Ch. 38 When the Shit Hits the Fan

When excrement hits circular spinning devices

Hi Guys!

As you may tell from the title, something nasty might be in the works, so I’ll take a moment to say the title in a few of the languages from my international brothers reading our journal

English: When the shit hits the fan!

Spanish: Cuando la mierda golpea el abanico!

Italian: Quando la merda colpisce il ventilatore!

Portuguese: Quando a merda bate no ventilador!

German: Wenn die ScheiBe den Fan trifft!

Dutch: Wanneer de shit de fan raskt!

Norwegian: Når dritten treffer viften!

Polish: Kiedy gówno uderza w wentylator!

See now you now how to say that in eight languages, there's more but I’d have to download quite a few new keyboards. This is good for now, forgive me if I skipped your native language, but you are probably reading this in English anyway.

Nothing happened that can’t be fixed with just the right words, something I’m pretty good at too! One situation I’m facing right now, there’s not a lot of pictures to convey the subject of my posting today, so I’m sorry in advance. You do know that those pictures I find, turn me on probably more than you, huh? That’s the best and hardest part of writing my journal, finding pictures to represent us, that hopefully look somewhat like us, doing whatever. That’s almost fucking impossible though, it’s hard to find someone as good looking as me, ha ha, ya right! Okay, enough joking, time to get serious.

Guys, if I pull this situation off without a hitch, I’m a better negotiator than I previously thought I was! I’ve mentioned before that nothing slips by my wife, that is, until she met her match with me! Again, it’s not earthshaking stuff, yet…

Do you remember my Chapter 36 posting, the part from my actual birthday night surprise by our wives at the pool? You know when they decided to give us the ultimate strip show we may have dreamed about from them together? Yeah, that thing. It has more parts to it than I figured upon back then. The parts are the unasked questions from them, and the answers needed to piece together the puzzle they haven’t solved yet.

So, let me go back a bit in time, just a few nights ago. I was being lazy and didn’t make dinner, or want to make it, and told my wife it was dinner out tonight. That’s always okay with her, no Kitchen Cleanup, I cook, she cleans. She also thinks that arrangement sucks for her, I make too big a mess when I cook, that’s her opinion, I think I’m better than she thinks I am! So, that’s how it starts, oh, and she insisted that she pick the restaurant, that’s fair I guess, since she can’t just take her bra off and get comfortable right away. At least she picks a place close by, and it’ll be back home to comfortable soon.

While at dinner, and then later, on the way home, the subject went to that nude swim-time stripping show, and a little something about Larry’s unexpected strip show of his own too. As for me, anything I do is already expected, it’s like, so what else is new about him! But don’t think for a minute that Larry’s off the fucking hook about that though. And, for you guys who have been following us from the start of the journal, have no fear, before I began writing this posting, I have already talked to my Babe Larry about everything that I’m going write in the journal today. I’ll try give you his thoughts and reactions too before I close the chapter.

LET THE STORY BEGIN

Where the fuck do, I start with this? Let’s go with the girls show, that’s a loaded gun; they noticed me ogling them, maybe ready to stuff dollar bills into their non-existing g-strings. I gave them what they wanted, from me, Larry not so much. (Well, he was 40 feet away and it was night, I’m trying to have your back Babe!) However, I really believe they expected him to swim down to the shallow end and watch the show up close and personal, he didn’t. (He did tell me that he missed the show and wasn’t aware of it happening and was disappointed. I’m okay with that response from him.) And, my wife continued, “Larry did watch your mostly drunken strip-show and stayed down at the deep end with you, and then you guys horsed around like little kids in the pool.” Now I’m wondering about back then, exactly how much we were really getting away with that night. And then she tops this off with, “and that stripping of his clothes all down the way to the deep end, what’s with that, he can’t blame being drunk! Where did all that bravado come from, he never wanted to be ‘naked’ with you and told me not to look when he was naked in the pool too. This is very weird behavior!”

Then it came, words that could have been shot out of a cannon to right between my eyes! “Has Larry been trying to fool around with you, you know, like doing gay shit?” “What?! Why would you think that from him, of all people? We just got him to stop the gay bashing with us a few weeks ago! And, he’s probably the most masculine guy I’ve ever known!” (That’s very true too!) “I don’t know, but Ellen says he’s not the same much anymore after your trips together, he’s a different guy lately, and seems to want to spend more guy time with you, than couple time with her.” Oh, oh, I’m thinking, I knew this would be coming soon, just not this soon. It’s time to bail out my guy and give him good reasons for any perceived changes.

