Larry's 15th Post: Marc’s Better Half
Hi guys, its Marc’s better half, Larry again.
Can you believe that this is the 16th time I’ve written something for the blog? I have a hard time thinking I had so much to say in the first place! But I’m happy to be writing again because I sure as fuck love talking to you guys. I’m happy that some of you guys like to read what I have to say about us. You gave me the confidence that I was lacking. Maybe you could call it not believing in myself, or who cares what I’m thinking about anyway. I’m so glad you do. I wish more of you would write me back though, I love getting to know you guys. Now I should get to writing something better than this stuff huh.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t write another chapter until I got “Mopey Marcus” to get through the crap he was dealing with. I’m sorry if that sounds like I didn’t care about his handling of not feeling important or useful after retirement, because I did. But I know personally that it can get very dark if you don’t deal with it or seek help. He was back to hiding himself to me and that really pissed me off! I thought we were always gonna be up front and truthful with each other. He wasn’t hiding anything good enough to fool me. Some days I felt like we had gone back to the months before we had our first weekend away together. Whatever I said, he’d say it was only me, he was fine. Yeah right! Man, don’t fucking treat me like a stupid kid. I might not be so sophisticated as him, or as talented, but I fucking feel stuff just like him or you guys. He said it in his chapter, that I was fed up with it and had to start doing something about it. He got that right!
You know I’m more upset with myself for letting him get away with that for so long. Some of what he was going through happened when I was away at work. When I came back home from work, he didn’t seem any more than kinda bored with nothing to do. I figured it’s part of being retired and he’ll find something to do that he likes soon enough. I wish I had tried harder to give him more ideas.
I think most of you know that Marcus is my hero, my rock, my love; man, how many “my’s” do I have with him. It was time to have the “talk.” He wrote it was “Tough Love,” I’m pretty sure I know exactly what that means now. And he does too, about time dammit! I sat him down and just laid it out, what he was doing to himself and us too. He didn’t like when I told him that we were headed back to the time when we weren’t good for each other. I don’t think he realized how it was affecting me, I’m not sure that I knew exactly how much myself.
YUP, I HAVE ONE
MARCUS BIRTHDAY, NOW THAT’S A MORE FUN TOPIC
Marc did write a little about his birthday and was sorry that he couldn’t write a whole chapter for you like before. Well, I’m not sure I could either. We didn’t go anywhere for a lot of good reasons too. The California fires are bad, and some are really close by us. The smoke is ridiculous, and it makes me cough a lot when I don’t wear a mask outside. Even swimming is not fun some days unless the smoke is high up in the sky. The Covid thing is back everywhere and there are some stupid people who won’t vaccinate themselves or use face masks until it’s too late for them. What the fuck guys! I’m not the smartest guy around, but I sure don’t want to die yet! I’ve got a whole lot of loving left in me. Hahah! Why did I write I was laughing, this is fucking serious shit we are all dealing with. Why are some people not treating it responsibly? Stupid!
Anyhow I guess I was on my soapbox there. I planned on giving Marc a birthday reason to snap out of his funky crap. It worked too, or he’s a damn good actor. Nope, it worked. I had been awake for a very long time the morning of his birthday. IDK maybe it was 3 or 4 in the morning. I had been laying on my side watching him breathe in and out, his chest was rising and falling so he’s definitely alive! He was mumbling something, sometimes too low to understand, maybe just a dream. He had pushed off the sheet covering him during the night, it’s been an little warm at night. I do the same thing myself. (I chose this picture to be Marc while I was watching him. Marcus has way more chest hair than this guy, and maybe not so big downstairs. Sorry Marc, but he looked sexy just like you do while you are sleeping sometimes.)
When I came back from my bathroom trip, I just sat in a chair at his side of the bed, still fascinated with watching my naked Marcus. I could see a lot more of him in the dawns light now. Man, he really looks great with his weight loss, you gotta know that’s not important to me, but it sure is for him. He belly is gone now, and his hips really show up when he’s on his side. One thing I noticed is that his chest and especially belly hair seems denser now. I guess less belly means crowded space for hair. He looks even hotter than ever now; and he didn’t pay me to write that. Maybe he should. Hahah. I should have been more into his weight loss than I was. I’m not into changing anything about him, he was perfect as far I was concerned. But he really is rocking his newer size. I will try to compliment him more because he deserves it. I mean I know he’s doing this for me as much as himself. Maybe more for himself, it’s about time too.
TWO PEAS IN A POD
I’m glad we have our differences but we’re alike in so many ways too. “BM,” (before Marcus), I had no idea that one day I’d wonder about having sex with a guy; I’d say mostly never. But that did change and I’m glad we are what Marcus calls “versatile” I know what that means now. Really well too. On his birthday I got really turned on watching him for hours and had to do something about it. I was hard as a rock just looking at his naked body. Besides he was sleeping too long anyway, so I climbed on him and fixed a couple of our parts so he could feel me rubbing on him. He didn’t budge, I can fix that, I know what he likes and headed right up to them. That got him awake or he stopped faking sleep and got me even hornier than I already was. It was an awesome start for his birthday, and it got way better too.
He told you that I wanted to spend time in the huge shower with him, but I wanted to relive the days when he was recovering from his knee surgery. Yeah, I said that for real, but I really wanted to be in charge of whatever happened next. It was my gift, I guess. Marc had no problem letting me do anything I wanted with him. So, I did. Lots of stuff I could write about, like you don’t already know what anyway. I think I wore out both of us for a while. Like hours!
There are so many things about this house that I love, but there’s one place that I’d miss way more if we moved. That huge shower room in the master bathroom. Like it’s a glass brick room in the bathroom for partying in.
Can you believe that this is the 16th time I’ve written something for the blog? I have a hard time thinking I had so much to say in the first place! But I’m happy to be writing again because I sure as fuck love talking to you guys. I’m happy that some of you guys like to read what I have to say about us. You gave me the confidence that I was lacking. Maybe you could call it not believing in myself, or who cares what I’m thinking about anyway. I’m so glad you do. I wish more of you would write me back though, I love getting to know you guys. Now I should get to writing something better than this stuff huh.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t write another chapter until I got “Mopey Marcus” to get through the crap he was dealing with. I’m sorry if that sounds like I didn’t care about his handling of not feeling important or useful after retirement, because I did. But I know personally that it can get very dark if you don’t deal with it or seek help. He was back to hiding himself to me and that really pissed me off! I thought we were always gonna be up front and truthful with each other. He wasn’t hiding anything good enough to fool me. Some days I felt like we had gone back to the months before we had our first weekend away together. Whatever I said, he’d say it was only me, he was fine. Yeah right! Man, don’t fucking treat me like a stupid kid. I might not be so sophisticated as him, or as talented, but I fucking feel stuff just like him or you guys. He said it in his chapter, that I was fed up with it and had to start doing something about it. He got that right!
You know I’m more upset with myself for letting him get away with that for so long. Some of what he was going through happened when I was away at work. When I came back home from work, he didn’t seem any more than kinda bored with nothing to do. I figured it’s part of being retired and he’ll find something to do that he likes soon enough. I wish I had tried harder to give him more ideas.
