Larry's First Posting

Hello, I’m the guy you know as "Larry"

I asked Marcus to write something nice in a chapter about a guy that writes me with good advice, and he said I should write something myself in my own words, and he’d post it here for you to read. I hope you can understand my writing though, I don’t have much writing experience. However, it seems like I’m learning to write back you guys a lot lately. (I used Microsoft Word to write this and it corrected my grammar, see it was okay I slept in my English classes like Marcus did! I had a lot of mistakes too!) 

If you read his journal, you probably know a lot about me already. I’m the guy he calls “Larry” sometimes it’s “Babe” too. I guess you know that’s not my real name he changed it in the stories to protect me. He never called me “Larry” until recently. I told him I liked what he wrote about the “Larry guy” in his stories, and that I wanted to make that my name when we were together. He could call me that instead of my real name. I’d tell you my real name, because I don’t care anymore, but I have to ask Marc first before I do that. I guess you know that Marcus is not the name I used for years with him, until he explained why he chose to use it in the blog. I think Marc had a good reason to change his name for the stories, and I guess you should know I call him Marc for real now when we are together. But not in front of our wives. Maybe you would get a kick out of our real first names if Marc would allow it one day.

Maybe you would like to know why I call him “Sweetbabes” huh? It’s because of what I read in the chapters some time ago. He was calling me “Babe” a lot and I kind of liked it, nobody ever did before, not even my wife. I can’t tell you what she calls me right now though, it’s not bad at all, but it might confuse you if I did. Maybe some day when Marcus says it’s okay. I started calling him “babe” too because it made me feel good inside to do that. But it made reading about who was talking hard to understand. Even I got confused, and I lived it!

Marcus is the kindest sweetest man I ever met, and he wrote that he wished I had a pet name for him like he did for me. So, I thought about combining two things together. The “sweet” and the “babe” and the “S” at the end was something that slipped out sometimes when I said it. I thought I was pretty cool coming up with that for him. I think he likes it too, since he uses it lots of times in the stories, he writes about us. I can be sweet too!

Marcus is the first and only real best friend I ever had in my whole life. I met him years ago when I moved next door to him. I guess you could say I’m a quiet and shy guy at home, but not at work though! Marcus is just the opposite kind of guy. There’s nothing shy about him or quiet! That’s okay I love listening to his stories, yes, he does talk a lot too. And, he has the greatest voice, Ellen says it's a Radio voice. But I’m getting much better myself talking to him. He makes it really easy to talk to him and he doesn’t judge me about anything I say. Oh, I’ve read all the stuff he’s told you about me, I’m guilty, I guess. You can trust Marcus to tell you everything, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t though. I understand why he does now. If you want to follow us, you should not be fed a bunch of bullshit. Like he says if you lie you have to remember the lie, or you’ll get caught one day.

I kind of freaked out last year when I realized it was me, he was writing about in his sex stories. Man, that was a shock to read about myself. Even though you don’t know the real me, I know the real me, and that was some really sexy stuff he wrote. And then he stripped me totally naked in front of you guys. I know, you don’t know me for real in person, but it was fucking embarrassing to read about me that way. And those pictures he picked out! I guess the words were not enough!

Don’t worry I’m way over that now, I actually love reading what he says about me and what we do together now. I think I have grown up a lot huh. I understand why he writes that about us, it shows you how much we love each other, and how much we need each other too. I don’t know if the hot sex he writes about us is that hot. I think it is, you guys get to decide that yourselves. Marc and I talk a lot more than have sex you know. It would be very boring to read nothing but what we talk about all the time. He picks out what to write about. I hope don’t think we have sex 24/7 we do other stuff too. We are pretty normal guys, yes normal horny guys, I guess. But if you got to see the Marcus I get to see; you’d get horny too. I know he makes you think it’s only about me, but now I get to make it about him.