I told my wife while laughing, “don’t you think if there was a real choice as to who would fool around between the two of us, it would probably be me! I’m the outgoing liberal guy!” I told her that Larry was so timid and conservative, he’d have a hard time dealing with that idea. That, I’m so happy he could be himself around me now and that the naked thing that he feared so much, was nothing at all. And I told her, “I’m so happy with his changes in the past few months, and that I can have a great buddy to hang with me without those phony hang ups.” She agreed with me, on his progress, but is still holding onto the gay thing. She told me I should watch myself around him, that she never bought into his homophobic shit, that he’s covering up something. (Yeah, sometimes it’s my dick! I’m bad, I know!)

I figured this is the time to save my Bros ass, once and for all. I told her that his homophobia isn’t everything it appears to be, so you are right. There’s a lot of act there. She couldn’t wait to say, “I knew this, see, I was right!” I said, “Whoa Nelly, hold on, not so fast!” (No, my wife’s name is not Nelly, that’s a horse! 🐎 ) “He has a very good reason to protect himself with all that shit!” I asked her, did she ever really observe what he looks like compared to, let’s say, me? Or, any other guy she knew. He has had to fend off unwanted advances his whole life, and when he was young, he was abused. He feels his actions and words protects him much like highly colored skin protects some frogs, as being toxic, so leave us alone.

I told my wife about our trip to Costco before our trip to Coast, and how people just stared at him, or the sample ladies willing to sample him for themselves! We laughed together, he’s been protecting himself for so long, that maybe he’s lost access to the reasons why he’s doing it. I told her we’ve had long conversations over the past few weeks, about why people may be attracted to him. And, I gave him some ideas on how to handle it. That’s a good reason why he’s stopped with the crap we’re so used to from him; however, I can’t guarantee that he stopped it at work though. “One thing at a time, honey, one thing at a time!”

I had to cover the increased Bro time next, I thinks that’s easy, well I’ll soon find out. “Honey, I think I understand Ellen’s concern about the time we are spending together. You obviously know this is new thing for both of us, after all, before March, I rarely had any more than a few hours in a month to visit with him. And I bet, you and Ellen May not know this at all, so keep your counsel, huh? Larry had been super careful around me for years; he didn’t trust me because I’m such a “fucking liberal hippy,” always naked too! I can see how I might have scared him now. Before I tried to know him better, I was just annoyed at all the garbage he was putting out there, especially if I thought he was directing it at me.”

And then, I tried to cover our expanding times together. I just told her that the trip to the lake, even though it was for the weekend was terrific for us, we had never spent that much time alone together before, but knew it was way too short. The trip to the coast you and Ellen helped us with, gave us time to become real brothers. Now we really enjoy our company together, but we better understand how that affects you and Ellen. I’m sorry, if you have felt ignored too. It’s just that neither he nor I had brothers growing up, and we are just making up for it big time!” (More ways than one, too!)

My wife took all this to heart, and said she’d try to explain what I said about him to Ellen one day soon. I might have defused some of this with her tonight, but she had one more bombshell to unload. And I really didn’t see this coming at all! Okay, never in a million years did I see this coming! So, how’s that for a cliffhanger?
 
Before dinner was over, I asked for her permission to see if Larry and Ellen could come over for a swim tonight. She wasn’t in the mood for company tonight, just wanted to get a bath and relax for the balance of the evening. But she said knock yourself out with Larry if he was up for it tonight. Then she said it was cool that he could be comfortable nude now around us. I reminded her that men only get naked, not nude, I’m just saying! She said I really was a ‘fucking idiot!’ And laughed!

Hey, she said ‘fucking,’ does that give me permission to talk like that in front of women? Oh, I’m just pulling your fucken leg guys, the girls know and use those words all the time, it’s just my mom taught me to respect women in my presence, that’s all. BTW, since I’m on the subject of ‘grown up words,’ I’m really having fun talking with Larry now that he dropped the ‘Altar Boy’ act with me, it’s been years since I worked and fought along side of men who cursed like Longshoremen. When I’m on camera in Video Conferencing, I really must watch my language. And, now that I’m talking to my Babe like that all the time, I just about slipped a couple of times at the last online meeting. My boss covered for me with some heavy coughing, saved by the Big Boss, yeah, that’s going to look fucken good on the resume, huh?