I think most of you know that Marcus is my hero, my rock, my love; man, how many “my’s” do I have with him. It was time to have the “talk.” He wrote it was “Tough Love,” I’m pretty sure I know exactly what that means now. And he does too, about time dammit! I sat him down and just laid it out, what he was doing to himself and us too. He didn’t like when I told him that we were headed back to the time when we weren’t good for each other. I don’t think he realized how it was affecting me, I’m not sure that I knew exactly how much myself.
YUP, I HAVE ONE
Before you start to think I’m an asshole about this, please don’t, but I have one though. 😜 I guess I’m not done ragging on about his depression yet; I got more stuff yet.
The thing that pissed me off was not how Marcus acted around me, but how he was acting when I wasn’t at home. You probably want to know how I knew that. I’d call him from work sometimes or see that nothing was getting done around the place when I got home. Not like before. Even when Marc was working from home, things got done. Dinner was ready when I got home, or the place just looked clean and not cluttered. I never realized how much I liked a clean uncluttered home and I don’t mind jumping in to get the work done. Marcus is so proud of his gourmet kitchen, it always looked clean and ready for whatever we wanted to do. Not in the last few weeks though. The kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes or pans or silverware from the day. Stuff was left on the big island and not put away. I’d not say anything and just start putting the shit away or load the dishwasher when I got home. Sometimes dinner wasn’t even planned yet, that was so new to me it kinda hurt! But I’d be damned if I’d figure out what to make for dinner after the 45 minutes or longer commute home, especially when he’s been home all day. I just say, “put some fucking pants on; we’ll get something to eat out.” He would and make some kind of excuse why he forgot to start dinner. I knew exactly why; I’ve been there myself during the dark part of my life, I might just be a fucking expert on depression anyway.
Okay I guess I’m through writing about stuff that seems to be over with now. I’ve wanted to talk to you guys for so long now, but nope, not until I got my old Marcus back! I’m pretty sure he’s back now, better be. I guess he has had it with his own behavior himself, he didn’t need me making it even worse. Well, he did finally put a chapter together for the blog, but it took him long enough though.
Now back to me, this is my chapter now. Hahah! Besides I missed reading your comments and letters. Okay you can start writing me again now! I don’t want to talk about depression stuff anymore. It’s depressing.
MARCUS BIRTHDAY, NOW THAT’S A MORE FUN TOPIC
Marc did write a little about his birthday and was sorry that he couldn’t write a whole chapter for you like before. Well, I’m not sure I could either. We didn’t go anywhere for a lot of good reasons too. The California fires are bad, and some are really close by us. The smoke is ridiculous, and it makes me cough a lot when I don’t wear a mask outside. Even swimming is not fun some days unless the smoke is high up in the sky. The Covid thing is back everywhere and there are some stupid people who won’t vaccinate themselves or use face masks until it’s too late for them. What the fuck guys! I’m not the smartest guy around, but I sure don’t want to die yet! I’ve got a whole lot of loving left in me. Hahah! Why did I write I was laughing, this is fucking serious shit we are all dealing with. Why are some people not treating it responsibly? Stupid!
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| This could be Marcus sleeping, maybe. |
When I came back from my bathroom trip, I just sat in a chair at his side of the bed, still fascinated with watching my naked Marcus. I could see a lot more of him in the dawns light now. Man, he really looks great with his weight loss, you gotta know that’s not important to me, but it sure is for him. He belly is gone now, and his hips really show up when he’s on his side. One thing I noticed is that his chest and especially belly hair seems denser now. I guess less belly means crowded space for hair. He looks even hotter than ever now; and he didn’t pay me to write that. Maybe he should. Hahah. I should have been more into his weight loss than I was. I’m not into changing anything about him, he was perfect as far I was concerned. But he really is rocking his newer size. I will try to compliment him more because he deserves it. I mean I know he’s doing this for me as much as himself. Maybe more for himself, it’s about time too.
TWO PEAS IN A POD
I’m glad we have our differences but we’re alike in so many ways too. “BM,” (before Marcus), I had no idea that one day I’d wonder about having sex with a guy; I’d say mostly never. But that did change and I’m glad we are what Marcus calls “versatile” I know what that means now. Really well too. On his birthday I got really turned on watching him for hours and had to do something about it. I was hard as a rock just looking at his naked body. Besides he was sleeping too long anyway, so I climbed on him and fixed a couple of our parts so he could feel me rubbing on him. He didn’t budge, I can fix that, I know what he likes and headed right up to them. That got him awake or he stopped faking sleep and got me even hornier than I already was. It was an awesome start for his birthday, and it got way better too.
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| Our glass brick mega shower room. |
There are so many things about this house that I love, but there’s one place that I’d miss way more if we moved. That huge shower room in the master bathroom. Like it’s a glass brick room in the bathroom for partying in.
I’m gonna get off track by talking about this, but the hard water out here does stain the glass and is a bitch to clean. I don’t know why the builders of this place didn’t plan on a water softener for the house. Anyway, other than that, we have had more sex in there than any other place I’m sure. I bet the guys who built this glass room got so horny that they were the first ones to use it! Hahah, I’m back to horny again just writing about it!
But that wasn’t the end of the fun that day. Like I said, we didn’t go anywhere, didn’t need to, we have the best private place around and we used all the around too.
MORE IN POOL TALK WITH JOE
While me and Joe were still in the pool and really destroying his route stops for the day, he seemed like he just wanted to spend more time with me. It didn’t help that I started asking him different questions just get to know him much better, but nothing about that big hose between his legs. Oh, I wanted to though. One day when I find the guts maybe I will. You know he had no problem demonstrating how his foreskin worked for me once. Anyway, I did ask him what he thought about Marcus for all the years before I moved in with him.
Joe asked me a question before he answered mine. (I don’t know why but lately most of my questions get answered with a question first.) He wanted to know if Marc and I were more than just roommates. I decided to tell him the truth, not leave him wondering, and why not anyway. I told him we were a couple and loved each other very much. He said he figured that was the case and was happy for us. He asked about Marc’s wife Lisa and if I was married too. I told him yes, I was and that they were living next door in my house and were a couple too. This time he was the one saying, “Really.” All I said was, “strange huh?” We both kinda laughed just a little before he got to answering my question.
Joe said he really liked and respected Marcus very much. (I guess you must know that the names we use in the blog are not what he calls us.) However, that Marcus was way out of his league, that I was more like him, and he was comfortable with me. Well, that makes sense why he could get naked in the pool with me, I guess. I told him he was way off base about Marcus though. Joe was real firm about his feelings and said, “Look at the size of this place and pool, and he’s a big wheel in his company, right. Obviously, he doesn’t know about Marc’s retirement yet. But he did say that he thought Marcus was very handsome man and had a nice personality. See, I’m not the only one who thinks Marc is good looking. Then he said that he used to be scared that he’d screw up and Marcus would fire him, that he needed this account because it was his biggest and he works the hardest to keep it. I told him how beautiful the water always looks, and that we never have itchy skin from the chemicals he uses and that I never smell chlorine. Joe thanked me and said that was wonderful to hear. I thought to myself, why didn’t Marcus tell him this himself, no wonder the guy is scared of him.
