee and cookie conversation gave him the time to tell us that he was planning on spending Easter Sunday with his mom and of course, my Lisa. She had planned a nice Easter dinner at home for him. That wasn’t hard to deal with, but somehow she seemed to have more advanced notice of the visit than we had. Then I thought to myself that Ellen would have had a shit fit if she found out he was visiting here and didn’t spend time with her, especially on an Easter Sunday. After telling us about the dinner at his mom’s house, he was quick to let us know that he’d be back here to spend Easter Sunday evening with us and he definitely would crash here with us, not at his mom’s house.

I’m honoring Larry’s decision not to mention either of his kid’s name in the blog so I’m working around that while writing about him. I enjoyed any conversation we had together, and I thought he was very respectful of me when he could have gone ballistic on me for breaking up his parents. I don’t see me in that role, but I guess if the two of them get to that subject, Larry will set him straight on that. After a couple of hours chatting in the kitchen, his son said it was late and he was getting tired and wanted to be excused to go to bed if we didn’t mine. See, I told you he was very polite. Larry gave him some direction on how to get to his room, not a bad idea since you can get turned around trying to navigate around this place.

After he was off to his room, Larry and I stayed in the kitchen a little longer, perhaps longer than we needed. I had the feeling it was just in case his kid came back out for something, he wanted to be there for him. Like I said, a feeling. I think the kid was seriously tired, and we didn’t see him again until the morning. 

As we sat waiting for a possible return to the kitchen by his kid, there was this afterglow that needed to wear off from a very successful if not short visit so far. We had little to say at the time, it was a delight to just sit and look at each other and smile. When it was safe that we were now alone we got into a standing hug session for a while. I could tell that was coming just from looking into my babe’s eyes, we both needed that, for me it was because I was so happy for him. Actually, we hardly broke the hold on each other as we headed for our own bedroom. As we walked through the house, Larry softly stated, “This is working out pretty damn good, huh?” I didn’t need to answer, I just stopped walking and gave him a kiss that said it all. Of course this was working out okay, it’s going to be a great visit for them.

I’d like to tell right here after a kiss that was way better than a peck on the lips, that there was this huge horn fest in bed once the double doors to our bedroom were closed. As I just said, I’d like to tell you something super horny took place, but the truth was all that happened was a night of snuggling together as tightly as could be. I think we were super-glued together for hours that night, that is until my pee wanted out badly. But I returned the favor and snuggled up against him until I fell back to sleep. (Since this chapter or any chapter we write is written and edited over a period of days, and hopefully I’m not spoiling this chapter’s content for you, maybe we should have gone for the all-night hot sex instead.)

OH LONESOME ME!

(I decided upon writing this chapter, that I should record my days waiting for the camping trip to end and my sweet buddy was home again. I might change my mind later, but I could sense I was going to overreact with him gone; I had that feeling down in my bones. So, expect to see the daily entries after this section.)

My heading should alert you that the camping trip is on right now, and I’m alone in this big place once again. I should have plenty of practice living here alone, even when Lisa was living here, I worked from home all by myself. Most of the time, when she got back home from work it was off to soak in the tub to rid herself from the stress of the day. If we didn’t go out to eat she’d have a quick dinner with me and then maybe a little TV time together, that is, if she didn’t bring home some work to do before bedtime. 

As I stated, I have lots of practice being alone in this house. But now I have lots of practice being a part of a loving couple and I’m not alone any more. I don’t like being alone now. I want my partner here with me, and I know I’m acting like a spoiled child right now, I like being a spoiled child, too. I know the difference between the two experiences and am feeling this awful emptiness in my gut right now. I said I’m acting like a spoiled child, at least what I think a spoiled child would feel like in this situation, and as an adult, I’m sorry that I feel that way. Talk about fucking weird, huh. I’m so happy my babe is finally getting a chance to be the dad he didn’t know how to be. I want nothing more than that for him, but it doesn’t feel good being separated right now even if it’s only for a few days. I don’t know exactly how long they will be gone; it could be several days yet. I thought this was only going to be a weekend thing, not anything longer. 

To be perfectly honest with you, I’ve been walking-the-fence between keeping my hands off my dick until he comes back home or wanting to see how many times I can jack-off in a row. I’m horny, I’m lonely, I’m frustrated, and I’m fucking spoiled. I’m Marcus right now not Al and sex for us is nothing like it was for either of us as married guys. Now it can happen at any time of the day or night. Before Larry was living with me, I often beat off my frustrations and kept my dick in good health while living with Lisa. Oh, the joy [sarcasm] of living with frustrations like this! 

