LARRY’S 20th Post, Camping Out With My Son.

 Hi guys, it’s Larry again this time.

I was looking at some of the older chapters in the blog and noticed that the first chapter I wrote for the journal was two years ago in May, and now I have 20 chapters for you to read. But I gotta long way to go to catch up to Marc’s chapters. That ain’t gonna happen anytime soon though. I guess you kinda know what I’m gonna write about this time, my son’s visit with me. 

I had to wait a while before I started writing this and I guess you can figure that out on your own huh, but I didn’t want to wait too long before I forget stuff. I don’t want to forget anything ever so I can read about it over and over in case it never happens again like this time. There’s so much to tell you I hope I can do a good job writing it. Maybe I’ll save some stuff for another chapter if this one gets too long. I’m getting as bad as Marc with long chapters lately.

MARCUS CAME CLEAN FINALLY

I saw that Marc finally fessed up his first name to you. At least the nickname we’ve all called him for several years. I always thought the name “Al” really fit him pretty good and I liked it, but I get why he likes using Marcus and that really fits him better now. There are lots of differences between me as “Mark” and me as “Larry”, I’m not sure that there are so many differences between him as “Al” and him as “Marcus”. He might not agree with that when it comes to how we act together now. At least the both of us don’t hide from each other, just about everyone else though.

I guess you can tell I’m stalling a bit about telling my story mainly because I don’t know where exactly to begin. And then there’s that thing that Marc wrote about keeping his hands off his dick while I was gone. He asked me if I did the same, and I told him he’d have to wait until he reads it in my chapter. Sounds like I was being an asshole about it, but I wanted to tell him what he wants to hear but make it special. Let’s say that’s why for now, I’m still thinking about how I’m gonna do this yet. This chapter is gonna take some time and effort to write, so hang in there with me, I have 19 chapters under my belt now and maybe I can really do this.

GETTING A TEXT FROM MY KID

I’ll tell ya for real, when I got the text from my son that he was able to get away and visit me for a week, I was about to lose it for real. I wanted to believe that someday this would happen, but that was gonna be some day, some day in the future not right now. I mean, wow sure I wanted this, but I didn’t have any time for me to think about it at all. It was gonna happen during Easter week and that was coming like so quick. Thankfully I have a buddy I live with who was able to calm me down. Like it’s been so fucking long since anything like this ever happened. Ya, never happened is more like it. Nobody’s to blame but me, I know that but it’s a whole new ball game for me now and I really would like to have my kids like me now and not be disgusted anymore.

I know I’m gonna be asked a million questions about why I was like I was when they were growing up. I don’t know if I even have any answers that will be okay. And there’s so much of my life that I can’t remember myself and maybe he’ll think I’m just being an asshole if I can’t answer his questions. Or maybe he won’t ask me anything, maybe Ellen told him everything already. She couldn’t wait to blab about Marcus and me living like we do already, so what else did she talk to him about. What if he’s coming out to just spit in my face and leave. I told all that to Marc and he set me straight. He grabbed my shoulders and made sure I was facing him before he talked to me. I must have been totally out of control because he never did that before and you gotta be pretty strong to do that to me anyway. Marcus just said, “Cut this crap out, he’s not coming out to get even with you, he’s coming out to get his dad back, period. So fucking cool it.” And then he hugged me until I let him stop, that was a long time because I was making myself a fucking wreck back then.

Marcus told me to go get all the camping equipment I still have over at my old garage and put it into my truck so that’s one thing I’ll have done ahead of time. That got my mind out of the place it was for a while. I also had to call Ellen at work and tell her that I was gonna get our camping stuff out of the garage before she got home and not to think the stuff was stolen. I don’t remember if that was my idea or Marc’s, but it was a good idea because Ellen was super cool about the camping trip. She said, “Our son needs to reconnect with his father that will be a great way to do it too.” She also said that I was finally in a good place in my life to do that. I thought that was such a cool thing for her to say to me, I guess I am in the best place I’ve ever been now. Maybe she’s ready to accept that me and Marc are for real not just on a fling. I actually liked talking to her about this, we are changing how we talk to each other now. But it’s not gonna make me change my mind about marrying Marcus and that’s a fact Jack.

Marcus was right when he said he thought we were going to the central coast, because that’s what I planned. I talked to my kid, and he wanted to stay closer to where we all live though because he was planning on spending some time with his mom too. I don’t know why I never covered this with Marc though, maybe because where I was planning on camping is too close to home and he might surprise us with a visit. IDK it did cross my mind, but this trip is only about me and my kid. Some day we will all do it together, I know that now that I’m back home with a head full of new shit to deal with. Maybe I’ll talk about that later. It wasn’t hard to get a campsite during the week when you know somebody important there, I do you know, Marc ain't the only guy here who can do that. But the weekend was already booked by someone else. That worked out great for my kid though.

When it came time to pick up my son at the airport I got all nervous again, good old Marc calmed me down and drove me there to pick him up. I think I talked Marc’s ear off going to the airport though, it had to be my nerves, I want this to go perfect and I have no clue on how to do that. How do I be a good dad when I wasn’t one when I needed to be. Marc said to just shut up and listen to your kid and let him do all the talking and if he asks you questions answer them honestly, you are both adults. But talk to him too, don’t just sit there letting him do all the work. Okay I was back to nervous again, maybe Marcus was talking too much now.

When we picked up my son, I did jump out of the car to help him, and I gave him a big hug and he let me do it too. Man, he’s a good-looking kid, a little too thin though, but I guess he got that from me. I found out he wears glasses now; I didn’t remember him wearing them growing up though. He said, we all get old right. Ya, I’m not sure I wanted to hear that from my own kid calling himself old. Shit, what does he think about me now that I'm 55. My son told me he is gonna be 34 soon in case I forgot I guess. I was around 21 when he was born so that makes sense. I was still in the Coast Guard at the time. I think both of my kids were created on my leaves back home with Ellen. She always said she wanted to have a family and not wait forever to have kids. I was okay with that too.