THE RIDE HOME FROM DINNER OUT

Remember that topic at the start of the posting? When excrement hits circular spinning devices? Yeah, that one. Guess what comes out of my wife’s mouth, oh, you won’t guess, so I’ll tell you. “Honey, remember at dinner you said, if anyone ever tried anything funny, it would, probably be you?” “Yeah.” Thinking, oh fuck what shit did I get myself into tonight? It’s all my fault, I just talk and talk, maybe I need better filters! You think!! Now I must look into her eyes and say something I don’t want to say. Yes, all that went through my head before the next word came out of my mouth. “What about that?” Was all I could come up with.

Sometimes I wonder, back in March of this year, if I didn’t wake up in an Alternate Universe, where everything looks the same, but acts way different from what I’ve come to expect, in my time on Earth. Because what comes out of my wife’s mouth next, most certainly came from that Alternate Universe, not our Universe! So, she starts with, “Okay, this is going to be really hard for me to put into words, so please don’t hate me if I bungle this, huh?” “Sure, of course, why would I hate you?” “Like I said, this is awkward for me, but Ellen and I had a chance to talk quite a bit while you and Larry were at Big Sur, and got to thinking, maybe Larry has been covering up something big, maybe, ‘being bisexual’? That maybe he might have even tried to fool around some with you, maybe some bi-curious stuff?” “Wow, really? You girls would really think that about him?” “Well maybe, but that’s not what I really wanted to talk to you about right now.” And then she kept on with her thoughts about ‘guys.’ “We know most guys like the fantasy of two girls getting it on together, right?” I said, “I’d be lying if I said no; I’m sure it had crossed many men’s minds at times.” “Yes, we mostly figured that, just wasn’t sure how you guys felt, especially Larry.” I told her, “don’t you girls worry one bit about Larry, he’s a real guy, and would be the best male cheerleader for the show!” And laughed. So now I’m thinking, are the girls willing to put on a show for us? Maybe something in the works for our next vacation together? And then, she settles this with, “Well, what you probably don’t know about some women, at least the two of us, we think it be hot to see two guys giving each other blowjobs. Is that something you and Larry would consider doing for us one day?” What the Fuck?! I did not just hear that out of my wife’s mouth! I have no built-in immediate comeback for the first time in years! I’m fucken stunned!

“Well, you did say it was awkward, you warned me.” I had to defend my Babe first with, “Don’t hold your breath on Larry going along with this, Mr. Conservative Homophobic will shit a brick, just hearing that you girls think he’s gay or bisexual. He’ll go right back to spouting all that shit we hate all over again!” And then I added for myself, “You do realize that it was just recently that I allowed myself to be naked in front of all of you, now with Ellen, right? Besides, I was mostly drunk when I did it too! I certainly, had lost all my inhibitions that night! Do you really think the two of us could actually do that in front of you, without mind altering drugs?”

Oh, I’m about to explode with internal laughter, or maybe shit a brick! However, I restrain myself to slight giggling instead, well I tried to be polite because I could see how much stress this caused her to tell me. I reached over to her side of the car and placed my hand on top of hers and said, “well, that was really unexpected and probably the hardest and strangest thing you ever had to ask me about, wow! I’d say Larry will freak out just contemplating the thought; but I’d be lying if I didn’t have bi-curious thoughts in my life and wonder at times what it would be like with him.”

Of course, this has been the actual truth for several years now. However, I told her, “I’ll tell you what I could do, I’ll try to come up with some way to bring it up to him and see what happens.” But thinking to myself, there’s no way in hell that he will go along with this, I’m not sure I want to go along with it myself. What we have together, I don’t want to share! We’ve been buddies for eight years, that I can share, but the intimate sex to be on display in front of them, nah. Okay sure, I tell you guys everything, and then I go looking for pictures to back up what we were into, but we aren’t on live video feed, it’s just horny little old me talking directly to you, that’s intimate in my book! No, the minute we turn on a Webcam and get it on for you, that changes everything, and that’s what the wives seems to want from us with the request. I know, if it’s good enough for them to do it for us, why the fuck can’t we do it for them? I don’t fucken know yet, I don’t have a lot of hope though.