I was thinking, dangerous I know, that If I behave myself, I might last a whole 15 seconds before my dick explodes when Larry touches it, I can live with that I guess. Fuck, I want to scream right now. Every time my hand gets close to my crotch I hear this soft little voice in my ear, “uh uh, don’t you do that, and you know why.” And then another louder voice says, “hey, you’re a normal horny man, go for it, you deserve it, besides it could be days before you see him again. And what if his kid hangs around us for days, you’ll need to wait forever before you get off again. See you need to jack off right now.” Did you notice how much more the louder voice had to say to get his point across? You know that louder voice is making a whole lot of sense right now, while the other softer voice says can you imagine the fucking mind-blowing sex you’ll get after waiting for him to come back home. I bet you think I’m going to tell you which voice won, but I’m not. If you think you know me by now you can figure out which one voice won, it ought to be easy breezy for you. Haha. Really, do you actually need me to tell you and spoil the ending?

LET’S GET OFF THE HORNY SHIT OR I’LL NEVER FINISH THIS THING

I can’t wait to hear everything about the time they are having together, I’ll probably get to hear lots of stuff from both of them when they get back. Hopefully, the really good stuff after his son leaves for home. And it’s a good bet even more stuff when Larry writes about it for the journal. He better leave nothing out too. 

At least with them both out of here I’m getting to write this chapter for you. I figure I’m setting him up for the best chapter yet from him. So, with that said, I better get off the subject or I’ll be blamed for taking the thunder out of his story for the journal. I think I’ve been respectful of that need though. Hopefully.

That’s easier said than done though. I can’t get my head out of the situation I’m in right now. At least I know exactly how much I need him in my life. I hope he has the same feeling away from me, but I don’t expect much when he’s reconnecting with his son during this trip. Part of me wishes I was there too, hopefully to help with the reconnection, not just as the horny partner who hates separation anxiety. 

I needed to pull myself out of this quagmire that I’m in at this time, so I planned a trip away from the house and off to find what I need to pull off the theater room we are creating. I need to find the drapes I need or find someone to make them for us, plus the carpeting, and lighting sconces for the walls. Larry completed the platforms needed and the electrical work has been done, now it’s on my back to pull-off the design ideas I’ve been working with. I fully expected to drag Larry around with me picking out what to buy. And I know he won’t complain since he gets a kick out of spending time with me away from the house. I also know he has given me full control of the design of the room. But I love getting his feedback, too. So, I’m going to locate where to find what I need in the room but delay the buying decision until he’s back home with me. 

Larry did write that I’m slow or deliberate making my choices for things like this; I figure if I have to live with my decisions, they better be good decisions. To be more accurate I want Larry to be a part of all the decisions I make now. He is my partner for life, and I want that to mean something. I’m not going to force anything on him because I want it no matter what. That’s not really me anyway, but if he gives me Carte Blanche for everything I want, it could end up that way. I hope I communicate this to him in a way that he understands how important it is for me to be an equal partner. See I almost forgot I was horny writing this part, but the horny came back again. Just thinking about him gets me horny, even if it’s just shopping, I’m bad, huh. How did I not know this was going to be Hell Week! So, I think it’s time to start writing the daily grief I’m about to go through this week.

LARRY AND HIS SON WILL BE GONE FOR DAYS CAMPING

It’s day one alone, Monday and viewing the headline I just wrote is fucking depressing for me! I’m so happy and sad at the same time. Trust me I’m trying my best to be happy for him, and truly I am, sort of I guess. I should have figured it would be a bitch being alone in this place again. I’m going to see them off with a big smile on my face and good wishes, but I know I’ll have a big ache in the pit of my stomach. Larry had already hitched up his boat trailer to his truck and I can see he loaded the rear of the truck with the camping gear he owns. 

I made sandwiches for their trip to the coast if that’s still the plan. I brought the bag of sandwiches and chips out to the truck and waited for them to leave. Of course I want them to reconnect and have the time of their lives, who wouldn’t. But as they drove off, I just stood there and watched until his truck was no longer in view. And I stood there like I was glued to the driveway. Perhaps they’ll return for something they forgot, maybe. I can’t take a chance that I’ll miss them, right. Yes, I waited, and they didn’t come back, of course they didn’t, that was just a silly thought. Eventually, I knew I should return to the house and do something, anything other than stand at the end of the driveway like a goof.

I tried to be upbeat and hummed a little tune in my head as I headed back to the kitchen to clean up what I didn’t have time to do before they left. Well that took only a few minutes and then I tried to figure what I could do to pass the time for a while. Pass the time for a while? Fuck they will be gone for a lot longer than a while! I decided to take a walk down the hallway to our office, the place that hasn’t seen a lot of work done there for some time now. I figured there’d be something that needed dusting or straightening or just fucking find something that needed to be done. Hey, we are a couple of guys, I bet it really could use a little straightening or something. Nothing. We were pretty good about putting stuff away when we stopped working. I know, I’ll look into the closet and organize the shirts and pants hanging in there. Yup, that needed to be done, except it only took about 15 minutes. Then I looked in the office bathroom, surely it will need some cleaning. It did, and again only a few minutes were needed. This is getting frustrating. Surely there’s something I need to do. I know, go make a pot of coffee and sit and think about it. Oh that was a great idea I had! Time to think about being alone with nothing to do until they come back.