I just couldn’t be prouder of my kid, he gonna be a dad again soon, another little boy, that makes two grandsons for me and only one grandson for Marcus. I have a feeling deep down that my two grandsons will have third grandfather to deal with one day. I really want Marc to be a part of the kids life with me, it might take some work, but it will be worth it.  But I’m getting ahead of myself just dreaming about this for now. There’s a lot more story to tell yet.

I really don’t know how much private stuff to write about my kid since he doesn’t know about this blog and I’m not sure if he ever will. But maybe when I see how he and Marcus gets along we might let him read it. It’s gonna be a lot more embarrassing than I want to deal with though. I remember how embarrassed I was just thinking about you guys reading about me in those first chapters Marc wrote. Damn that was a lot to deal with, and I didn’t even know any of you guys yet. Now I write back to anyone who writes me so I kinda know more people than ever before. Well you know what I mean. Just because you haven’t seen me in person doesn’t make it any easier. I just thought about those two married guys we met on the cruise to Alaska with our wives. Peter and his husband, what the hell was his name anyway. I think it was Maurice he was French Canadian, Peter was from the states but living in Montreal, Canada. They knew all about us and read all of Marc’s chapters too. I didn’t have too hard a time dealing with them, they let Marc and me have their stateroom for an afternoon and I loved them to death for that. I don’t remember being embarrassed with them and we were caught naked by them. Anyhow not only did they read all about us they also got to see what we really look like and fucking naked too. Hahah, Marcus about freaked out. I bet whenever they read our stories after the cruise they pictured us as we really are, I know I picture them when we talk about them. Marcus has gotten email from Maurice in the past, but Peter never wrote me. If you guys are still reading about us, shoot me an email, I’d love to know what’s up with you guys. Anyway before I forget what I’m talking about I have no idea why I wasn’t so embarrassed, probably because I just had some serious sex with my buddy, and we got away with it too. If I was Marcus I bet I’d be wondering if our wives suspected what we were up to when we gave them the day at the spa on the ship. Me, I was still recovering from some hot sex we always had to sneak around to get with each other.

Oh ya I remember, I was talking about my kid not everything else. Man, you can get sidetracked when you write like this. I’ll try to watch that. I remember Marc being all about how much my kid and I looked alike, ya the poor kid got my genes. But he seems okay with everything, nothing like me and how I dealt with stuff. Maybe kids today are more reasonable or something. I know I have to write something about how he’s handling the fact that his dad is probably gay now. Well if the shoe fits, I guess. I don’t know if I’m that comfortable putting a label on us, I’ve liked women too you know. But I like sex with Marcus better than anything I ever had before, that much I know. I know you want me to tell you what my kid and I talked about on the camping trip, I’ll get to that before I finish writing, I promise you but not just yet.

WHAT I HAD TO FACE AFTER READING MARC’S CHAPTER

Ya, this section is gonna be hard to write, so I hope I get it right. I knew what he was up to before you guys did, but I also learned the reason why in his chapter along with the rest of you guys. Sometimes he keeps little secrets and then springs them on me. Like him waiting for me to come back home before he took care of being a horny fucker, it was a sweet surprise that I didn’t see coming. You can bet your ass I’ll ask him what his plans are if there’s another time like this in the future. I know why but not how he handled being so fucking horny except he had a lot of practice in his life before we got together.

We have this wonderful guy that follows us and is not afraid to write comments or email us, you sometimes see us calling him “Billy” or see his comments as “Gay Dad in Atlanta”. Anyhow I was afraid if I admitted to Marc that I didn’t do the same thing as him, he’d be upset or sad that I didn’t think of doing the same thing. We never talked about the hands-off shit; it just was his sweet way of waiting for me. Before I talked to Marc about any of this, I wrote Billy for some advice if he felt like helping me. He has been married for I think it’s 14 years now with his husband Barry. He has so many good comments to read and I figured maybe he’d be able to help me with my problem. He always said if we needed to talk, just email him and I did. Maybe he’ll tell me it’s not a real problem at all, only some shit I’m dealing with in my head.

Billy wrote me right back, how’s that for a good friend huh. He said not to forget that the two of us are very different from each other and that’s what attracted us to each other in the first place. Billy wrote that he’s good for a couple of times a day getting off, even if Barry and he just got it on sometimes. I think I found someone way hornier than me!

If you read Marc’s last chapter, he wrote that one day when I FaceTime him in the morning he was in still in our bathroom getting ready for the day. It got to a point when we were talking that he asked me if I was alone and someplace where nobody could see my iPhone screen. Ya it was like that and then he turned his camera around for me to see him in the big bathroom mirror. I could see when we started talking that he didn’t have a shirt on too. Not only was he naked but he had his boner going on for me to see too. There he was right on my iPhone looking so hot and perfect to me, he didn’t even bother to suck in his soft belly like he can now if he wanted. He had his dick in his hand faking jacking off for me. At least I think he was faking it, probably was just teasing me trying to bust my balls I guess, but it made me so fucking turned on. I really thought he’d finish himself off when we ended the call. He looked super horny to me, and we haven’t done any FaceTime like this is in a long, long time.

I couldn’t stay on the phone too long and ended the call before my kid would find out what he was doing. Anyway I told my kid I had to use the campground toilets but used it to jack off after the call, that was pretty fucking hot to watch, and I did miss him even after a couple of days gone. I might as well admit it and tell you that wasn’t the only time I did that, every time we ended a call I seemed to head to the toilet again. I wonder if my kid ever figured it out, let’s try to not think about that right now. Now that I’m writing about this I don’t know if I could have held off like Marcus did, once I get super horny I gotta do something about it.

Maybe I’m almost like our horny buddy Billy, nah, he seems hornier; besides he’s a year older and has more practice than me. Hahah. Between Marc and me I think I’m the easiest one to turn on and it doesn’t take much to do that either, just seeing Marc gets me all horny even if he’s not naked, always has been that way. Like I’m gonna tell him that though. Whoops, I think I just did. Since we are always together now, there’s no need to go jack off alone, if one of us is super horny we just go for it. It better stay that way too.