When I met him almost nine years ago, he was in his late 40’s with lots of brown, brown shorts, light brown hair, brown tan, and when he took off his sun glasses, big puppy dog brown eyes. I loved those eyes, I still do. I know he talks about my blue eyes, but some people say it makes me look cold and uncaring. That’s not me at all. Marc has some gray at his chin in his beard now, and his temples are getting more gray all the time. He is even hotter looking today than he was nine years ago. Oh, I should say he calls his gray, silver. I’ll hear about that if I don’t say so. Silver, gray who cares he’s fucking hot looking to me. Oh, he thinks I don’t like that he lost weight this last year, he looks great, he didn’t need to lose weight, but I understand why he feels good about the loss. I don’t gain weight, at least not yet! That poor guy gains weight just thinking about food. Don’t you worry about him, I’ll make sure he works it off on me! 😃

I didn’t think I’d be writing any of this, I planned on just one thing, but now I get a chance to tell you about my buddy and I keep getting ideas of what to write about him. We are working together during this work shutdown virus thing. Our wives are too, only next door at my house. I guess you know they are having a thing like we are. Marc told me it’s been going on for a few years now. And it’s all my fault, nobody else. I was having such a hard time dealing with how Marcus and I had almost stopped being buddies. I know it was me, not him. I just couldn’t handle my attraction to him anymore, I was so afraid to tell him what I was feeling. I backed off more and more. We never went out for coffee anymore and that’s what I loved so much about being with him. No more boating, especially that! How could I keep my secret stuck on a boat with him and a bed down below. I dreamed of having him down below deck for so long, but I wasn’t going to lose my friend by trying something funny with him.

I know now that Marcus was having a problem with how I was acting, and I almost lost him. I almost lost my wife too; my depression was hitting her too. It’s a miracle what happened next because I was so sure I was going to lose my sobriety over this. I have a history of failure; Marcus has given me my success and I love him with everything inside me. Marcus asked me out for coffee at nearly the end of our friendship, I wanted so bad to go with him, so I agreed. But I was so afraid he was going to tell me our friendship was over that morning. I must have been shaking in my shoes, I was so sure it was over between us and Marcus the gentleman he is was going to end it with class, because that’s what he is, class.

But no, he didn’t act strange or like he was through with me. He had this dream he wanted to tell me about and we both were in it together. Oh, I was so ready to hear about it that I was almost in tears. I wanted to hear everything. But it was such a short dream about the two of us getting away, just us. Imagine he and me together, nothing else, no wives, just us. I wanted that so bad, I had to let him know what I was feeling about him inside. I was so tired of hiding it, so sick of my behavior to hide myself from him. If I could have kissed him right there in the coffeehouse, I would have in a minute.

I was beside myself with the thought of his dream, we had to make it happen. At home it’s all I talked about for days to Ellen, I think she was ready to shoot me to shut me up. I had no idea that Ellen would get Lisa on board with her to help the lake trip happen for us. I don’t think Marcus knew either. 

The first chapters Marcus wrote for the blog was about his dream, about us and how we made it the way to get back to being best buddies again. It ended up a lot more than that though. Marcus wrote a really good story and you guys asked him to keep on writing about us, and I didn’t know anything about this until much later. I’m still a little bit pissed that he thought I’d hate what he wrote and make him pull it down. I don’t think I’d do that. Everything Marc does is really cool to me, now I sound like I’m a fan of his instead of respecting him for what he does.

(I asked Marc to use the picture shown even though it's not us, it reminds me of that first time we hiked naked in the woods together.)

I thought maybe you might like to hear about that day from my side, so I went back to read a couple of Marc’s stories first to remember how he wrote about it. I can tell you this without reading the stories again. I was so excited about a guys only weekend I didn’t sleep hardly at all the night before. Marcus was right I did go get him up earlier than we agreed on. I couldn’t wait anymore if I had to drag him out of bed maybe I would. But don’t worry, I wouldn’t for real because Lisa was in there with him. I’m not a creep. But if he were alone, you bet your ass I’d get him up out of bed! I didn’t want to waste one minute of the time we had. Marcus said he thought maybe I wanted to catch him naked that morning. I don’t think so, but it would have been the first time ever to see him that way. I’m sure I just wanted to get going.