While I was waiting for the coffee to brew, I walked over the the pantry, I remember Larry writing that it was a little overstuffed with groceries and needed some help. Good, a great idea, I can do that today. Right after I finish drinking the pot of coffee, pee a lot and stop feeling sorry for myself. Well one thing for sure, Larry wasn’t lying about the pantry, hell our stuff had stuff! This is going to take a lot of organizing and surely most of the day. And it did thankfully. Only problem I could see, there’s not an inch of shelf space for one more can or box. So we better cool the shopping trips to the grocery store! Especially Costco, maybe we don’t need full cases of tomato sauce or can beans. Or all the twin-wrapped items sitting on the floor waiting shelf space to open up. I think we could open and operate a small bistro in our kitchen with the stash in the pantry. I’m almost afraid to look in the freezer after what he wrote last time. Maybe I will tomorrow.

You want to know something funny, after all the straightening up and new organization for the pantry, I couldn’t come up with an idea for my own dinner that night! But I did think that Larry would have come up with something now that he’s a semi-pro in the kitchen. I solved the problem, and ordered Chinese take out from one of our favorite restaurants in Granite Bay. It’s the Asian Blossom on Douglas Boulevard it’s an awesome Asian restaurant and Larry’s favorite. We love eating there now that we get out of the house more often. Now I’m thinking about him again.

After dinner and clean up, I figured I catch up on some of the YouTube video blogs I like to watch on the big TV screen. And of course I fell asleep watching some of them, I could tell I slept because when I would wake up I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was watching at all. Big change that first night not snuggling up together on the loveseat in the family room. I grabbed a blanket throw and wrapped up in it and made believe it was him. It must have worked for a while otherwise I’d wouldn’t have taken the second snooze I woke up from. So, I gave up and headed for the bedroom. That’s a long walk down the hallway as well and I realized just how much I enjoy going to bed with him. It’s the going to bed with someone that I missed. Lisa was always off to her bed routine long before me. Besides she had the early morning commute that necessitated the early to bed and I better not disturb her sleep if I didn’t want an old grouch to sleep beside. 

Larry changed my bedtime routine for the better. It’s a good bet he and Ellen went to bed together during the good years they had. Larry would just take my hand and tell me it was time to head for the bedroom. Of course it didn’t always mean to go to sleep. Haha. But that first night alone meant no playtime, no fun in the glass shower room, just go to bed alone. Man, I sure have become a needy guy since he moved in with me! I did the worst thing ever that night, I took my iPad to bed with me and decided to read a couple of his chapters from the journal. I mostly promised myself to be hands off my dick while he was gone but guess what my free hand was doing while reading his chapters. Talk about mindless activity! Well I caught myself in time and stopped before I got to the place where I’d drop a load. I’m very sure they call that “edging.” That is not very cool trick at all! That’s too close to painful, I better find something for both hands to do next time, and not in the vicinity of my junk too! 

I put the iPad on my side table after two chapters read, enough already. I should have figured that reading it would get me horny, but horny is what we do very well together. But I do remember as I had Alexa turn off the lights and I turned onto my sleeping side; my hand found my dick to hold as I drifted off to sleep. Usually it’s Larry’s hand doing the holding, unless I’m spooning him, and I get my turn with his. I did get to sleep though until it was pee time a couple of times that night. That’s usual for me. Coming back to an empty bed was more than a little sad, I love looking at his sleeping body when I come back to bed. Most of the time I’d pull the cover off a bit to get a better look and then I’d carefully put the cover back so as to not awaken him. Unless I was super horny then I didn’t care if I woke him up. Don’t feel sorry for him, he’s as horny as me or worse, all he needs to know is that I’m that way and he’s on board. I hope that never changes as we grow older together.

At about 5:00am I woke for my second pee break, but I couldn’t go back to sleep at all. So I put on some sweats and headed to the kitchen. The only problem, I kind of maxed out on coffee last night so I made a pot of tea instead. Normally we are still in bed at this time, so the heat is off, I hadn’t realized how cold it gets when the heat is off at this early in the morning. No problem, “Alexa” set the heat to 72 degrees. She’s very accommodating you know. I was about to head back to bed until it got warmer, but I stuck it out and shivered a little bit. Now I need to face day two without my life partner and I haven’t worked out a plan for the day yet. It’s hard thinking when your body is shivering, I didn’t know that. 

I figured I’d take a shower after some breakfast of buttered toast and tea. No plans on exactly when, but not in the glass brick shower room, no sir, I don’t need to be thinking about him while I’m in there. I’ll use the office shower which is too small for two guys together. Perfect yet, it was where I had my best fantasy jerking sessions long before we got together as we are now. Yup, I may have to rethink where I’ll shower while he’s gone. There are more full bathrooms in the house, but do I want to mess them up and need to clean them. Nope, no way. I’ll use the office shower and make it a quick one. But I’m now wondering if I really will be capable of keeping my hands off my dick while he’s gone. I’d like to re-experience those days when we had to wait for what seemed like an eternity for the next time we had the opportunity to have sex. It’s only day two and I should be able to survive at least two days without sex! I better find something to do to get my mind off of it though.