The camping trip with my son was the first time we’ve been separated after living together. I was once sent to Texas for a week for my job and that was hell for both of us. Back then we used to sneak time together whenever we could. I know what my dick was up to all the time when it wasn’t being used by Marcus; me and my dick had an arrangement for all situations. Anyway back to my problem, Billy said I should tell Marcus what I was doing when he got me so fucking horny and that it was him that I was thinking about when I was taking care of it.

I TOOK BILLY’S ADVICE AND TALKED TO MARCUS

Just to let you guys know, before I started writing this chapter, at least this part of it, I fessed up to Marc about not waiting like he did because I didn’t know the plan ahead of time. I doubt that I’d last a week, maybe a couple of days, but not after his naked FaceTime that’s for fucking sure! Marc’s reaction was kinda mixed I think, he did seem a little disappointed but maybe he understood why too. Billy told me that not to forget to mention that we are different guys with different needs, and it’s what attracted us to each other. That made a lot of sense to me. We are very different in so many ways, but not all!

Marc knows me better than anyone ever has and that means my Ellen too. Fuck I’d never tell her the stuff we do together, not even what we’ve talked about wanting to do. He knows if I’m horny and want him like right now, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing, and we get busy. And that goes both ways you know. Marcus was okay with me and my weakness, ya I’ll call it that for now. If there’s ever another time like this again, we definitely will be FaceTiming jacking off together, no surprises when we get back home. It’s time to get off this fucking subject now!

ALONE NOW AND IT’S TIME TO END MARC’S MISERY

I don’t think much time passed from my kid’s leaving the house and us heading for our bedroom. No cups of coffee, snacks, whatever, Marcus took my hand and made sure we didn’t waste any time getting to our room. We have Alexa handle lights, security, whatever he set up for the place. We had stuff to do, and technology took care of the rest. I’ve come to love Alexa; I hope she’s not watching though. Actually, Marc changed her voice to a guys voice, I like that a lot better. It’s a guys world now around here.

We never lock our bedroom door, but that night it got locked. IDK maybe we thought the kid might come back for something and we didn’t need to be interrupted or caught being ourselves. Marc gave him a key to the front door to use while he is here with us, why not. Well if he did came back, we never heard him besides after we set the alarm we’d know for sure someone was in the house. 

I had my turn with him when we got back home, and poor Marcus got to wait for his turn at night and he had big plans for me too. My future husband had a week without sex, and I know what he can deliver on a daily basis, but a whole fucking week huh. As much as I love sucking the tasty salty life outta his dick, I had second thoughts about drowning in a week of his cum. I don’t care how good it makes me feel. Anyway I was pretty sure he had something a lot lower down on my body in mind. I made sure I was squeaky clean before I got in bed with him, I had excused myself and of course he was okay with that, he’s been waiting for a week, and it was in his best interest anyway.

What can I say about this, it's hot to look at.

Marc was waiting all naked and hard for me on top of the sheets, all the covers were on the small bench at the foot of the bed. No obstacles needed tonight I guess. I got in bed and climbed on top of him and then we started kissing like it’s been years since we had the chance. I love kissing him more than I ever thought I would. Maybe I know what comes next and I do love what comes next. I thought maybe we were going to have a Chapstick event night and then we rolled over so he was on top of me for a while. I was told to turn over and place a pillow under my hips to help him. Yes sir whatever you want. He started giving me a massage from my lower back, hips, and thighs, before he zeroed in on his target. He better have because I made sure I was super nice and clean and smelled good too. Not unnoticed by him at all.

Then something we both love and never got from our wives, a warm tongue exactly where it needed to be and that we had to wait for over fifty years to find out how much we can’t live without at all. At one point Marc asked if I could try two pillows to make it easier on him to enter me and not be uncomfortable for either of us. Can do buddy, go for it. And he did. It’s only been a week and that damn hole of mine decided it wasn’t ever going to be needed anymore I guess because it took a lot of negotiations before he was in. I can’t say it was the most comfortable we’ve been together, either my hole shrunk, or he grew a bigger dick, one of the two. I know what he’d like to admit to though, who wouldn’t. And then it was like old home week, our parts remembered each other, and it was perfect. Well almost perfect before my sweet buddy was needing a position change. He’s still got a knee that’s not fixed yet and a back that wasn’t happy. Not a problem I love sitting on his dick, I do that more often than not and he gets to rest his back. At least I don’t have any problems with some of the positions we try.  

We finished in this position, and I was grateful that I was able to get him freed from a week of his self-punishment. And I was glad he didn’t want to be sucked off because I felt him cumming for a very long time. It’s a good thing that we were alone because anyone in the house would have heard the complete audio track of him cumming. He actually got me to cum a bit without me touching my dick, although there were times when he had a death-grip on it, but I wasn’t paying that much attention I was having the time of my life with him cumming in me. And now I’m sure he’s about a quart low and better start working on a refill. Hahah. TMI ya think?

We fell asleep holding each other and never got to putting the covers back over us, we really wiped each other out. But that wasn’t all he had in mind, IDK sometime during the night we both got up to pee and I beat him in there, he told me to move over since he couldn’t wait for me to finish. We’ll clean up in the morning! We seem to be getting in sync with our night time pees lately, probably just because we disturb each other getting up from snuggling together. I’ll go with that explanation because I don’t like the obvious reason. 

When we got back into bed Marc just moved closer to me, grabbed my dick in his hand and started sucking on whatever was leftover. I have absolutely no problem with any of that, trust me! His other hand was busy roaming all over parts of my body that it could reach, again, I have no problem with that either! My future husband needed me and I’m all his anytime he wants. Take that Ellen see what you’ve been missing! I could say that about Lisa, but I don’t think she’d care that much about it anyway. If you think we got back to sleep sometime soon, think again.

Marcus said I had to tell you the rest of the story when we came back home from camping, that’s how he finished his chapter. I hope you liked my version and I’m glad he let me write it because I need the practice. Hahah!