But since Marc brought up the naked thing between us in the story, I should tell you what I thought about Marc exposing himself in the truck to me. I could tell that my buddy was excited about the weekend with me after an hour or so in the truck. I think we both were quiet at first because we really needed to be more awake yet. I know how the weekend ended up, but I had no idea at first. I would have been happy hiking or fishing or boating with him, even sitting, and talking like we used to would have been fine. I just missed him so much, he was my only friend and I wanted him back.

Before I tell you more yet, when Marc said we never saw each other naked in all those years, he wasn’t lying to you. We were just best friends, buddies. Oh, don’t think I didn’t wonder what he looked like naked though. I sure kept that to myself, I feel I can say that now. You know from what he writes about us that we are physically the opposite of each other in a lot of ways. I kind of figured that was true about him naked, maybe I didn’t want to be compared to him. He already is my opinion of the perfect guy, what if he was one of those guys with a hose for a dick? I didn’t need one more thing to hate about myself. I don’t remember being close by a naked guy before, maybe I have but I have lots of memory gone now. I’ve seen pictures though, even guys with hard-ons too. Who hasn’t? But I never saw Marcus that way except when we first met, he was wearing some shorts that didn’t hide much. He looked kind of big to me.

In my truck when he opened his fly and pulled out his penis, wow, I wasn’t expecting that! I thought I was excited about the trip, man what’s going on in his head? I made a joke about him doing that, but I was going crazy in my head, what did that mean, what does he want from me, and thank God he’s a normal guy down there. If you don’t think my blood pressure was high, it was. When he got himself hard, yeah Marcus I’m telling them! I got to see my first boner on a real guy, not a picture. I should have pulled over instead of still driving I think, my heart was pounding, this was my buddy, a guy I’ve loved being around for years and not only have I seen his dick, I’ve seen his boner now too. I don’t think I was ready to do anything about it though. Except he told me to do the same, there was no thinking about it at all. I just pulled mine out to show him I was okay with what he did. Maybe I really wanted to show him that I was just like him, not only how I felt, but I couldn’t ignore we are built the same, it just made it so right to do it with him.

I don’t remember much more about the drive or what we were saying any longer, but I do remember imagining what was going to happen when we got there. I had enough time to get comfortable with the idea we may have some kind of sex between us. Maybe just oral sex, I didn’t care whatever Marc wanted from me was going to be okay. I figured he’d be the one to start something. Not me, well that was not true. But I remembered him saying one of his bucket list things was to hike naked in the woods. Once I thought about it, it wouldn’t go away. I was going to hike naked even if he didn’t. That’s why I got naked when I did in the cabin, I didn’t even look over to see him doing the same. That was the first time we ever saw each other totally naked in the several years we knew each other. You know what? It was like we did that all the time, I never felt so comfortable in my life. It was, okay I’m ready let’s go hiking now. But I was nasty a lot that day, I was always trying to catch a look at him all naked and with his dick all flopping around. I don’t know how I didn’t get a permanent boner myself. I saw him looking at me too, it wasn’t all one sided. At this point of the weekend it was like finding that one puzzle piece that made the puzzle go together much faster. Does that make sense to you?

I read later that the dream Marc had, had a lot more than he told me in the coffeehouse, I wish he told me all of it when he could, now it’s too late and he doesn’t remember anything. That okay, we’ve been filling in the pieces fairly good by ourselves.

Now I want to say something about one of the guys that writes me all the time lately. He writes Marc too. His name is João and he lives in Portugal, isn’t that a trip? I have a friend in Portugal now. João is 31 and married with a little girl and might be bisexual too. Nothing wrong with that, but Marc and I both agree not to use labels on people or ourselves. Marcus even showed me how to make that little “deelybop thingie” over the ã in his name too. I have no idea what the hell that is though. Man, I’m learning all kinds of shit lately. Well the thing about my new friend that amazes me is how mature he is. He’s like a middle-aged kid! And he’s younger than my son by a little bit. I’d never think a young guy would have advice for someone my age. But he is full of wonderful advice. I told him I wouldn’t use his last name unless he approved it. Maybe it’s a good thing too because I don’t think he wants his friends thinking he’s an old fart like us. Oh, I meant Marcus, I’m still young yet! Marcus is going to have another birthday soon, June 12, he’s going to be 58 this year, now it will be like he’s 5 years older than me. See I told you I was the young guy! Nah, don’t believe me, Marcus has never seemed any older or younger than me, we are so much alike where it counts the most. 