ITS POOL SERVICE DAY TODAY

It’s day two, Tuesday and it’s Joe’s pool service day today. I don’t know if Larry ever told him about his plans, but I thought if I keep an eye out on the backyard maybe I’ll see Joe and have him in for coffee. I know he’d be looking for Larry otherwise. Those two are a trip to read about for me. I’m not in the least bit worried about them. Larry would have a coronary if Joe came on to him. I have to give Joe some props, he’s been there for Larry answering his questions and being his good friend. I bet the transition that Mark went through becoming Larry had some bumps in the road. Joe at least wasn’t one of those bumps. He’s a really cool guy and I’m happy he’s been a friend and the best pool man around.

Joe did know about Larry’s plans but didn’t know when it was going to happen. I filled him in with everything except how fucking horny I’m going to be for days. I figured I can keep that to myself, man I hope I do that, too. No worries, I actually got back to talking to Joe like I have been for years. Brought up his daughters and what they have been up to in school and some talk about Covid and going back to school. I had a plan, just don’t talk about Larry too much, besides I know so little about their plans other than a camping trip and now I know he brought his boat along. Anyway, as to Joe, just some nice chitchat and coffee before he headed out to service the pool. He asked if we have been swimming yet since he turned on the solar for us recently. Actually, I forgot about that, but it hasn’t been very warm out yet. I’ll need to start checking the pool temperature though, we might be swimming very soon now.

After Joe left me in the kitchen, he knows the way out through our office. No need to see him out, he has been coming in and out of that door for some time now. I thought maybe I should start writing in the journal everyday while he’s gone, somewhat like Larry did while I was recuperating from my total knee surgery. Now if I’m super horny, which I am, I can write about it, maybe that will work. Now that’s about the stupidest idea I’ve had yet! Like writing is going to make me less horny. Sad huh? Well I will write everyday, and I guess we will all know by the end of the chapter how successful I was. Right now, I’m not giving me very good odds. I can think of several good reasons not to hold off until whenever he gets back. I could justify an occasional jacking session, I’m sure it would be healthier than not, right. I’m guessing you are agreeing with me right now, but I’ll hold off for a while longer. But I don’t want one of those adolescent wet dreams tonight, that happens, and I’ll do a lot of rethinking about this situation.

I hope you realize this problem is happening in real time for me, I’m not writing about something that happened a few days ago. Since this whole chapter will be written over a period of time though, that could be the case eventually, but not right now! I’m putting this iPad away for a while; got a shower to take and get dressed for real. Maybe I’ll go out and do something to take my mind of this for a while. I won’t do anything stupid if I’m out and about. That should help me. I have no Idea what I’ll write next, so we will find out together. Signing off for the day, more again tomorrow.

I’M BACK WRITING AGAIN! THIS IS THE THIRD DAY NOW

It’s day three, Wednesday and you’ll be proud of me, or think I’m a fucking idiot, either way it was hands off dick and so far so good. Well when I say hands off dick, I hope you know what I mean; however, in bed I took my chances and held the poor lonely thing as I drifted off to sleep. It’s a habit we both help each other with nightly. Just feels nice when he holds me like that. But we do switch off since we both love that feeling. I just made believe it was him holding my dick and I did my best to believe that too. I’ll need to work on that if I’m going to make it through the week though.

I thought I’d hang in bed after my 5:00am pee thing, but that would be dangerous. We get some of our best sweat sessions after a night of rest. Actually Larry has been duplicating my early morning pee runs now for a while, so a perfect time to do what comes to mind for both of us, and that hasn’t been going back to sleep until we wear ourselves out. As I stated, dangerous to hang back in bed, I know what we do quite often. So, I got my ass out of bed and into the same sweats I used yesterday, like who’s going to notice, right. I’ll get my shower after breakfast and then can decide my day afterwards.

So, I headed to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee, had some Ezekiel Bread for toast, I love that stuff, it’s the only bread the Noom guys think is good enough for a couple of slices. I have to buy that in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store. I just repackage the bread into two slice freezer baggies: no sticking together that way. I know I’m rambling, but I don’t know what to do yet. I could make a more complete breakfast, but I’m used to cooking for two now. Or at least eating whatever Larry makes for breakfast. That’s the meal he says is the most important one for the day, and don’t skimp on it, too. Whatever you say babe, as long as you’re making it I’ll eat it. But not today. I think I’ll stick with toast and coffee. And keep writing in my journal. At least I’ll have a chapter to post when he gets back home.

GREAT NEWS, WONDERFUL NEWS TOO

I got a FaceTime call from Larry this morning while I was in the bathroom getting ready for my shower. Yahoo! Man did I ever need that, apparently he did too. I would have been happy to just stare at his gorgeous face on my iPhone but talking was what he wanted more. Well of course, me too. He didn’t want to take time away from his son but wanted to fill me in on what they decided to do and why he took his boat along. I thought they were going to head south to the Central Coast, Pismo Beach, or Morrow Bay. They are a lot closer, he decided to go to Rollins Lake and camp out there and go boating as well. I know the area well since Larry took all four of us boating there a few times over the years. Never camping, just boating.