CAMPING WITH MY KID IS NEXT UP

I headed to the bedroom my son was using to get him up and running for our camping trip. I don’t know much about my own kid as you kinda know, and it looks like he’s into sleeping because I had to shake him to get him up. I stepped back in case he wakes up swinging his fists. Hahah, nope that didn’t happen, he did say good morning to me, so I guess he wakes up nicer than I figured. I told him we need to get a move on, so we won’t waste any of our camping time together. I said if he gets his ass up and dressed breakfast will be in the kitchen waiting on him. He got up while I was still in the room and I noticed that had my old cotton boxers on that I told him he could use, I guess he doesn’t sleep naked, or he didn’t want to get caught that way by me. Got me to thinking again about what our sleeping arrangement will be like in the tent. I went back and packed a couple more boxers just in case. I have no idea what he would think about me striping naked for bed, I guess if it comes up we can talk about it like men. Probably not gonna be an issue for us though. I wondered what it would be like if I just undressed in the tent like normal with Marcus. Great that got into my head. 

I don’t have a clue what it’s gonna be like camping with my son as a grown ass man. I’ve missed so much of his life. Marc would say it was not just his life involved, it would be both life’s together that were missed. Anyhow he came into the kitchen, probably followed his nose because the place smelled like pancakes big time. Marcus was cooking for us, so I didn’t need to worry about that. I’ve got enough to deal with for the next few days. My kid was so polite to Marc, I didn’t know what to expect maybe he’d make the trip a nightmare to get back at me for being a jerk most of his life. I think the kid has a big heart, sure seems like it so far.

One thing my kid likes just like us, great coffee! Way to go kid! Marcus pulled out his Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee for us since my kid was here. My son really liked the stuff and couldn’t stop talking about how good the coffee was and how he could get some himself. Marc said he’d let him know all about it before he left for home. I’ll tell you here in case I screw up and forget to tell you, Marc packed up a pound of it for my son to take home. Marc buys five pounds at a time so we don’t run out. Lately, we’ve been trying other beans before we get bored with the Jamaican. My kid about freaked when he saw the gift from Marc, way to go Marcus! We’ll get my son to love us both one day I just know it.

I’m not sure what to think about anything yet, but the kid gave Marc a hug and told him he’d take good care of me while I was away with him. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say to someone myself? Hey, I’m not complaining, I think my son really likes Marc. I’ll get to the bottom of this when we are camping. I’m scared that everything is going too well, that’s usually when all the shit happens in my life. But my life is different now, none of that shit goes on anymore. I want this week to go great for us and I don’t know what to do or say. Marcus tried to make me feel better with some advice which he is always ready to hand out. He said it’s gonna be just like writing for the journal, it will come natural to me. I’m a way different guy now, my head is finally clear from the shit I was carrying around with me for so many years. Don’t think negative thoughts just positive thoughts, you know what, I can do that now. I know I can.

We stowed what we had with us in the back seat instead of the truck bed. I have all the camping shit and a bunch of fire wood back there. This was exciting for me, just me and my kid, well he’s not a kid anymore, just a nice young guy that smiles at me a lot. I think he wants this as bad as me and I’m not gonna fuck it up for him. I hope so. I never fucked anything up with Marc in the last three years together, I can do this and maybe my kid will like me, maybe even love me one day.

While we were on the road I was afraid if I started talking I’d just ramble on and screw it up, so I thought what Marcus would do if he was me. No, I will not take out my dick like he did, Hahah. I just thought of that, and I laughed out loud and had to explain why to Marc while I was writing this part. I didn’t tell him exactly what I was laughing at, he’ll find out soon enough. IDK it could be an icebreaker huh. I don’t think we need an icebreaker though because my kid was full of talk instead. Thank God for little miracles huh. I think he was just as nervous as me and didn’t want to fuck it up on his end. I remember telling him at the time that we both have a lot of catching up to do, and I want this so bad for us. I also told him for IDK how many times that how sorry I was for all the shit I put them through. That he’s getting to meet and camp out with a guy who has been clean and sober for a very long time, and I’ll never be that asshole ever again. 

And if he wants to talk about it we can, I’m strong enough now to face anything he wants to know. I sure as fuck think I am or is that hope. Nope, I know I am really free of that guy finally.

Our route to Rollins Lake

We only have to drive about 31 miles to the lake area, but a lot of it is narrow mountain roads so it will take more time than just freeway driving. I told him I’ve been there so many times that I probably could drive there blindfolded, that little joke was taken a little too seriously I think. I saw the look on his face. I told him maybe only with one eye blindfolded. He better laugh because my jokes don’t get much better. He was just ball-busting me. My kid knows how to ball-bust it must be in our genes! I was so fucking happy he’s like me. I told him how I always did that with Marcus until he learned how to throw them back at me. We laughed together, now I know something about him, and he knows something about me. Stupid shit stuff, but it made us laugh that ought to count for something.

 

He said he has a shit pot of questions for me but maybe we can do that around the campfire at night. Maybe I should just watch the road with that big boat trailer behind us. The winding narrow road might be making him a little nervous. I agreed and for a while we just listened to the CD player. I told him to pick out whatever he might not hate from what I had in the truck. He picked out a Willy Nelson CD, my kid likes country just like me. Yay! I love getting to know my kid. I hope he likes getting to know me too.

He wanted to know what happened to make Al and me get the way we are now. He remembers him as just the guy next door with the big pool that he and his sister sometimes swam in with Al’s kids on Memorial Day or the Fourth of July. But that was long ago and before he got married himself. And how come his mom is okay with us living together. I guess he’s been only given the basics except I guess she couldn’t help herself from telling him how Marc and I are lovers. He also said that he hoped I’d answer his questions and not get all weirded out by them. This went on for a while and he didn’t wait for any answers yet, that was for later at the campsite or on the boat. I guess he wanted to get out all the questions before he forgot them or give me time to think about them. I not even going there, if I think too much about them I might not want to answer honestly. I told him I’d try really hard to answer him the best I could and treat him like the man he is, he’s not a kid any more.