If any of you Bros out there reading our journal, have any ideas, I’m all ears! Larry and I are so fucken green with our new sexuality, I don’t know what to do or even think. It seems kind of chickenshit, if we let the wives turn us on that way, that we can’t return the favor for them. I’m stuck here. Maybe I should stay stuck!

Man, I’m thinking Larry will have a fucking heart attack if he must do this for them, especially, while they may be thinking he’s covering up being gay or bisexual, that’s just fucking sick! Fuck! I don’t need this right now! And then this fucking BIG thought hits my brain, what if this is just a big fucking trap, they are setting for us, the suspicions confirmed kind of trap! I just told her that it has crossed my mind about being with him, but I think she knows me well enough that I’m going to just put it out there, nothing to hide. So, sue me, who hasn’t thought about doing that big hunk of man? That’s been his problem forever! Then I think, I wonder how I’d handle all that attention he gets; I’d like to try and find out!

[Sorry Larry, I really didn’t mean that the way it sounds! Well, maybe for a day? Babe, you make me feel that way lots of times! However, for a whole fucken day on your advance birthday present for me, you made me feel awesome getting all that attention, I’m just saying! Enjoy it while you still can, just don’t let it go to your head, huh?]

CHECK IN TIME WITH MY BRO

I texted Larry if he wanted to swim tonight, he texted back, not tonight that he was already in bed, early day tomorrow. I told him I’m sitting on a powder keg of info that I’d like to talk to him about, but don’t worry, it will hold. I’m really fucking nasty; you don’t do stuff like that to people you love! So of course, I get the next text from him, “You fucken turd, do you think I can go to sleep now! Grrrr. 🤬 I’ll be right over.” I told you I was nasty, right?

So, I go meet him in the side yard, it’s still somewhat light out, and here comes my Babe in only sandals and white almost see through boxers, (if the light behind is bright enough), a lot like mine. I must say, I was the nasty one, and I get the visual treat, long live nasty! He told me it better be good, or I don’t get my hug. I told him to follow me to the swing, he needs to sit down for this. Well, that’s a scary enough set up huh?

I almost didn’t know where to start, not almost, I really didn’t know. I’m trying not to hurt his feelings, and I don’t want to anger him as well, so, I start with the girls stripping for us, well me, he missed it. That’s a good place to start. I tell him he needs to make it good with his wife, she expected him to swim down for the show they put on. Larry, said he never saw that, it was too far away and dark. I told him, just apologize profusely, because they expected him to at least wonder what was going on back where they were. “Babe, trust me, no excuses, just fucken apologize for not thinking ahead.”

“Okay, what next Marc?” I told him they are questioning our sexuality, and think you are covering up stuff about yourself with all that crap you put out there for years. My wife is not buying anything you used to say, and probably talked Ellen into questioning your motives. I tried to help him over the next part, the best I could. “They are suspecting you might be hiding something like bisexuality because of your heavy anti-gay stance. I think we talked about this before, but this is the first time it’s been brought up by my wife. I told her, that they were way off base on that with you, if anyone tried something, I was the more likely one.” Larry, said, “You actually told them that? Why?” “Why not, it took the target off your back, I can handle this for us.” “Man, I was worried that we were not going to get away with this from the first time I came over to swim naked with you!”

So, now that he said that, maybe I should tell him the rest of the story. I was so hoping I could do this over a few meetings. It will certainly take the pressure off their suspicions, maybe? I told him what they felt guys like to watch, you know two girls getting it on, that got his attention now. And then I dropped the bomb, 💣 “they’d like to see two guys, us, giving blowjobs to each other.” I’ll quote him, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! No fucking way they said that!” “Way!” “Oh, that’s never gonna happen! Was she drunk when she said that to you?” “Nope!” (Notice how I’m using his one-word responses? I figured, he understood that style.)

Larry said that what we have is ours, not something public, we’re not a fucking show! That he could never admit that he was into that kind of behavior with anyone! He most definitely is comfortable under cover with me, and that’s it. I told him I felt the same way and told her that that was something you’d be dead set against. That helped him a little, but he said that now he’ll never get to sleep just thinking about that shit all night long, and then that conversation with his wife about her suspicions is going to be dreadful since he’s not good at lying.