JOE ASKED ABOUT MARCUS AND ME WHEN WE FIRST MET
IDK, but somehow, I thought I should try to change Joe’s mind about Marcus. I’ve met lots of the snobs who live near us, and I don’t know how Marc puts up with their shitty attitude. Just because you live in a big fucking house doesn’t mean you have to act all better than everybody. My house next door is not as grand as Marc’s place, but it is kinda large. Yeah, way larger than our old house in South Sac. Now I wonder what it is about me that makes me feel safer to open up to than Marcus. I’m one of three partners at my firm, so I’m a boss too. Maybe not the COO but I do have a say so at work. So, I wonder what it is about me that makes him feel that way, maybe I should ask him, maybe not. I wonder if he’d feel the same way if I acted like the old Mark instead of how I am now. I’d rather he not know about the old me.
I tried to tell him a bit about meeting Marcus over ten years ago. I won’t go into stuff we both wrote about, I hope. But I was a little like Joe back then too. My wife Ellen told me about Marcus from the stories Marc’s wife Lisa told her. I told him our wives knew each other well before we ever moved to Granite Bay, especially the part that he was the guy who ran a big corporation as the Operations Officer. Big fucking deal huh? I had just a couple of years working at my job but was gonna get a better position real soon. Joe wanted to know more about how we got to be best friends. Wow, I didn’t think it get that deep, I wonder if I know myself.
I told him that I actually got to meet him in our common side yards and told myself I’d be happy if he was just young like me, (I was 44 years old when we moved in), but I still figured he’d be kinda snobby and full of himself. I thought that Marcus was a really good-looking guy, all tan and looked nothing like me. That was a big plus. But the best thing about him was how friendly he was to me, and he made lots of little jokes. I was so relieved that he was young like me. I really wanted to have a neighbor friend my age that I could count on, my old neighbors, not so much. I was a regular pass out drunk in that neighborhood, but I did get sober a couple of years before moving. I kicked my drug dependency years before. I didn’t mind telling him about that part of my life at all. That was a surprise.
Joe seemed okay with what little I told him about and said it was time to get busy if he was going to get done before dark that day. He got out of the pool before me and picked up the pool brush and started on the shallow end of the pool, just as naked as he was in the pool with me. I’m glad he doesn’t know about this journal and the things we write about because I really find looking at him all naked kinda hot. I’m still fascinated with big uncut dicks, and he seems okay showing it off, maybe I would too if I had one myself. Nah, I’m not that liberal yet. I do wonder sometimes now about guys like him taking pictures of their monster dicks to put on the Internet. I guess they are really proud of them, maybe all guys want one themselves. Not me, maybe Marc does, I like my dick just the way it is and that goes for Marc’s dick too. I always look forward to Joe’s stops here now and I’m so glad we are both okay getting naked like its normal or something. I guess I’m coming outta my shell that protected me for so long. Now I have two friends that don’t make me self-conscious about being so furry or naked. It feels so good not to be concerned about that, I hope I’ll continue to get more comfortable around others some day soon.
AN OFFICIAL SIDETRACK HERE
IDK if I ever told you why we don’t use the word ‘cock’ very much in the blog, and I apologize to all you guys named ‘Dick’ that get annoyed when we use it. I have a history with Marc that I’m not proud of, I used more gay slurs than I should have trying to hide behind those words. Cocksucker was used not in a good way, and I hate even writing that word now. Cock sucking, dick sucking, whatever you call it is pretty fucking great, especially with someone you love. See I can say that without even blushing now, and even with a tanned face you can tell when it’s blushed big time! Hahah. I guess you can tell I’m stretching to find stuff to write about huh. Writing is like going to confessions with the priest, awkward.
WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE OLD SHIT YOU’VE READ BEFORE, I’M IN THAT MOOD NOW
I think I’ve written once that I truly believed that I was a regular straight guy; married for a long time, had two kids grown now but not married, and no grandchildren yet. I’ve never been attracted to men at least I don’t think so. Uh uh, not that afternoon. I’ve never been turned on so much, and it shocked me. I think my smile made my cheeks hurt for a long time afterward. I hope I didn’t get a noticeable hard-on because I had one. He even had this cool looking hairy chest, but it was almost hard to see, his tan almost matched the hair color. I noticed everything, missed nothing including the very visible outline of his dick bulge in his tight shorts. That surprised the shit out of me, not that I could see it, but that it turned me on. A lot happened to help build our new friendship that day, but the best was how he asked me questions and listened to my answers and always looked me in my eyes while talking to me.
MORE FUN INFO FOR YOU
I gotta tell you about this picture in the bubble. Back when I wrote my 6th chapter, I asked Marc if he’d help me fix up my pictures kinda special. I wanted them to look different than his. Anyway, when he saw this one, he asked if that was supposed to be him. Of course, I said, and he just laughed really hard. He said no way the guys are gonna believe that is supposed to be him. I told him you might think that guy is different, but he looks just like you did. So, he laughed even harder. I said that maybe he doesn’t see himself the way I do. I wonder what he thinks about himself now that his gut is gone. The only thing that didn’t look like Marc in the picture was his gut, it stood out a little more back then. But I loved the picture and wanted to use it again one day, hey, it’s one day again! Now it really looks like him.
We became fast friends quickly after that first meeting and found out that we both loved coffee. So, we used getting coffee to learn all about each other. I knew inside my gut that I was turned-on around him and that was going to be a problem I didn’t know how to handle except deny it. He never gave me the idea that he was attracted to me at all. That made it a little easier since all I had to do was bury my feelings deep inside me. I created this homophobic character that I learned from the guys I worked with to cover me. And did so for many years afterwards, really fucking long-ass years, ask Marcus. And I got really good at playing this dude in front of him. I hated myself for doing that, but I was committed that was what I needed to do because I never wanted to lose him as a buddy. I was okay jacking-off later to settle down after the coffee talks. He really had that effect on me, talk about messing with my head.
I know this may be all old news to some of you guys, but I’m in one of those moods today. After writing about my talks with Joe, it brought up old thoughts. I like remembering stuff now that I know how it all turned out. Marcus told me that I should come over for a swim one day with him. I said I would mostly because I wanted to see what his backyard looked like. As you know about me, I was careful to hide stuff about me that might get unwanted comments. I had the worst self-image problem to deal with. I covered my problem of being super thin by working out for years, but I did have this fur thing that makes me look different from most guys. Maybe you read it some time ago, I did let Ellen talk me into shaving my whole body, biggest fucking mistake ever! It started growing back almost immediately and it itched all over. Never again! Anyway, I really did want to take Marc’s offer up for a swim in his pool, but I don’t look good in a swimsuit, well in my mind I don’t. I had these long shorts, Marc calls them “board shorts” I call them “it covers lots of hairy parts shorts.” What was not covered was okay with me, lots of men have hairy lower legs, right. The problem was with my chest, no problem I wore a T-shirt and kept it on in the pool. You can imagine my body in a wet T-shirt huh, it doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I figured Marc would wonder why someone that looked like me would want to cover himself up.