He got back to Marc and me and living together and said he wants to ask me so much and maybe I could help him understand better. Before I could say anything he said, he and his wife have lots of friends and some are gay. And he knows a lot more than I might think he may know about the gay lifestyle. He hoped I’d be honest with him and help him understand how I could be married for 36 years and then switch to gay. What was it like and what made it happen. Man I wonder if we’ll ever have time to sleep just discussing his questions. He had a lot more questions than I wrote here, he just kept going on and on and I’d have to write a few chapters just to cover them all for you. You must know they weren’t all about living like I do now, a lot of them were about me and him and how I used to be. I’ll write about some of that in this chapter, but don’t forget that’s a real dark period of my life and I don’t like hanging around there at all.

I did get a couple of my questions out to him in the truck; I told him that I want to know everything about him and the problems he mentioned on our telephone call. I’d like to help him if I could. He kinda told me, don’t worry about it, I’d hear everything on his mind, and he really wanted someone to talk to about it before he does anything drastic. From the last the phone call, I think I know what drastic means, and I hope I’m gonna be good enough to help him. I might have to bring out the big guns, Marcus to help me. I hope I don’t have to though.

Before we knew it we were at the check in shed to get everything settled. We won’t put the boat into the water until after we setup the campsite. Probably will get in the water tomorrow, I think we will be busy enough for the rest of the day.

What a cool campsite huh.

My son took one look at my kinda small tent and asked if this was all I could afford and laughed. Ouch, it’s not that small, I don’t think anyway. It’s a two-man backpack tent, at least it’s not hard to set up and it’s easy to carry with you for shelter on a long hike. I told him if he comes back again to go camping with me I’ll buy him whatever he wants. He said anything that will hold a couple of cots to get off the ground would be good enough. His back ain’t so good anymore, I didn’t know that. I apologized big time that we will be sleeping on the ground in our sleeping bags. I got back a “Super,” you know after being around Marcus for a long time I know sarcasm when I hear it. But he’s not making a big deal out of it. If I’m right, I’m getting my own balls bashed by my own kid. How about that! That’s cool except I don’t know how to ball-bash my own kid back. Maybe I’ll learn before the trip is over. After all my kid ain’t a kid anymore, maybe he’d like an old man that could give it right back to him like Marcus does. We’ll see.

We got the tent up and we weren’t too close to other campsites but not really far either. I took this picture seen here while we were boating one day. It’s not a close-up shot because I wanted to show you how private we were for most of the week. After dark we are supposed to keep the noise down or at least talk softer even inside the tent too. I brought the firewood from our garage for the fire at night and to cook our meals. I figured the steaks I brought would be thawed by the time we wanted them. But mostly I’m keeping it simple which means hamburgers and hot dogs, and canned beans, about as camp out as you can get huh. Marcus made sandwiches for us and that covered lunch and dinner the first night. We’ll get to the serious campsite cooking starting in the morning. But we will have a campfire.

I’m not used to writing this kind of story so hang in there with me okay. There was stuff that we needed to do and say before we even got close to Q & A time. Like would he rather sleep in my truck instead of the ground, I’d understand if he would. Nope, he said he’s here to get to know his dad and that ain’t gonna happen in the back seat of my truck. It’s a good thing he doesn’t know about this journal blog because me and Marc learned a lot about ourselves in the back seat of my truck! Hahah. Nothing like a fat ass truck back seat to get it on when you are sneaking around with each other. If he ever reads this journal I might be a permanently red-faced guy. Part of me would like him to know how we fell in love with each other, but there’s a lot of horny sex in the journal too.

This year the weather has been kinda weird, it’s been colder and nothing like it was three years ago around this time when we went to the cabin together for the first time. So one thing I should have thought more about was how fucking cold it can get at night when it’s like this out. Once that sun goes down, it’s like the fucking North Pole out here. My tent is a more of a summertime tent, maybe springtime if we are lucky. At least the sleeping bags are down filled and can zip up pretty good. I had nothing to put under the sleeping bags, just Mother Earth and her lumpy ground. Oh this kid is gonna bring back horrible stories to his wife, I just know it.

IDK if you remember the gift Marcus gave me for the boat some time ago. Two dark blue bottles that used to hold Non-Chlorine Bleach with the pour spout pulled out, that made the opening big enough to fit our dicks and probably most guys. The best pee bottles ever! Guess what I was smart enough to bring with us. I had to tell my son if he wanted to go pee in the night, he had his own bottle. He had the nerve to tell me that at his age going pee at night is not a problem. I told him just wait, it will one day. He laughed again this time with me, but he did take the blue bottle and put it on his side of the tent. Ya never know what cold can do to your bladder. See my kid is fucking cool I gotta remind myself to make sure he knows I feel that way about him.

We both decided that let’s sleep with our clothes and jackets on too. The only thing we took off were our shoes, that’s it man. I had an LED lantern for the tent, and we kept it on for most of the night. We both turned to face each other to talk, just two little faces poking out of the sleeping bags, I was the one with the beard, and the other was my kid chatting up a storm of non-stop questions all fucking night. We did not go to sleep until I don’t know when, I think the sun was about to come up though. I’ll get to some of the questions in another section. My head is hurting right now trying to remember everything, I still don’t know how Marcus can remember so much shit. I guess it’s what makes me love him so much, we’ll go with that for now.

I remember getting out of the tent much later than I figured on doing. The sun was almost over our heads, that’s how late. And I still woke up before him in time to go empty my blue bottle that I used at least twice during the night. And yes if you must know, one time we were both still talking and I just told him I was going to use the pee bottle, so please excuse me. The other choice was not to use the pee bottle and truck my ass over to the toilets that weren’t that close, fuck that, it was icy cold at that time. You know how Marc always talks about dick shrinking cold, ya it was that cold. I hope my kid never saw how cold my dick got! Now I sound like Marcus complaining about dick size. At least he doesn’t do that anymore. Is that enough dick humor for now? There might be more later I bet. Hahah.