I told him to come closer to me for a big hug and kiss, he looked at me like I was crazy, that’s the shit that’s causing all this grief for him. I was more aggressive this time and went closer to him and went for the hug, but he was not into it at all. He refused to hug back, I’m not even going to try and kiss him, not now. My voice was cracking now, how he’s reacting is killing me inside, I went about this all the wrong way. I told him, “I have this Larry, you know I can handle this for us.” “Yeah, that’s what you always say, well maybe this time I don’t believe you!” I truly didn’t figure that he’d react this way, he’s been so into our relationship, I forgot how uptight he could be. He told me he had to go home; this was too much for him right now. He then said, “I have no fucking idea how to handle this, thanks for nothing! Fuck!”

Of course, I didn’t get a hug or kiss or good night, he just took off leaving me standing there not knowing for once in my life, what to say or do.

I don't know what the fuck to do

If you think I could even get tired to go to sleep, you’d be wrong, I am so upset with myself, why didn’t I think this through better! I’m a fucking asshole, why didn’t I know this was not going to be news he could handle. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I’m so fucking stupid! I don’t know what the fuck to do, or what the fuck to say. I’m not handling this like Marcus would, where’s cool-headed Marcus when I need him the most! I don’t want to go in the house, I don’t want to talk to my wife, I don’t want to swim, I don’t know what I want to do, I want to fucking cry, or scream, or punch, I can’t even choose one of these! I don’t know how to fix this! I go sit on the swing and get off it quickly because, I remember us there a while ago, the us that worked.

I take a walk down to my office deck and sit on a deck chair next to the small table I drink my coffee or have breakfast or lunch on, I put my head down on my folded arms on the table, and start to cry, I didn’t want to cry, it’s all I have left right now. I’ve never felt like this before, Marcus always knows what to do or say, but not tonight, maybe this really is that Alternate Universe, and this is how that Marcus handles shit like this!

I fell asleep on my deck with my head on my folded arms, I never went inside, I guess my wife never woke up until the morning alarm woke her up. She went looking for me, and then, instinctively headed to my office thinking I was at work already. Nope, not there, but something made her look outside and she saw me sleeping on my deck. She gently woke me up, which still startled me, I wasn’t expecting to be outside all night, but then I wasn’t expecting anything anyway. She asked me why I was outside all night, I just said I feel asleep hard, I guess. She said to come in and she’ll make me some coffee. I’m not telling her anything right now, because I’m starting to remember why I was out there now. I must not cry or feel bad, or think, just do! Speaking of which, I’ve got a lot of pee to do, like now! Amazing how much pee you can hold if you don’t get up to pee during the night! That’s just a little insight to you young bucks reading this, from a 57-year-old guys bladder. Geesh, that’s a lot of pee! I know I’m trying not to think about last night anymore, maybe the coffee will clear my head now, I’m willing to give it a try.

My wife asked me how I’m feeling, and I said okay I guess, I’ll get going after my coffee. She said that she was leaving shortly for work and would see me tonight. Try to have a good day. Try to have a good day? Does she know she’s responsible for all this grief, Well me too, I’m so fucking stupid, stupid, STUPID! Oh, don’t start that shit again, get Marcus working on an answer to this problem today, no more sleeping on the deck again. Well, I still don’t have a fucken clue how yet, but then I’m not through with my coffee yet.

After my coffee is almost gone, I get that feeling someone or thing is staring at me; did you ever get that creepy feeling? So, I turn to look out the kitchen nook window and there’s someone standing there on my deck looking through the window back at me. The guy had a ball cap on with the bill low on his forehead, and dark jacket on with the collar up, and dark sunglasses too. Okay, this is freaky, it’s not the pool guy or the gardener, and we live in a gated community, who the fuck is this guy. I have no defense other than a big fucking mouth, so I go out to see what gives. I also flashed on how maybe this is how Marcus checks out of life. I grab my balls to see if I still had them, good, I have them, and go out through the office door to meet this guy. He asks me if he could come inside to have coffee with me. What, but I recognized the voice, but the garb disguised him well, it was Larry looking contrite. I said yes, he could come in, but I wasn’t feeling overly friendly just yet. Let’s see what he has to say.