You know, I was wrong about Marcus, he never said a word about my clothing choices, later I read he was put off with my board shorts big time. But not because they covered lots of me, he thought they belong on young guys, not guys our age. I thought I’d be very nervous that first time over there, but Marc couldn’t be more friendly and really cool to be with. His pool was really super long and great for lap swimming and warm too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a yard so pretty; I mean the landscaping was dense and you’d never know he had neighbors. I liked that a lot. Marcus wore a regular swimsuit, and he was heavier than he is now. I say that because he really has a new body now. He was a lot thicker back ten or eleven years ago, I thought he looked very manly, not really overweight that much. Guys that look like him make me feel safe, bigger guys always watched my back growing up. I got bullied a lot and beat up sometimes, a bigger guy always got me back up on my feet and cared for me. I never understood why skinny little kids get bullied, maybe it was just me. But I got to love the guys that cared enough to help me. Marcus kinda looked like the kind of guy that I’m talking about, maybe not as large, but I did feel safe with him.
After a couple swimming invites Marcus made it clear that I could take my damn shirt off, that he could see I had a great body through the wet shirt. He joked that maybe I was trying to win a wet T-shirt contest. I laughed at his joke but feared that time would come, I just hoped much later. I did take off my wet T-shirt and it was a struggle since it really was clinging to me. I was ready to cringe once he saw my naked upper body, and I waited and waited, but not a word came. We just carried on with whatever we were taking about before the shirt removal. Don’t think for one minute that I felt that comfortable, even though he said nothing, what was he thinking about me now.
The next time I went for a swim with him, I took my shirt off but still had the board shorts as a swimsuit. I really don’t know why for sure; he obviously didn’t care about my hairy nature. Like I said, I don’t know, and it was years ago anyway. But during one of those swim times Marcus said that it’s so private in his yard that he swims naked when alone. Okay, that was a scary thought. I bet I gulped and said nothing, maybe, “Oh yeah?” Or something just as stupid. I figured it’s coming he’s gonna ask me to swim naked with him one day. He didn’t though, but he put this in my head now. I didn’t know what he might want from me, we’re both married, he wouldn’t want to get funny on me right? I might have been scared about doing anything for real with him, but I had a whole new jack-off theme now. I mean it too, it’s all I thought about and fought off as hard as I could afterwards. This had to be fantasy only. Period!
After a couple of swim dates between us, there were other times that included our wives and a BBQ as well, but I’m just keeping to Marc and me for a while. He did want to talk about my furry body and why I seemed to try and hide it from him. That’s my Marcus, get right to the fucking point, yank off the bandage kinda guy. He’s not stupid, he knew I was self-conscious about it, I wasn’t hiding that very well. He asked but answered his question without giving me time to respond. He said that he was kinda jealous that he didn’t have enough manly body hair and that I was the hottest looking guy he ever saw. No, he can’t mean that, he’s just being nice to me. But he meant it and that he wished that I’d be more comfortable around him, and he’d try not to stare at me, even when he wanted to. That’s funny to me.
You know I told you we were into hugging, no, that’s not right, I was into hugging; he learned to like that. I asked him if he’d mind if I hugged him over his comments, that I really wanted to hug him. No one ever said stuff like that to me and it really got to me. He said he’d love to hug me and got up to do so. It was the first time I hugged a guy because I wanted to. I knew I was going to have my first best friend ever, and he lived right next door and was the sexiest man I ever met in person. Man was I ever gonna be in trouble if this goes like I think it will!
That was over ten years ago, and I did get my first and only best friend in the world. Now I have my best friend as my partner, and I get to be with him all the time. We’ve had our good times and some not so good over the years and it’s because we were not completely honest with each other. That will never happen again! Better not! Right Marcus!
I THINK ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS
WHEN WE GOT REALLY HONEST WITH EACH OTHER
That is gonna take some thinking for me, it’s been so many years now. I don’t think we did until our trip together a couple of years ago. Yeah, but I think we both thought alike, just didn’t have it in us to find out for sure. I know I was always afraid that I’d lose what I did have as buddies, it wasn’t worth loosing that. I tell you one thing about us; Marc is the better actor because he never gave up a clue about what he was thinking for real about me. And then I think about how he got to the position he had at work, probably exactly what it takes besides Pops wanting him there.
We were such good buddies for such a long time, I always loved every time we got together, including with our wives. We just cracked each other up and it mostly pissed-off the wives. I think we did it on purpose. Not too hard to get that our wives wondered about us. After years of being best friends we began thinking alike and could finish each other’s thoughts or punchlines. I bet you guys have had friends like that too, right.
When did it get very real was at the lake a couple of years ago. Once we opened that door, like Marc said, “I slammed it shut behind me.” You know after thinking about that time, I was pretty aggressive with him, I knew finally that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. There was no reason to get stupid about it, I wanted to try every single thing I fantasized about with him over the years, and dammit, I was not going home before I tried. No stopping either one of us too, there was nothing to lose except the time that was moving faster to the going home part.
It can’t be too difficult for you to know, if you’ve read all the chapters, I really wanted this from almost day one. I was just a fucking coward, only because I didn’t want to lose him. If Marcus was a coward, he’ll have to admit it himself, I don’t think he was at all. He just wanted to protect himself and you can see that right now because he still hides who he really is. I gotta be fair, you really know a lot more about him than you think. He’s given you a big picture of himself and me in so many chapters of the blog. I mean even down to the picture I gave him that he uses for himself that could be his brother for crying out loud. I sometimes want to say, “get over it, the guys love you man.” It’s really not important anyway, you get to see what’s in his heart all the time, and that’s more important.
I’m kinda sorry right now for writing so much stuff, I hope it wasn’t fluff. I really don’t want this to end just yet. I’m so freaking happy inside right now. I’m back in our home office, I think my Sweetbabes is finally over the shit he was going through, and I hope it was me that helped him the most. Marcus is back at his desk writing stuff for a college business course he wants to teach. That’s one good reason why it took him so long to finish his latest chapter. I’m looking at him writing on his iPad at his desk right now, he may need to buy a laptop soon; his iPad looks so dinky on that massive desk of his. Hahah.
The only way I can stop writing this is to go over and get all sexy on him. Ya sexy ain’t gonna cover what I want. Now if I could get my dick to act more like his, it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable in my shorts right now. I’m sorry guys, I get really horny sometimes writing about him and me. Yeah, I’m there right now!
P.S.
Whoops, one more thing, I’m not gonna post this until Marc’s chapter gets a chance to be read for up to 100 times. I’m so happy he’s back to writing that I’m not gonna step on that for now, maybe later. Okay, now I’m done. I think.
Read Marc’s new Chapter 78nwith this link:
But that wasn’t the end of the fun that day. Like I said, we didn’t go anywhere, didn’t need to, we have the best private place around and we used all the around too.
MARCUS BLABS TOO MUCH STUFF
Marcus blabbed about how I shopped all by myself like it’s the first-time baby walked on his own. I shop now, lots of times, he just doesn’t always know everything I do. But I did shop for his birthday dinner, and I saw the price of beef and just about shit my pants! Some cuts were $39.98 a pound, not that we can’t afford it, but damn! No fucking way! So, I looked for pork ribs, the meaty kind, we both love those. Marc wrote about my meal, but he didn’t say anything about the nice flowers I bought for his birthday dinner. Maybe he forgot about it, but I personally know how much he loves getting flowers.