Here are a couple of things João has written to me that kind of chokes me up.

I had written something about being a nobody to him, and he wrote this back to me.

Also please never ever tell me you're a nobody! Your past and what you've been through doesn't define who you are... what you make after what you've suffered is what matters... Acknowledging that you've made a mistake (or several mistakes in your life), regretting them and then making amends to change, is what defines you... You turned your life around, you’ve changed! So please, just remember that the past in there... in the past... everyone makes mistakes! Everyone regrets something and no one is perfect!! Just enjoy the love you have now in your hands! Live it, cherish it, and take care of it! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!

I asked him what he thought about all the sex stories Marc was writing about us.

You asked what is like reading about you two, and I can tell you that is one of my best parts of my day. I love your journal because it is not only about sex. I can relate to you two! and that is the main reason I keep reading and rooting for you two! of course I love the hot steaming parts too! I'd be lying if I said otherwise. It is not gross, believe me! Also acts of love between two souls that love each other should never lead to embarrassment! I'm happy and feel lucky that you two are eager to share so much we me and that is it!

We talked about stuff that I’ve done that I’m not happy about and how it hurt those I loved, and he wrote this back to me. This only a part of that letter.

I can see you've been through a lot growing up, and also, that you regret a lot of what you've done in the past. But I would like that you look at it in a different way. First of all, you're not weak! If you were, you would never have been able to get out of that kind of life, with or without help! Second of all, you have two kind souls to love you and accept you for what you are and for what you've made and that makes you a lucky guy. Marcus and Ellen love you a lot, they accept you all and whole, mistakes included! Having one person like that right by our side is already a strike of luck but having two is like a miracle! Please Larry, let go of that guilt! It's in the past, you've turned around and you're a better person now! You deserve to be happy! Everybody makes mistakes, it's our human nature! Accept it and move on! Don't get stuck in it forever because it will drag you down now that you want to take flight with your soul mate! The fact that you don't want Marcus to see what you were in the past is a sign that you've evolved from that time. Enjoy the ride and FORGIVE your past! And for the record, yes! I love you and I love Marcus! I care about you two! and the crazy thing is, I don't know you two in person. But I can see that you are good people because of the way you talk about each other! So, I love you both, but most of all I love you Larry, mistakes included! If I were there right beside you, I'd hug you and tell you it's all right to make mistakes! It's alright to have a past life that we're not proud of! It's alright to get hurt in the process, because that helps us grow up and be the kind of person we need to be! I accept that past with my arms right open! No judgment from my side!

There have been a lot of letters from João since I put my email online as Marcus asked me to do. I’ve never experienced such love from someone that’s never met me in person. That must make Marcus a wonderful writer for you guys. I am so happy to have met some of you guys this way. If you want me to write again let Marcus know, I think I can find stuff to tell you about. There are other guys that are nice to me in their letters too. Watch out Markie, there’s always two sides to every story you know! 😜

Some of you guys have written that you’d love to have a “Larry” in your lives too. I do know what you mean by that, but from my side I’m so glad I have a “Marcus” in my life. You guys should say that instead unless you want a “furry blonde hairy-assed guy” like me. I’m not sure what makes my hairy ass so hot for him, I’m glad it does though! But you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen my buddy’s cute tan hairless ass. You know there’s two sides for hot asses too!

Thank you, Marc, for letting me write this for the blog. You guys should know Marcus did not help me at all, not even for the many mistakes I made. But maybe you guys figured out that anyway, I’m not the kind of writer that Marc has learned how to be this past year. I don’t want this to be a contest though. I hope you liked what I had to say, that’s all. If you want me to write some more, let Marcus know.

M. “Larry” Janssen

Our COVID journal continues with Larry’s Second Chapter:

https://brosgonerogue.blogspot.com/2020/06/larrys-2nd-posting-another-look.html