He said they are both having a great time and he’ll fill me in when they come back home. As to the date it seems more up to his son, right now there’s no hurry to get back home. Good for them, sucky for me. But that’s okay, I’m going to have one very horny dude one day soon all over my ass and wherever else he wants to roam. Man it was so nice seeing him and then he flipped the camera to the area where his son was sitting on a rock with a fishing pole and totally unaware of the currant phone call. That was so cool to see, I am so happy for him. I hope one day we will all be able to do something like that together. I have this feeling it will happen, but then I’m an incurable optimist. Just listening to Larry talking gave me the feeling, everything is going to plan and a start of something really great for him. I couldn’t be happier, oh I know how I could be happier, but that would mean a trip to the lake where I don’t belong right now.

FaceTime (DickTime) Yay!

Of course Larry and I spent some time talking about how we missed each other and got into some horny dialogue I’m not going to repeat here in the journal. In case you are having a hard time figuring out what we were talking about, just think about it for a minute, and then make it sound like XXX porn and then you’ll know. There are some things that must remain private and not subject for the blog. As I’ve said often, use your imagination and then turn it up a to ten, and you’ll know all you need to know. This was a FaceTime call so you can figure one of us had the idea of turning the camera southward. I asked how private the area around him was and he said go for it. So, I did too. Too bad he chickened out from his side on me, but I understood why. Maybe what I showed him will make the decision to come home sooner than later make good sense. I know I’m soooo horny I’m going to write things I’d definitely would be embarrassed to say normally, but one look at him on my iPhone and my dick went boing! Now do you know what I showed him. (I was going to leave it there and then said to myself, go for it and show a mirror image of what Larry got to see from me.) But no, I did not jerk off, only faked jerking off. Trust me one more stroke on that dick of mine and I would have cum for sure. I hope you realize I need to come up with an idea very quick to get my dick back to normal and I haven’t a fucking clue other than going for it. But I don’t want to… I want to be the biggest stud I’ve ever been with him. Grrrrr.

Well, after talking to Larry, I know he’s in the same difficult spot as me. Obviously he’s with his kid in a tent at night, like he’s going to be jerking off with him in there. I guess he could do it in the toilets at the campground, but I feel sorry for him only for the horny shit, otherwise I’m happy for him and the fun time he says they are having together. I can’t wait to hear all the stories, but I’ll probably be reading most of them along with you guys. Maybe I’ll be lucky, and he’ll spill the beans before writing his chapter. I have my ways getting what I want out of him you know.

LATER AFTER GRAVITY FOUND MY DICK 

To spend the rest of the day away from home, I headed to the giant Walmart out on Interstate 80 to Reno, NV. I figured I could spend a couple of hours just walking the aisles and specifically the men’s clothing. Man if Lisa ever saw me doing that, I’d be hearing about it for months on end. I’m so tired of wearing the wrong or in between size right now, my smaller dress shorts that Larry likes to wear are too small for me right now, and the ones I’ve been wearing need a belt since my butt can’t hold them up like you know who can. I’ve noticed in the past that the giant Walmarts have a lot more than just groceries and a couple of times as I was walking through the men’s clothing section I noticed they have all kinds of shorts and name brand jeans, too. So, guess where I headed to as soon as I entered the store, the men’s clothing especially shorts for the rapidly approaching warmer weather.

.

I looked for a size smaller than what I’m wearing right now and found two jeans, a faded blue one from Levi, and a really dark blue one from Wrangler.  Next job find a changing room to see if I could get into them, no problem they both fit great, and not tight at all! I found something to feel good about for a change, and I can’t wait for Larry to see me wearing jeans, the short kind. Sometimes little things like that become really big things for your heart, I don’t know why that is, but it was for me. And then my mind went directly to Lisa. She would freak out if she saw me in these things and freak out even more if I told her the average price was $15 bucks for each. Even Amazon is selling Levi’s for up to $60 bucks. I couldn’t wait to get them home and rip off the tags. I’m wearing the faded blue jean shorts right now and I feel giddy awesome, I didn’t even bother to wash them first. The only thing missing right now is showing them off to my babe and getting his reaction. I should FaceTime him to show them off, except what I showed him already this morning in the shower room will never be topped by a pair of cheap blue jeans from Walmart. Man, it would be a sad state of affairs for me if the jeans topped that, huh. I don’t think I have anything to worry about at all.

So, that’s a good snapshot of my third day without him. Actually, it worked out pretty well, I filled up my day, got some good exercise walking the huge store and bought my first ever jean shorts. Now I can’t wait to see if I’ll need to buy some smaller ones next time. I don’t think Larry will ever understand wanting to be thinner, although he tries. Go figure I’d fall in love with a guy the total opposite of me, huh. 

I only made a mixed salad with a low-cal dressing for dinner. I could have found more things to make in the pantry, but you can bet my head was picturing me wearing much smaller shorts. Yup, had to be. I headed to the family room where upon I fell asleep watching something that I don’t recall again and got my ass off to bed. End of day three alone.