Writing about that brought up an old memory, fucking years ago now. I was in the hospital for a week or so because my appendix burst, and it was serious shit for me. My new friend Marcus visited me every day and spent hours with me. And he brought flowers to me, I remember they were yellow and made the room look bright. No one else brought me flowers, not even my wife. But he did and man I wanted him to be my best friend forever. We got very close back then. That operation changed how we treated each other when I came back home. Marc even visited me at my house since I still was recovering. Funny how you start writing something, and old memories just pop up in your head. I’m sorry if this is annoying to read.
Anyway, I guess my point was flowers are not just for women, some guys like sentimental things too. Well, we do anyway, I don’t know about you guys. They were just a bunch of mixed colors and I have no idea what some of the flowers are called, they just looked nice, and I thought he’d like them. BTW he did and thanked me for them, see I was right to buy them. I bought him some of his favorite Merlot wine too, I keep lots of club soda in the house for me. I bet I could safely drink a glass of wine with him, but I like only beer and that’s something I can’t ever have again. No worries, I’ve been sober for a long time now and it’s fucking gonna stay that way too.
I felt kinda sorry that we couldn’t get away for his birthday, but I already told you why. And because of the fires and lakes that are drying up out here, we stopped talking about buying a cabin in the woods or lake. Maybe one day something on the coast would be better. But every time I think about that I remind myself about the awesome place we have here and the ability to just be ourselves in total privacy. We still are nudists or naturists, whatever you want to call it around here. Sometimes I fantasize that there’s a chance we are not so secure here when naked, that someone is peeking through the bushes and then I give them something to look at too. Okay that’s just fantasy, but it does show my growth from old Mark, right? 😂
POPS FACETIMES WITH ME
Marc told me that Pops would like it if I FaceTimed him more often. Maybe you read that Marc gave Pops an iPhone recently and taught him how to use FaceTime. I was a little surprised at how easy it was for him to learn to use it. IDK maybe I thought older guys would have a hard time, you know he still had his flip phone for years. It’s small and folds up to put in his pocket was good enough for him. Anyway, Marc and Pops talk lots of times, at least Marc says so, I’m not here all the time to notice. Pops has even FaceTimed me while I was in my Elk Grove work office. I told him I’d call him back at my lunch break.
So, I did call him back on FaceTime and even far away in Mexico, the picture was so clear. Pops just wanted to talk to me I guess he just missed me. Wow, I was missed by him. It really moved me, so I thought maybe I should write about that. Man, I think I really get why Marcus started the journal blog when he did now. It really helps to write about your feelings; when we grew up feelings were supposed to be for girls, at least that’s how I was brought up. (BTW, this is not Pops in the picture, but I think it gives you a good idea of what he looks like and how much hair he has for an 81-year-old, the old dude rocks his hair.)
The real reason Pops wanted to talk to me was because he was concerned about Marc’s behavior in the past several weeks. I don’t like being a snitch on Marcus, but I was really concerned about Marcus too. Man, he went through a fucking knee replacement surgery and recovery much better than retirement. So, I told him everything I knew and thought about and then asked him how he was handling his retirement in Mexico. He said retirement was great, time to play golf, take walks on the beach with Sarah and more. But he said its pretty hot and humid down there right now. I told him about our heat wave and that’s it’s hot everywhere in the West. And I told him about the fires too. Pops told me that he keeps up with the news on his iPhone and knows about the fires and was sorry to hear.
We talked about Marcus a lot and he gave me some ideas to get Marcus out of his funk. I told you at the start of the chapter that I used some tough love on him; it was Pops who gave me the ideas and said he’s done that himself years ago when Marcus was struggling with what life threw at him. Marcus has a past I’m not so aware of, I guess. Maybe I was too focused on myself to even go there. Well, more stuff to talk about one day. I’d hate to know everything and never expect something new to find out.
I asked him if he was okay with me calling him “Pops” just like Marcus does. I do know his name, but I’d want to address him as “Mister” and his last name. I can’t use it here, it’s still a Marcus thing about protecting privacy. He told me he would be honored if I always called him “Pops” too. He told me straight out that he liked me a lot and loved how I take care of Marcus when he needs me. He also said some really embarrassing things about me and I’m not sure I want to write about that here. Maybe one day though. Like it was a compliment I think, it was just weird coming from an older man, I guess. I don’t think it would be so weird coming from Marc though, he’s an older man, hahah. Marc had a birthday in June and he’s now 5 years older than me. Actually, he’s only 4 and ½ years older, my birthday is in December. But now I can call him the old fart around here. In December he’s back to only 4 years older, but still the old fart! (Man, I can really get sidetracked huh. Go figure I’d pick that up from Marcus.) Anyway, I promised Pops I’d call him more often. I love having a Pops in my life, even if he embarrasses me with his comments. I bet after Marc reads this, he’ll bug me until I tell him what Pops said.
I BET YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT JOE OUR POOL GUY
I know some of you guys would like to know how it’s going with our cool pool guy, Joe. I could have said sexy guy, but Marcus is that one around here. I’m not just saying that to make him feel good, it’s true. I bet I’ll write something about that later too. Joe is my newest friend, that’s makes three if you count Pops! I’m not the biggest let’s go make new friends guy. And please don’t think I’m overlooking you guys, because I know I have lots of you as friends. I meant guys we see in person.
Joe fascinates me, he’s nothing like us if you know what I mean, if not, check the pictures here that I picked out to be him in my chapter 10. I never thought much about guys with big dicks before. No wonder, I never saw one for real anyway. And if you read that chapter, you know I’m fascinated with uncut dicks now, especially ones with really little dick holes. Man, I saw him push his foreskin back behind the head of his dick and I still can’t believe it could do that. And that skin went right back the way it was, little dick hole and all. Okay enough with dick holes and big dicks. It tickles me big time that I know someone that looks like that and is okay getting naked around us. I bet you know that I’d never admit to any of that as Mark. Every day I get to like Larry more than the last day.
Marcus blabbed about how I shopped all by myself like it’s the first-time baby walked on his own. I shop now, lots of times, he just doesn’t always know everything I do. But I did shop for his birthday dinner, and I saw the price of beef and just about shit my pants! Some cuts were $39.98 a pound, not that we can’t afford it, but damn! No fucking way! So, I looked for pork ribs, the meaty kind, we both love those. Marc wrote about my meal, but he didn’t say anything about the nice flowers I bought for his birthday dinner. Maybe he forgot about it, but I personally know how much he loves getting flowers.
Writing about that brought up an old memory, fucking years ago now. I was in the hospital for a week or so because my appendix burst, and it was serious shit for me. My new friend Marcus visited me every day and spent hours with me. And he brought flowers to me, I remember they were yellow and made the room look bright. No one else brought me flowers, not even my wife. But he did and man I wanted him to be my best friend forever. We got very close back then. That operation changed how we treated each other when I came back home. Marc even visited me at my house since I still was recovering. Funny how you start writing something, and old memories just pop up in your head. I’m sorry if this is annoying to read.