I started the campfire for breakfast and maybe thaw out my kid. Actually, it wasn’t that cold out anymore, the sun was up and I’m thinking we should put the boat into the water today. I bet he’ll like boating on this lake, it’s really pretty up here, dense forest, blue water, and sky that’s it. I didn’t know my son had some experience handling a boat, so what else is new, of course I didn’t know. I will know a lot more after this week camping though. He took over handling the boat while I parked the truck and trailer. He’s even better than Marcus at that, well he is a lot younger and moves quicker I guess. Maybe I should shut up on this before I get myself into trouble.

:

I took this “Live Photo” on my iPhone and turned it into a looped GIF but somehow when I uploaded it online it turned into a MOV file. I hope it works. [I saw that if you click on the video you have choices to use and you can loop it too.] We had just come from around the bend you might notice on the right side. My son was piloting the boat at the time. He’s damn good at it too. Ain’t it pretty at the lake?

The picture was taken here.

While we were on the lake it was getting a little hot in the sun and I figured that we should head for a shady spot if possible. I took off my shirt and he followed my lead. I’m way over being afraid of what people will think of my fur and I’ll be damned if I will be embarrassed in front of my own kid anymore. It was something else noticing how much we share in common. Maybe he’s not quite like me but not unlike me too. He didn’t seem to have a problem showing off what he looked like, but he did ask why I never took off my shirt when I was around the house when they were kids. It was a reasonable question and I have an answer and I told him. I was not happy with the way I looked, and I was tired of being told to shave my body by his mom. 

My son only said, “Really? I manscape all the time, and my wife shaves my back lots of times for me. Sometimes I shave everything off, and I do mean everything.” Now it was my time to say, “Really?” Because I meant it. I asked him how he dealt with all the itchiness. He said it was only for a day or so, but it makes his wife happy. Wow, that’s not how I handled it at all. He also said something sad at least I thought it was. At school they ask him to not wear open collar shirts unless he trims down his body hair. That didn’t seem to bother him at all because he manscapes almost all the time. And then he asked me why I didn’t do the same if it bothered me so much. I told him actually I do some manscaping once in a while, now especially when it gets out of control. For him it was an easy answer, for me not so much and I don’t know why it was anymore. I thought you might like to know how the two of us handled the same thing.

We spent hours on the lake that day, but we weren’t always moving. We found spots to just set anchor and fish for a while. Didn’t catch a fucking thing but it was okay, I was with my son, and he wanted to be there with me. We talked forever and ever, and I answered a ton of questions the best I could. Some were really personal, but I didn’t let that bother me. I just smiled and did my best. Don’t think I didn’t have lots of questions for him too because I did. I wanted to know everything I could just like he was doing with me. You already know way too much about me already so I’m not gonna write anything here like that, but I told him a lot of what you know about me. I didn’t tell him about this blog if I do it will be together with Marcus. I don’t know what to think about that. My kid might not like reading about the stuff we write about. I don’t want to even think about doing that yet.

I will write about some of the stuff he told me, at least what I can remember, there was a lifetime of stuff we talked about. A lot of it was stuff that made me cry a bit and he told me not to cry but I couldn’t help it. I was a stupid, stupid man for so long, I don’t know why I couldn’t stop drinking. I had help getting clean from heavy drugs long before I quit drinking and smoking. I guess I had to do it in small steps, first the drugs, then the beer, and finally the cigarettes. Although I lit up a cigar sometimes after quitting cigarettes. I stopped totally after I became Marc’s best buddy. He can’t stand the smell of cigarettes and he used to smoke when he was young too. I think I understand that though because now that I’m not smoking anymore, the smell of cigarette smoke or dirty ashtrays is gross.

My kid said that he has had many gay friends for more years than he can remember and that he doesn’t have a problem with anyone’s sexuality. I asked him how come he was so easy going about that. He had a long answer and part of it included that he has friends of different faiths too, and he likes being a part of world that is tolerant of each other. I didn’t expect anything like he was telling me about while we were on my boat. He was an open book and just told me whatever was in his head I guess. One thing for sure though, he wanted me to know him as much as he wanted to know me. That gave me so much courage, and it was coming from a guy who will be 34 this month. My beautiful boy grew up to be a beautiful man.

I think my son was trying to make me feel that my choice of lifestyle was just fine with him although he had a ton of questions about why my marriage was not good enough to last. He admitted that in college his roommate was out and sometimes he got blowjobs from him but never anal sex. He also admitted to returning the favor to his roommate sometimes. He told me sometimes it just felt right to have sex with his roommate, especially when they got high and not dating anyone. He loved this guy as a great friend and they were there for each other, in fact, sometimes he was the one who wanted to have sex. But he said he was mostly pansexual for most of his adult life, I haven’t a fucking clue what that means so he had to tell me. What I got from him was he could be attracted to some people regardless of their gender, it didn’t matter. You have to know I asked him if that was what I was by being with Marcus, or maybe both of us. He didn’t want to get into that thinking yet, so we moved on to other shit instead.

He pulled out a small container from his pants pocket and took out what certainly looked like a joint to me. And he just lit it up and tried to pass it over to me. Okay, he is an adult, pot is legal here and where he lives and I’ve done a lot worse than pot, but I had to say no, I can’t. I had to tell him I am totally clean and sober, I don’t do pot, or booze. I can’t, I don’t want to go back to my old lifestyle. He said he was sorry but was it okay if he kept smoking and if he blew the smoke away from me. Sure, but I kinda wish he hadn’t even lit it up. I have no problem with him or even Marc smoking weed. I just can’t. In fact I feel just awful that Marcus has quit just so I won’t be tempted. I don’t even know if Marcus would take a pass from my kid if he did offer it to him. Marc told me and you guys in the blog he was a big pothead when he was young, kinda makes sense his parents and all the band guys smoked weed all the time around him. Well in the three years we have been together there’s never been any pot in the house and Marc rarely drinks around me, but he will around guys that do drink. I wonder if he would ever smoke weed again.