DAY FOUR AND COUNTING

It’s day four, Thursday now and I actually didn’t get up so early this time. Still keeping my hands off my junk, sort of, but it’s getting easier since I believe they will be back soon. I can’t imagine what seeing him with his son will be like, I can visualize what seeing him alone would be like though. I’d be waiting for him stark naked so as not to waste a single second; you need to believe me on that call. I better stop writing shit like this or my hands will be busy doing what I so want to wait for.

Slipery Dickery visual aid

Actually, I wanted to see how motivated I was to keep to my hands-off dick goal. There was no better place other than in bed to do this than our giant beckoning glass-brick shower room, not that far from my bed. I told myself the other day, uh uh, this is our favorite play place, okay, just one of our favorite places in the house to get busy. I convinced myself this will be a good experiment to see how strong I could be in my resolve. Cautiously I began to open a few of the shower head faucets and then the most dangerous one, the huge rain shower. Man, I had to do this, if I love him as much as I say I do, I must survive being in there alone. I certainly did feel very alone once I stood still under the rain shower, my mind went to just about everything we did together under there. Automatically, which means without thinking, my hand was on my dick, and I got hard fast; actually I’m ecstatic that getting hard is never a problem for me anymore. Oh the temptation was excruciating, but I powered through it by walking over to the liquid soap dispenser on the tilled wall and started soaping myself up. I’d be lying to you if I said my still hard dick was ignored in the soaping up routine, but it wasn’t. I might have lingered a bit longer down there than was necessary, but now it was a challenge I gave myself to see if I could stop in time. Okay, that may sound really stupid to you. Guess what? It was high up the stupid list. However, there’s a reason why I’m committed to doing this and there can’t be that many days left before he comes back home to me. I’m stronger than this temptation. At least I kept telling myself that, over and over until I released the soapy death grip on my dick. I hope you appreciate the pain it’s causing me just to remember and write about this shit as much as it was living it at the same time. See, I kept you from wondering; that ought to worth something.

Well, that looked like it was going to be the highlight of day four, and I’m still dripping wet and naked. That was a good start of the day, and I didn’t need to trek over to the office shower, too. Actually, I’m really proud of myself for sticking to my goal, but there’s a whole day facing me yet. But coffee is needed big time right now.

Burnt in memory forever

I’m still watching what I’m eating, back to just toast and coffee, this time with some peanut butter. I can’t wait for one of Larry’s great breakfasts; he’s so much more than the BBQ grill guy now. Man, I miss him standing at the stove, and I will not picture him there naked, I will not picture him like that, yeah, I pictured him like that. Man, how could I not see that perfect ass facing me if I'm sitting up tall in the chair. Haha, this time I didn’t need to sit up tall, it was perfectly recorded in my mind, thank you very much. Yeah, but I’m dressed this morning, grabbing my dick would require some unzipping. Not with peanut butter fingers though. I might have gotten a little carried away spreading the nut butter today.

My day got so much better after my coffee and nut butter toast. Because I got another FaceTime call right after cleaning up and washing my sticking fingers. This time there were two faces on the screen. Larry’s son was standing right by him, and he wanted to say hi. Two big smiling gorgeous men in one small hand-held screen! I’m happy that I was groomed and dressed, my usual routine would be still naked in the warmer months. Not what I’d like his kid to see, at least not right now. Not saying there wouldn’t be a day, but then I’m super horny and not responsible for what comes out of my mouth or what I write right now. 

Judging from the first few minutes of the call, it looks like everything is going to plan and there are two happy people having the time of their lives. I hope I get to have some time with his kid before he heads home, I want him to be happy for us and be a part of our lives. I’m getting good vibes on each call. Larry told his kid that he’d like some alone time talking to me and asked him for some privacy. His kid said goodbye and talk to you later; now that was cool to hear. I really am looking forward to talking to him, maybe it will help me get back in the good graces with my kids one day.

I’m not going to write about what Larry, and I talked about, except that he was crazy missing me and couldn’t wait to get back home. And a whole lot more. There’s a danger I’ll be writing too much about stuff that he would love to tell you himself in his next chapter. I may have done so already. However, I’m trying to keep it only to my side of the story. 

The rest of the day didn’t matter anymore, getting the call meant so much and just the fact he’s calling me makes the hands-off thing more powerful. There’s nothing more I want to write about for Thursday because it would probably be boring to read. I’m fairly certain of that too.

DAY FIVE OH THE JOY OF IT ALL

It’s day five now, Friday and I’m pretty sure it won’t be all day before I see them back here again. I’d really like to get to visit with his kid before he flys home, it’s been years since I’ve seen him and so much has changed. Personally, I wondering just how good he is with his dad and me together. After a week with his dad I’m sure the subject had to be discussed. I just hope he’ll be good with the way things worked out between all of us. 

I did have a much better night sleeping last night, more than likely my body needed to catch up on the rest it wasn’t getting. When I got up for the day, I gave considerable thought to showering in the master bathroom again since I was being so good yesterday. So, I just went for it, knowing that it could be just hours now that Larry will be home again, I should be able to hang in there a little longer. I was a lot quicker in there than yesterday though. It might be just a few hours to wait, but my horn factor is almost out of control. I toughed it out though. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in a while. 