Anyway, I guess my point was flowers are not just for women, some guys like sentimental things too. Well, we do anyway, I don’t know about you guys. They were just a bunch of mixed colors and I have no idea what some of the flowers are called, they just looked nice, and I thought he’d like them. BTW he did and thanked me for them, see I was right to buy them. I bought him some of his favorite Merlot wine too, I keep lots of club soda in the house for me. I bet I could safely drink a glass of wine with him, but I like only beer and that’s something I can’t ever have again. No worries, I’ve been sober for a long time now and it’s fucking gonna stay that way too.
I felt kinda sorry that we couldn’t get away for his birthday, but I already told you why. And because of the fires and lakes that are drying up out here, we stopped talking about buying a cabin in the woods or lake. Maybe one day something on the coast would be better. But every time I think about that I remind myself about the awesome place we have here and the ability to just be ourselves in total privacy. We still are nudists or naturists, whatever you want to call it around here. Sometimes I fantasize that there’s a chance we are not so secure here when naked, that someone is peeking through the bushes and then I give them something to look at too. Okay that’s just fantasy, but it does show my growth from old Mark, right? 😂
POPS FACETIMES WITH ME
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| My Pops now too. |
So, I did call him back on FaceTime and even far away in Mexico, the picture was so clear. Pops just wanted to talk to me I guess he just missed me. Wow, I was missed by him. It really moved me, so I thought maybe I should write about that. Man, I think I really get why Marcus started the journal blog when he did now. It really helps to write about your feelings; when we grew up feelings were supposed to be for girls, at least that’s how I was brought up. (BTW, this is not Pops in the picture, but I think it gives you a good idea of what he looks like and how much hair he has for an 81-year-old, the old dude rocks his hair.)
The real reason Pops wanted to talk to me was because he was concerned about Marc’s behavior in the past several weeks. I don’t like being a snitch on Marcus, but I was really concerned about Marcus too. Man, he went through a fucking knee replacement surgery and recovery much better than retirement. So, I told him everything I knew and thought about and then asked him how he was handling his retirement in Mexico. He said retirement was great, time to play golf, take walks on the beach with Sarah and more. But he said its pretty hot and humid down there right now. I told him about our heat wave and that’s it’s hot everywhere in the West. And I told him about the fires too. Pops told me that he keeps up with the news on his iPhone and knows about the fires and was sorry to hear.
We talked about Marcus a lot and he gave me some ideas to get Marcus out of his funk. I told you at the start of the chapter that I used some tough love on him; it was Pops who gave me the ideas and said he’s done that himself years ago when Marcus was struggling with what life threw at him. Marcus has a past I’m not so aware of, I guess. Maybe I was too focused on myself to even go there. Well, more stuff to talk about one day. I’d hate to know everything and never expect something new to find out.
I asked him if he was okay with me calling him “Pops” just like Marcus does. I do know his name, but I’d want to address him as “Mister” and his last name. I can’t use it here, it’s still a Marcus thing about protecting privacy. He told me he would be honored if I always called him “Pops” too. He told me straight out that he liked me a lot and loved how I take care of Marcus when he needs me. He also said some really embarrassing things about me and I’m not sure I want to write about that here. Maybe one day though. Like it was a compliment I think, it was just weird coming from an older man, I guess. I don’t think it would be so weird coming from Marc though, he’s an older man, hahah. Marc had a birthday in June and he’s now 5 years older than me. Actually, he’s only 4 and ½ years older, my birthday is in December. But now I can call him the old fart around here. In December he’s back to only 4 years older, but still the old fart! (Man, I can really get sidetracked huh. Go figure I’d pick that up from Marcus.) Anyway, I promised Pops I’d call him more often. I love having a Pops in my life, even if he embarrasses me with his comments. I bet after Marc reads this, he’ll bug me until I tell him what Pops said.
I BET YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT JOE OUR POOL GUY
I know some of you guys would like to know how it’s going with our cool pool guy, Joe. I could have said sexy guy, but Marcus is that one around here. I’m not just saying that to make him feel good, it’s true. I bet I’ll write something about that later too. Joe is my newest friend, that’s makes three if you count Pops! I’m not the biggest let’s go make new friends guy. And please don’t think I’m overlooking you guys, because I know I have lots of you as friends. I meant guys we see in person.
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| Joe front and center |
(These pictures really do kinda look like him, I think. The guys looks about Joe’s age, but Joe might have a longer dick though. It really does flop around on him too. I have no idea why his dick fascinates me so much, yes, I do know!)
Yup, naked is still the rule around here. Joe doesn’t even bother to ask if he can strip down now. It turns out he’s a commando freak just like us, and his shorts are off as soon as he’s ready to work on the pool. I should say though that he did get our okay on this months ago. I bet Joe likes the freedom we gave him to do stuff he can’t at other stops, and I know he likes looking at us naked. Maybe Joe is a lot like I was when I first met Marcus. Everything I thought I was changed after meeting Marcus, maybe that is happening with Joe around me too.
Joe has caught Marc naked lots of times over the years and then after I moved in, he’s caught me a couple of times too. If Marcus was with me at the time, I didn’t seem to care that I was naked in front of Joe. I had become very comfortable around Joe; we were having coffee and conversations several times before I’d ever consider naked with him.
I think Joe kinda liked talking to me or maybe he’s just a friendly guy. It kinda made sense to me to ask him if he’d like to join us in the pool one day, so I did. But he just wore what he had on. I thought that was kinda dumb, now he’s going to be wearing wet shorts all day. The next time in he ditched the shorts after asking if it was cool with us.
You know there were several weeks when I was working at my Elk Grove office and missed his Tuesday visits. He actually switched his days with us to Thursday when I get to work from home. That ought to tell you he likes me huh. He should, he worked for Marcus for years and he never got to swim with him. I have no idea why I invited him to swim with us, other than I like talking to him and he does what I like most of all. He looks me in my eyes when we talk, just like Marcus does. You can’t be naked with someone and not see other stuff, but conversations are really real with him, no darting eyeballs. I never felt uncomfortable with him.
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| Coffee with all of furry me |
I remember the first time I brought him some coffee on our office deck shirtless. I wanted to see how nervous I’d get, but I didn’t at all. Of course, it never enters my mind that I have muscles under my furry chest that some guys might like to have themselves, I just don’t like gawkers. Or worse, talking about how hairy I am all over. (The picture is supposed to be me bringing coffee to Joe, except he’s naked. Only thing wrong is the color of his chest hair is more like Marc’s. Damn hard to find guys my color. I know what you’re thinking, use yourself. I just might one day, I’m getting there slowly but surely.)
When I’m in the pool with Joe we talk about all kind of stuff, sometimes it’s really personal too. He finally did get brave enough to ask me how old I was when I started to get furry. I was okay telling him, I know it’s just getting to know each other better. I told him it was before I was a teenager. I think I was around 10 years-old when my forearms got some fuzzy blond hair. That started the monkey-boy comments from some of the boys, at first, I laughed with them but soon I figured out they were making fun of me. It’s a good thing I didn’t wear shorts, or they’d have more ape comments for me. Joe said he was sorry to hear that, so I told him it’s not a problem for me now, that Marcus is really into my fur. Joe said, “not only Marcus, buddy.”