Anyway, after my kid finished smoking he was super mellow and just laid out soaking in the sun. The munchie's didn’t hit until later and he couldn’t wait to dock the boat and head for the campfire for something to eat. Hahah, I remember the munchies, no wonder poor Marcus battled the bulge for so long. Probably why there are so many overweight people today I bet.

AT THE CAMPFIRE

Usually it’s me that starts any fire at home, I’m good at it so why not. But my kid is good at building fires too. More shit passed down through our genes I guess. It was nice having the time to put together our dinner while he was on the fire pit. I thought we better use up the hamburgers before the meat goes south on us, the hot dogs I brought can wait for another day. I was kinda surprised that meat wasn’t high on my kids like menu. He likes vegetables more and was hoping that maybe I was into it like him. I told him that Marcus and he will get along just great! Marc has me cooking and eating veggies more now, and that’s saying a lot because, I hated almost every vegetable I was served. Marc calls me a “meataholic” but I’m not so much that way anymore. I’d never have the body I have now if I didn’t eat loads of protein.

Ya while I’m thinking about stuff like that, my kid got to asking me how I got so buff looking and when did I get that way. I told him that I tried for most of my life to put on weight, but I guess it was mostly after I got free of drug dependency that I worked out the hardest and changed everything. He said I looked pretty damn good for an old dude. “HEY! WATCH IT, I’M NOT OLD!” My kid about lost it laughing at me, said he was just kidding so chill. I told him besides Marcus is the OLD guy around here, he’s gonna be 60 in June. My son said, “Really, he doesn’t look anywhere near that old.” My kid was fucking with my head better than me messing with Marcus, gotta love this kid.

I guess that was his way of getting me to open up with him and learn why he never had a real dad growing up. You know I knew I was gonna have to face this thing with him on the trip and I just went for it, he’s a grown ass man, he can handle it, I just hope I could handle it. I told him the truth, some of my memories were gone or really buried and I’ll try to tell him what I could remember about the crazy shit I was up to after I got out of the service. I told him every time his mom and I argued I’d get loaded and take my bike out for a long ride. Sometimes I’d meet up with some other bikers at a bar I liked and get even higher and drunk. I do remember when I was angry I’d do some really stupid shit to prove what a badass I was to them. I was really just this skinny guy trying to be bigger than he was. 

He was interested in hearing more except that’s the part I don’t have much memory about. I know I was in bad accident, and I don’t have a motorcycle any longer, it was trashed along with me. I was told no one thought you could live through a crash like that but here I am, right. I know I got addicted to pain meds and I know there were guys that made sure I got them and a lot harder drugs too. Your mother protected you and your sister from seeing me at my worst if I was around the house, most of the time I was where I could get high. 

I told him I was so sorry for what I put my family through and was he sure that he wanted to hear stuff like this but I’m not proud of what I did for so many years and it only got worse. He said he was here to meet his dad and forgive him. Wow, what did I do to deserve such a kid. I did talk about how I had help getting clean and then later getting sober. I did a lot of my working out to replace my addictions with a much better addiction. 

My son asked me the one question I didn’t think I had a good answer for. Why didn’t I reach out to him and his sister when I was finally clean and sober. I could have tried but didn’t. I told him I really didn’t have an answer and I’m sorry, but I was convinced that being clean and sober was only gonna be temporary, I have a history of failure and I couldn’t drag them into that kind of life again. It was sure you kids feared me and that your mom did protect you and maybe she didn’t want to give up the bond she had created. She never pushed me to connect with you until recently. 

I told my son I feared this conversation we are having and it’s still very painful for me, but he just listened and seemed to understand. I don’t know squat about him yet or why he is being so kind to me. I hoped we’d get off me and onto him for a while. We did and I learned a lot.

MORE CAMPFIRE TALK

After we ate more hamburgers than you’d ever believe we could eat, my son took out another saved joint and moved away from me to light it up. I told him he didn’t need to move away from me, I don’t want anything to separate us ever again. I can handle the smell of his weed, I always liked it anyway. He asked me if I was sure it was okay before he came back. And then he asked me if he should just stop smoking while we were together. I told him no, just be himself so I can learn about him and love him no matter what. I’m not gonna be the cop here, he seems to be able to handle it okay.

He offered a knuckle bump with me, and I returned it. We are getting along so good I’m not gonna let something like that get in the way. I started asking him stuff like if he ever went to college, I knew he graduated from high school, and what kind of job does he have now. I should know shit like this, and Ellen should have kept on me to be a part of their lives as much as she was on me about shaving my back, but she didn’t. I’m embarrassed just writing about this stuff here because you will know what a stupid idiot dad I’ve been. I’m sorry to admit this stuff but I better get back to the story or I’ll never get done.

You’ll never guess what he does for a living, and yes he graduated from college too. He’s an elementary school teacher, the fourth grade and he loves it. He says boys that age need a strong male image in the classroom, and he loves working with them and girls too of course. I’m so proud of him right now. Anyway, I asked him if he ever knew that Marcus was a high school teacher once and now sometimes he’s a part time university adjunct professor with online business classes. He didn’t at all, he just figured Al was this big wheel at his job, one look at this place what else could he be and said he never gave it a second thought. We got to talking for a long time about my son’s teaching kids and Marc’s teaching and I never got to say much about the job I just quit, that’s okay though. I really liked talking to my son like this and he’s making it really easy for me.

I remembered from the first phone call I got from him that he had a problem at home and needed to talk it through with someone, maybe his dad. I asked him if he’d like to talk about the problem he was having with his wife, I was up for it if he was. He said that it didn’t seem like so much of a problem anymore. But I’m curious and told him let’s talk about it anyway. After living with Marcus so long now I’ve picked up all kinds of ideas on how to handle situations, especially with wives. He said it really was about her pregnancy this time and that this wasn’t planned, it just happened. 