One thing I did to help me power through this, was to think about what I put Larry through when he was caring for me after my knee surgery. Poor horny Larry stuck with a partner that couldn’t get a hard dick up if my life depended upon it. At least that didn’t last too long once the drugs wore off. However, once it looked like it was safe for me to return to normal activity, Larry went to work on it for me, but as I said, there were days when the damn thing gave me little hope. I began to think that was going to be my new lot in life now, but Larry wasn’t about to let that happen. Obviously, he got it back to working just fine, thank you very much. I bet he’s just as bad off as me right now, he better be. Haha. I fully expect to give myself to him as soon as we can be alone. He can do whatever he wants first, I’ll get my turn afterwards, and believe me I will get my turn. There might be a whole fucking porn chapter that will be facing us to write later!

Later in the morning I get the text stating, “We are heading home this afternoon. Our campsite was pre-booked for the weekend, more info later. Can’t wait to see you.” I almost came reading the text! I just knew today would be the day. I text him right back with, “I can’t wait to see you, too. Love you babe.” I didn’t know if his iPhone was visible to his kid, so nothing too sexy coming from me. I’ll take care of that soon enough. Now I need to run through the house and see if it needs picking up. Not really, I had a lot of time on my hands this week and I sure had a lot of nervous energy to deal with as well.

After I was satisfied everything looked great, or let’s say, looked good enough, I headed out to the garage and waited. Probably not the best choice since I don’t know when they’ll be here. I paced around the garage, when out front to see the Spring tree flowers in bloom, looked for anything new Aldo might have planted. And then realized, I don’t go looking out the front yard very much, how would I know if anything was new? Oh well, that took only a few minutes, drat. So, back inside and I turned on the TV news, but my mind hardly paid much attention. However, I remember seeing the atrocities still going on in the Ukraine, and some talk of uncovered phone calls that are damaging to the former president and his cronies. But if anyone wants me to repeat exactly what I heard it’s not likely going to happen. I’ve never been this much of a wreck before, maybe the ‘hands-off dick’ thing wasn’t my best thought out routine considering the basket case that I am right now.

So, back out to the garage again, they should be home soon, the lake isn’t that far away from here. If he obeys the speed limit with a trailer, maybe a little around an hour. I can wait or take a walk down the street to meet them perhaps. But I scratched that idea as, nah, I’d have to run to keep up with the truck, stupid idea. My self-deprecating abuse was interrupted by looking up and seeing Larry spinning his truck around to back into the covered boat area still at his old house. I can’t believe how he can back up so easily. If I was driving his truck and backing up I’d be on my fourth or fifth try before I’d get him to come do it for me. So, now you know I suck at backing up anything with a trailer attached. 

Larry’s son seemed to be in a hurry to get into the house because he didn’t wait for his dad to join him. Maybe he needs the bathroom or something. He had his backpack in hand and came right into the garage where I was waiting for them. He came in for a hug with me all on his own, something I wasn’t expecting at all. The hug gave him a chance to whisper into my ear something very nice to hear, “Thank you Al, oh I mean Marcus for being what my dad needed in his life. He seems so happy and I’m glad I’m going to have a father again.” I arched back a bit from the hug to look him directly in his face, and I was going to say something back, but I got a catch in my throat, but I think the look I gave him was completely understood and appreciated. I thought to myself, not out loud yet (and maybe you’ll have two dads you can count on having now.)

Once Larry was done stowing the boat he drove his truck over to our garage to park inside. Perhaps his son might have been given the expected routine before reaching home, it sure seemed like that to me. I’m confident in saying that because as soon as Larry stepped out of his truck to approach me, his kid said, “I’m headed in to get a shower that I need badly and you guys should get a room, okay?” He laughed and looked over his shoulder at us as he walked into the house. Not sure what they talked about for the week, but I bet our reunion routine was clearly delineated as they approached our house. I would have laughed a bit louder with him, but I was still a little choked up from what he whispered in my ear.

As I turned to look at the rugged hunk of man wasting not a second coming at me, I thought maybe I should brace myself because the hug is going to be a mighty powerful one. If you remember, I’m a couple of inches taller than Larry, and heavier, but that hug took both of my feet off the fucking ground. I was in the fucking air as we hugged and kissed. I know my ribs are going to feel this for a few days, but I don’t give a shit, we needed this right now. I want to tell you the invitation to get a room from his son wasn’t unheard, but I don’t want to only have a few minutes together, I want a helluva lot more than that.

Well, there was a solution, and his son had the right idea, they both needed a shower badly. I told him let’s head for our bedroom and he can take a shower to wash off a week of smoky campfires and whatever else is making that smell! I don’t think it was an idea that wasn’t already thought about by him anyway. While Larry was getting ready for his shower, I hightailed it to the office closet to get some fresh clothes for him, and no underwear, thank you very much. I’m fully expecting the quickest access ever. I don’t think I ever made it from one side of the house to other in the record time as I did that afternoon.