Larry said he couldn’t sleep all night thinking about what went down between us last night, that he thought about it while trying to sleep. I told him I never went inside, but did fall asleep on my deck chair, and that my wife woke me this morning, just a little while ago. I apologized first for not thinking through how that stuff would affect him, that I was fucking stupid. Larry said, that he shouldn’t have overreacted like he did, that I always work things out for us. He didn’t mean anything he said about me and was sorry too. Could he get a hug, the one he didn’t want last night? I told him only if he removed that ridiculous disguise first. Yes, we could hug again, but if he didn’t watch out, I might take advantage of him! We both laughed again.

But this is not over, I told him last night I failed us, I didn’t have an answer on how to move forward on the things he got upset about. Obviously, he must be half of the answer, I can’t just speak for him, I’m only 50% of this relationship. We must work through this together, and I’m going to be his support guy with the accusations about his covering being bisexual. Until we are ready, we are straight dudes who fell in love with being brothers, there’s nothing wrong with that because it’s the fucken truth.

“Marc, I know you are going to write about all this shit, I’ll be okay I guess, just don’t make me look like a fucking fool or stupid, okay?” “Why do you think I’d do that? I’m the dumb ass who didn’t think about your feelings first. I’d never abuse our relationship that way, I want it to last forever!” “Why do you have to write about it? Can’t you just fast forward?” “Larry, I’m the bad guy here, I’ll do my best to fix that for us, but shit happens sometimes, and I think the guys reading the journal are grown up enough to know that too.” And then, my Babe changed the topic of the conversation. “Marc, do you know you actually called me ‘Larry’ a couple of times recently? And, I fucken answered you too!” We both laughed a little, not big time, just a little. Larry added, “when I started reading the blog, it was easy for me to think Larry was this guy we knew, I was able to separate the two of us. Lately, I read about Larry and it’s me now, not some one else. Your Larry embarrasses me most of the time I read about him in your journal, am I really like him?” “First of all, it’s our journal, and Babe, you are a thousand times better than him, it’s not easy capturing what a wonderful man you are to me.” “Thank You Marc, speaking of that, I don’t know if I should call you ‘Marcus or Marc,’ now; I know you told me that’s your real middle name, but no one else knows that I think, right?” I told him, not to call me anything publicly, but the name he’s known for eight years, however, he can also publicly call me Bro, Brother or Babe when we are alone together. And for a while longer, he can call me ‘asshole’ or ‘fucken asshole’ because that’s what I was yesterday! “Nah, I can’t do that right now, that’s ball busting shit; I don’t want to bust your balls, I know you’re upset too. Can I have my fucken hug now?” Which I was happy to give him.

Larry said, he would rather stay with me today, but work calls, I said the same for me, but maybe tonight we could fix what we can’t do right now. He said that it’s a date, adding, “let’s not talk about anything except how we love each other tonight, okay?” “You bet brother, nothing but our love. We will work out what has to be done another day, but let’s promise ourselves never to end up like last night ever again.” We both said, “Never again!” I hope we mean that too!

Guys this has been an emotionally draining chapter for me to write. I could have skipped writing about it altogether, but it’s our reality checkpoint, shit happens even to nice guys like us; and if I made believe it didn’t happen, that’d be just phony shit, eventually you see right through that.

If I ever did write a ‘fantasy blog about us, we’d never stop being horny, be breeding fucken rabbits, no work to interrupt us, and be living on a coconut 🥥 palm 🏝 filled desert island with a great sandy beach and surf with Caribbean Blue water, and of course, unlimited food and rum, (moreover, Larry wouldn’t be a recovering alcoholic, I’d want a rum drinking buddy there! 🥃 😂) Maybe I’d give us bigger cocks to play with too! Not maybe, would. See, I’m with him for a few minutes and I’m all fucken horny again, so part of my fantasy is kind of already true!

I’m really starting to feel much better, obviously, I even want to eat something now; before he showed up this morning, my stomach was too upset to eat. I really need some more Bro time right now, but life dictates when and where I get that right now. I can’t wait for tonight, but I’ll try to put my head back to work, and close for this posting.

Maybe I’ll write something about tonight, maybe I won’t, I’ll check with my Babe first. Considering what I put him through, it’s the least I can do. I just hope he’s fucking horny though! God, I’m so fucken transparent! However, there seems to be a “to be continued,” buried in here!

Be kind, I’m trying.

Marcus

Our journal continues in Chapter 39:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2019/07/ch-39-after-shit-settled.html