His wife had a difficult first pregnancy and now it’s looking like it’s gonna be that way again. She’s not happy that there isn’t more time between the births and maybe we should have stopped at one kid. I told him that I was so sorry to hear about the trouble she’s having now, and I bet it’s difficult for him too. I asked him if she and his son were alone at home this week, he said she’s spending the week with her parents who live in the same town, that’s why he could come and it was Spring Break for his school too.

That’s when he told me that sex was totally off the table for them now and that she is angry with him for not using protection like they’ve been doing. He told me that he forgot to buy more condoms when he should have, and he could be careful to pull out in time. This was such an adult conversation to have with your kid, but I handled it okay. What could I say anyway, shame-shame, why didn’t you hold off from sex, or go to the drugstore, or just go jack off instead. Like I could say any of that to him. All that came out was, “I’m sorry, but look you’ll have two little boys now.” I don’t think that was the best that I could have said, but it was what come out. Maybe it was me wanting another grandson, and now there’s a chance that I’ll get to meet them and play with them, and maybe I made it all about me.

Talking about making it about me, I continued for a bit longer. I asked him what his father-in-law wanted to be called by his kid one day. He said, his in-laws wanted to be called 'Papa’ and 'Nana'. I know what Marcus would like to be called by his grandson one day and it’s just 'Grandpa'. My son asked what I would like to be called, I came up with 'PapPap' it’s a name I heard once and thought it was good enough for me one day too. He said that was perfect with him and he’ll tell his wife that’s what it should be. Another knuckle bump closed off that conversation. My heart is getting way too full right about now, all I could think about was how good my life has become.

We talked long enough to get so dark out that we could see a zillion stars, it was so fucking cool. It reminded me of the times when Marcus was with me at the cabin and at Big Sur, it got dark there too. Too bad it doesn’t get dark enough at home to see the sky like it was that night. Anyway, we talked long enough for the fire to just get down to a glowing red ash. It was time to hit the sack even if it was on the ground. I told him if sleeping on the ground was too much for him don’t feel bad about sleeping on the back seat of my truck. He said no fucking way, I came here to be with you even if it is on the fucking hard cold lumpy ground and then laughed. I put my arm around him for the first time ever, I’m sure that it really was the first time ever too, as we walked over to the tent. One thing I noticed, it’s a lot easier looking up at Marc who’s only two inches taller than me; this four-inch height thing between me and my son is giving me a neck-ache! See even after all the emotion I can still make a funny for you. I think it’s so cool that my kid got to be six feet tall. I remember Marc telling me once that he wanted to be that tall. Not me, I was so fucking skinny I needed to be shorter not taller! Hahah.

It was back into our sleeping bags again, still dressed but no shoes, and with empty pee bottles next to us. Seeing my kid getting his bottle emptied the other morning gave me the idea he was cool with them in the tent with us. The present that keeps on giving, thanks to Marc.

That night wasn’t much different than any other night, we talked like forever. Just stuff that came up getting to know each other. Like sleeping in our clothes came up a lot, I could understand why too. Maybe the next time we try this it should be warmer, you think huh! 

My son made sure that I knew that he wasn’t very happy sleeping in his clothes even though they helped us stay warm. I told him, “Me too, they are strangling my balls every time I turn in the bag.” I made him laugh big time over that, maybe his balls agreed with mine. He said, he never wears clothes to bed and now he knows why. So I laughed this time and said that Marc and I never wear clothes to bed too, and that I always have been that way. He said that wasn’t too hard to imagine for him considering our living arrangements, and just smiled. When did it get so comfortable talking about shit like this with your kid. I haven’t a fucking clue, but it’s cool not feeling like you need to censor stuff coming outta your mouth all the time. I really love that my kid is making it easy for me to make these changes. IDK if it’s what real dads and sons are like together, maybe we are both trying really hard to make this work. What’s wrong with that?

CAMPING OUT HAD TO COME TO AN END EVENTUALLY

I think I told you most of the important stuff from the camping trip, I’ll go back and read what I wrote to see if I missed anything important, or maybe I’ll write more about the trip again if I remember something else. We needed to vacate the place for the weekend campers but after seeing that naked FaceTime shot Marc showed me, all I could think about was coming home and fixing what was missing in the shot. It was me; I was missing in that shot.

The trip home wasn’t as long as the trip there, funny how that is the case huh. The trip home is always faster. I know my kid was wanting a shower and shave, the showers at the campground were always busy and always gross. We both needed a real soapy shower to stop smelling like a campfire. We never got into the lake water, it’s too fucking cold for that. Anyhow, we did talk more on the way home and my son was so cool about me and Marc wanting to be together. He said that he was gonna spend the night with his mom so we could have some privacy. Like getting loud if we wanted to. You know its gonna take me a long time to get used to having this cool dude in my life and remember that he’s my son too. Nah, I’m already loving it.

I guess it’s time to wrap up this chapter. I bet I’ll think of more stuff that happened camping out with my son to write again for you, I just need to process everything for a while. For the last few years I’ve learned so much from Marc and a lot from you guys too. I'm not that dense in case you think so, it’s just that so much stuff never got my attention before. My son got me to thinking about so much stuff that I guess I ignored before. He is opening up my world just like Marcus has done for me.

I have so much to learn about his generation yet, he called himself a Millennial whatever that is, I’m gonna need to look up more about them. He said that me and Marc are not in the same generation after I told him how old Marc was. I’m supposed to be a Generation X and Marcus is a Baby Boomer. I can’t say I haven’t heard these terms, but I never bothered to know anything about them either. I asked him if he was sure that me and Marc were two different generations because we are only four and a half years apart. Yup, he said he was right, but the only thing that counted was the love we would share together.

This chapter is way too long, and I didn’t even talk about what happened on Saturday afternoon and Sunday when we had to take him to the airport. If you want to know more let me know, Saturday was super cool for all three of us.

All I know is that I definitely need some serious Marcus time after writing this chapter for you!

M. Larry 

Here is a link to Larry’s part two of his time with his son:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2022/05/larrys-21-posting-whats-next-with-my-son.html#more