As I reentered the bathroom Larry was just standing and soaking under the rain shower, probably the best he’s thing felt in a week. I sat down on the bench in the dry area of the shower room to watch him, I was a little afraid that if I joined him it would be over in a few seconds for me, I’ve been holding off and it’s not going to take much for me to lose it.

Larry gave me the look, the look that said, “WTF, why are you just sitting there and not in here with me.” That look. And if the look wasn’t enough, there were the hand gestures that beckoned me over to him. Hey, I’m only human, albeit a horny desperate human, what could I do? I could strip off my clothes and haul my needy ass over to him. And I did, too. Needless to say, all I could think of was I’m going to cum the minute he touches my dick. Well the good news I guess, perhaps I’m not the best guesser of what the future has in store for me. Or just maybe the little man brain that sits atop my dick is way smarter than I give him credit. It got touched a lot and it didn’t explode as predicted, good I have time on my side.

As Larry and I were seeing how much suction our bodies were capable of while being compressed in a hug under the rain shower. That was something never experienced that I could remember. Larry told me as we tried to un-suck ourselves without a popping sound, that all he was thinking about while he was gone was having his dick inside me. I cleaned that up a just a bit for us, actually what he said was all he could think about was fucking me. That’s fair all I was thinking about was fucking him. Even Steven in my book. If you think I had him hold off until later tonight in bed, nope, but trust me there will be later in bed though. I assumed the position against the glass brick wall and the rest was history. I was just a little concerned and I do mean ‘little’, that once he was in me I wouldn’t be able to control cumming myself. I may have done a little leaking though but my desire to have my turn was stronger than I thought it was. Once we got to the point of no return, it came back to me, we have guest in the house, too late now to worry about that, we were into that mental space that we both love and can’t live without or break away from as well.

There were times in the past three years after we came out to each other that we had to wait so fucking long before we could sneak some time together, and when we were able, the sex was intense. And each time thereafter it got crazy intense to the point the waiting was excruciating for us. I brought this up because, the shower sex we just had was probably the best we’ve had yet. I hate to believe that we need to separate often just to get to this level though. There wasn’t a snowball chance in hell that I was going to get my turn after that intense session. However, I know where my dick will be parked later tonight, and he does too.

We both toweled off and I showed him the fresh clothes I brought for him which got me a kiss for thanks. I got dressed a little faster than him, personally I think he wore himself out this time, it couldn’t be his age right? Haha. 

I was pretty sure I heard a soft knock on our bedroom door, and then a second knock a little louder happened. When I opened the right side of the double doors, I saw his kid with a towel wrapped around him. I was grateful that he didn’t wrap the towel low on his hips like his dad does. I don’t know if I can be responsible enough having two sexy hunks in the house at the same time doing that. However, from what I saw of him, there’s no question any longer, the kid took after the dad. I don’t think he had showing me that in mind, what was needed were some clean clothes to wear. By this time, Larry had put some pants on and joined me at the door, he heard the request. Larry said if he looked in the closet in the bedroom we gave him, there’s the clothes he brought over here, and in the dresser there were socks, T-shirts, and boxers. He told him to wear anything that fits but was sure that any long pants in the closet would be floods on him though. His kid asked if there were any shorts to wear and the first thing I thought about was those stupid board shorts I hated. I hope he didn’t bring any of those over here. Larry told him there were some but if nothing fits that maybe Marcus will have something that will.

There wasn’t any problem getting something to fit him, the T-shirt was bigger than necessary but worked. We all met up in the kitchen for something to drink and I offered the chance to go out for dinner. But he had plans already. All the clothes he brought with him were now dirty and said he was headed to see his mom and get his clothes washed before he heads back home. I told him that we’d wash the clothes for him, no problem, but he said that his mom already told him to bring everything over to be washed. He also told us that he was going to spend some more time with his mom and let us have some privacy. He asked if we are still planning on taking him to the airport and added that he’d stay here Saturday night before he headed home on Sunday. Of course we will take him there, and it was nice to hear he wanted to spend the last night with us. However, I was a little sorry to know he was leaving here before I could ask some questions about the camping trip, but in reality, the concept of having Larry all to myself again weighed a helluva lot heaver in mind.

You are probably going to hate me; I know that why? Because I’m going to let Larry tell the rest of this story, including the departure of his son on Sunday. I’ve already said enough to almost step on stuff he might want to write about. However, I look at it as setting up Larry for the story only he could write. That said, any writing from either one of us is not going to happen for quite a few hours, or days, at least not until my dick gets fucking numb from overuse, and then I’ll think about it. In the mean time, Larry and Marcus need some catching up time doing whatever comes to mind.

Love you guys, thanks for caring to read this. Perhaps too long of a read but you can propably figure out why by now. I had no one else to tell my story to, just you.

Marcus

Here's a link to Larry's 20th posting, about his son's camping visit.

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2022/05/guys-its-larry-again-this-time.html#more