I remember saying, “Really?” What I wanted to say was, why? But I didn’t and he told me he remembered that morning I just wrote about and was fascinated with my body. That he never met anyone like me. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better! Nah, I knew what he was saying was a compliment. Joe caught what he said or how he said it and then asked if I had a problem when people might stare at me. That’s an easy question for Mark, getting less of a problem for Larry. I told him, “Yeah at times.” Joe said that he thinks he understood and hoped I didn’t mind him maybe staring at me himself. I had to laugh inside because I’m sure I didn’t out loud. He began stumbling over his words and kinda made it worse if I cared to be offended. He said that he never knew someone as light-haired as me and like all over too, and it was hard not to look at me. Then he said that he wished he had the kind of hairy chest that Marcus and I have because he didn’t think his was that good looking. At least that gave me a chance to tell him there was nothing wrong with his chest, he looked great the way he was. (I thought but didn’t say anything, that his chest hair was not what I tried not to get caught staring at though.)
As I’m writing this, I thought about how Marc stares at me, and how my furry chest drives him fucking crazy, and that feels awesome! What a welcomed change from the constant why don’t I use the body groomer Ellen bought me. Oh, she’d be so fucking pissed to know I actually do trim down my fur at times. Hahah.
Joe said he knew something about me from Marcus and thought he should tell me so we wouldn’t have secrets to keep. Okay, got my attention for sure. He said on one of his days here when I was at work Marcus told him how I used him as a test on how brave I’d be to take my shirt off in front of him. He said that he’d never guess I was self-conscious at all. Then he told me that he was so proud of me, and he was moved that he was the one I chose to do that with. Then he told me that he was a big fan of “muscle bears” on Twitter and it was so cool to finally meet one in person. I knew I was gonna like being called one now. Finally! If I only knew that when I was being bullied, huh!
Between Marc and me, we talk a lot about how much we are alike. Well, some parts, like the bald spots at the back of our heads, those could stop growing bigger! After hanging around Joe and his not like our dicks, I can now see how Marcus started harping on his grower problem. So, I guess I have a grower problem too. I never knew that before; it’s just a dick. Sometimes it got put away when I didn’t need it. It’s not a grower problem, it’s a solution. It comes out when I need it and it gets really hard when I really want it to, what’s the problem? And then I go ask Joe to get naked with us. Now I wonder do I have a problem? Then I think, where do you put a big dick like his when you don’t need it. I want so bad to ask him but I’m afraid to know. Hahah. Really, even when our dicks are almost hard, they’re no way as big as Joe’s. I’ll tell you something right now, I’d never let him put that thing in me! I bet he never got as good a blow job as we get at our size. Okay, I’m probably boring the shit out of you with my dick stories. But one last thing, okay. It really is fun to look at though. And I wish I could just touch it once. No, I don’t! Marcus, you have nothing to worry about, your dick is just the right size. (It better be, you know why.)
MORE IN POOL TALK WITH JOE
While me and Joe were still in the pool and really destroying his route stops for the day, he seemed like he just wanted to spend more time with me. It didn’t help that I started asking him different questions just get to know him much better, but nothing about that big hose between his legs. Oh, I wanted to though. One day when I find the guts maybe I will. You know he had no problem demonstrating how his foreskin worked for me once. Anyway, I did ask him what he thought about Marcus for all the years before I moved in with him.
Joe asked me a question before he answered mine. (I don’t know why but lately most of my questions get answered with a question first.) He wanted to know if Marc and I were more than just roommates. I decided to tell him the truth, not leave him wondering, and why not anyway. I told him we were a couple and loved each other very much. He said he figured that was the case and was happy for us. He asked about Marc’s wife Lisa and if I was married too. I told him yes, I was and that they were living next door in my house and were a couple too. This time he was the one saying, “Really.” All I said was, “strange huh?” We both kinda laughed just a little before he got to answering my question.
Joe said he really liked and respected Marcus very much. (I guess you must know that the names we use in the blog are not what he calls us.) However, that Marcus was way out of his league, that I was more like him, and he was comfortable with me. Well, that makes sense why he could get naked in the pool with me, I guess. I told him he was way off base about Marcus though. Joe was real firm about his feelings and said, “Look at the size of this place and pool, and he’s a big wheel in his company, right. Obviously, he doesn’t know about Marc’s retirement yet. But he did say that he thought Marcus was very handsome man and had a nice personality. See, I’m not the only one who thinks Marc is good looking. Then he said that he used to be scared that he’d screw up and Marcus would fire him, that he needed this account because it was his biggest and he works the hardest to keep it. I told him how beautiful the water always looks, and that we never have itchy skin from the chemicals he uses and that I never smell chlorine. Joe thanked me and said that was wonderful to hear. I thought to myself, why didn’t Marcus tell him this himself, no wonder the guy is scared of him.
JOE ASKED ABOUT MARCUS AND ME WHEN WE FIRST MET
IDK, but somehow, I thought I should try to change Joe’s mind about Marcus. I’ve met lots of the snobs who live near us, and I don’t know how Marc puts up with their shitty attitude. Just because you live in a big fucking house doesn’t mean you have to act all better than everybody. My house next door is not as grand as Marc’s place, but it is kinda large. Yeah, way larger than our old house in South Sac. Now I wonder what it is about me that makes me feel safer to open up to than Marcus. I’m one of three partners at my firm, so I’m a boss too. Maybe not the COO but I do have a say so at work. So, I wonder what it is about me that makes him feel that way, maybe I should ask him, maybe not. I wonder if he’d feel the same way if I acted like the old Mark instead of how I am now. I’d rather he not know about the old me.
I tried to tell him a bit about meeting Marcus over ten years ago. I won’t go into stuff we both wrote about, I hope. But I was a little like Joe back then too. My wife Ellen told me about Marcus from the stories Marc’s wife Lisa told her. I told him our wives knew each other well before we ever moved to Granite Bay, especially the part that he was the guy who ran a big corporation as the Operations Officer. Big fucking deal huh? I had just a couple of years working at my job but was gonna get a better position real soon. Joe wanted to know more about how we got to be best friends. Wow, I didn’t think it get that deep, I wonder if I know myself.
I told him that I actually got to meet him in our common side yards and told myself I’d be happy if he was just young like me, (I was 44 years old when we moved in), but I still figured he’d be kinda snobby and full of himself. I thought that Marcus was a really good-looking guy, all tan and looked nothing like me. That was a big plus. But the best thing about him was how friendly he was to me, and he made lots of little jokes. I was so relieved that he was young like me. I really wanted to have a neighbor friend my age that I could count on, my old neighbors, not so much. I was a regular pass out drunk in that neighborhood, but I did get sober a couple of years before moving. I kicked my drug dependency years before. I didn’t mind telling him about that part of my life at all. That was a surprise.
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| Joe back to work |
AN OFFICIAL SIDETRACK HERE
IDK if I ever told you why we don’t use the word ‘cock’ very much in the blog, and I apologize to all you guys named ‘Dick’ that get annoyed when we use it. I have a history with Marc that I’m not proud of, I used more gay slurs than I should have trying to hide behind those words. Cocksucker was used not in a good way, and I hate even writing that word now. Cock sucking, dick sucking, whatever you call it is pretty fucking great, especially with someone you love. See I can say that without even blushing now, and even with a tanned face you can tell when it’s blushed big time! Hahah. I guess you can tell I’m stretching to find stuff to write about huh. Writing is like going to confessions with the priest, awkward.
WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE OLD SHIT YOU’VE READ BEFORE, I’M IN THAT MOOD NOW
After writing about Joe and how things are going between us and the questions he was asking, I started to think about Marc and me over the years, especially before the journal and the big changes we went through. Without going back and reading everything we’ve written, I don’t know if the things I’m thinking about have been in the journal already. If so, guess what? It’s Summer Reruns again.
You can bet this wasn’t written yet. “Rest in Peace old Mark,” because me as Mark is history. Damn well better be! There’s nothing about that dude left in me that I want to keep, especially my uptight conservative self. I’m learning to be more like Marcus, it makes more sense to me now. Long live Larry!
When we first moved into the neighborhood, Ellen decided for me that I should try to meet up with my next-door neighbor Marcus, I was a little intimidated for sure. I heard all about him from her and I didn’t think we’d have anything in common other than being neighbors. Knowing what you do about our wives now, is it hard to believe that she would push me into meeting the dude? (Hahah! If she only knew how far what she was pushing would go. Maybe she did or hoped!)
She didn’t tell me what he looked like or how old he was. But one look at the mansion he was living in and the size of his landscaped front yard, I kinda figured he was a sugar-daddy older guy with a trophy wife. It was easy to figured out we are going to be from different worlds with nothing in common. It also didn’t help that Ellen told me he was really educated, like two master’s degrees from different universities. Hell, I have a master’s in civil engineering I’m no slouch, but I skated through college as an under grad, but did finally focus on what kind or engineering I wanted to get into and little else and continued partying as much as I could get away with.
Anyway, our meeting happened while I was struggling to get a handle on my new backyard because it’s way bigger than my old place and not really that developed yet, just a ton of grass to cut. I could hear waterfall sounds coming from my new neighbor’s backyard, but I couldn’t see into the yard to check it out. It seemed very private and filled with lots of trees and shrubs blocking my view. But I was getting very curious about what it could look like. His landscaping in front is very manicured and obviously done by someone who knows his business, I bet the back is too.
We met at our side gates, and he really shocked me, he was nothing like I imagined he’d look like, or as old, he was fucking young! But he didn’t look like a big boss to me. And he didn’t look anything like me, that was a big plus in my book! I pegged him as Italian immediately, I’ve always loved Italians, their food, hot ladies, their food; I like Italian food worth mentioning twice. I wrote before he was very brown, everywhere, hair, clothes, well just shorts, a gorgeous tan, and big puppy-dog brown eyes.
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| More Marcus than he thinks |
I gotta tell you about this picture in the bubble. Back when I wrote my 6th chapter, I asked Marc if he’d help me fix up my pictures kinda special. I wanted them to look different than his. Anyway, when he saw this one, he asked if that was supposed to be him. Of course, I said, and he just laughed really hard. He said no way the guys are gonna believe that is supposed to be him. I told him you might think that guy is different, but he looks just like you did. So, he laughed even harder. I said that maybe he doesn’t see himself the way I do. I wonder what he thinks about himself now that his gut is gone. The only thing that didn’t look like Marc in the picture was his gut, it stood out a little more back then. But I loved the picture and wanted to use it again one day, hey, it’s one day again! Now it really looks like him.
We became fast friends quickly after that first meeting and found out that we both loved coffee. So, we used getting coffee to learn all about each other. I knew inside my gut that I was turned-on around him and that was going to be a problem I didn’t know how to handle except deny it. He never gave me the idea that he was attracted to me at all. That made it a little easier since all I had to do was bury my feelings deep inside me. I created this homophobic character that I learned from the guys I worked with to cover me. And did so for many years afterwards, really fucking long-ass years, ask Marcus. And I got really good at playing this dude in front of him. I hated myself for doing that, but I was committed that was what I needed to do because I never wanted to lose him as a buddy. I was okay jacking-off later to settle down after the coffee talks. He really had that effect on me, talk about messing with my head.
I know this may be all old news to some of you guys, but I’m in one of those moods today. After writing about my talks with Joe, it brought up old thoughts. I like remembering stuff now that I know how it all turned out. Marcus told me that I should come over for a swim one day with him. I said I would mostly because I wanted to see what his backyard looked like. As you know about me, I was careful to hide stuff about me that might get unwanted comments. I had the worst self-image problem to deal with. I covered my problem of being super thin by working out for years, but I did have this fur thing that makes me look different from most guys. Maybe you read it some time ago, I did let Ellen talk me into shaving my whole body, biggest fucking mistake ever! It started growing back almost immediately and it itched all over. Never again! Anyway, I really did want to take Marc’s offer up for a swim in his pool, but I don’t look good in a swimsuit, well in my mind I don’t. I had these long shorts, Marc calls them “board shorts” I call them “it covers lots of hairy parts shorts.” What was not covered was okay with me, lots of men have hairy lower legs, right. The problem was with my chest, no problem I wore a T-shirt and kept it on in the pool. You can imagine my body in a wet T-shirt huh, it doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I figured Marc would wonder why someone that looked like me would want to cover himself up.
You know, I was wrong about Marcus, he never said a word about my clothing choices, later I read he was put off with my board shorts big time. But not because they covered lots of me, he thought they belong on young guys, not guys our age. I thought I’d be very nervous that first time over there, but Marc couldn’t be more friendly and really cool to be with. His pool was really super long and great for lap swimming and warm too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a yard so pretty; I mean the landscaping was dense and you’d never know he had neighbors. I liked that a lot. Marcus wore a regular swimsuit, and he was heavier than he is now. I say that because he really has a new body now. He was a lot thicker back ten or eleven years ago, I thought he looked very manly, not really overweight that much. Guys that look like him make me feel safe, bigger guys always watched my back growing up. I got bullied a lot and beat up sometimes, a bigger guy always got me back up on my feet and cared for me. I never understood why skinny little kids get bullied, maybe it was just me. But I got to love the guys that cared enough to help me. Marcus kinda looked like the kind of guy that I’m talking about, maybe not as large, but I did feel safe with him.
After a couple swimming invites Marcus made it clear that I could take my damn shirt off, that he could see I had a great body through the wet shirt. He joked that maybe I was trying to win a wet T-shirt contest. I laughed at his joke but feared that time would come, I just hoped much later. I did take off my wet T-shirt and it was a struggle since it really was clinging to me. I was ready to cringe once he saw my naked upper body, and I waited and waited, but not a word came. We just carried on with whatever we were taking about before the shirt removal. Don’t think for one minute that I felt that comfortable, even though he said nothing, what was he thinking about me now.
The next time I went for a swim with him, I took my shirt off but still had the board shorts as a swimsuit. I really don’t know why for sure; he obviously didn’t care about my hairy nature. Like I said, I don’t know, and it was years ago anyway. But during one of those swim times Marcus said that it’s so private in his yard that he swims naked when alone. Okay, that was a scary thought. I bet I gulped and said nothing, maybe, “Oh yeah?” Or something just as stupid. I figured it’s coming he’s gonna ask me to swim naked with him one day. He didn’t though, but he put this in my head now. I didn’t know what he might want from me, we’re both married, he wouldn’t want to get funny on me right? I might have been scared about doing anything for real with him, but I had a whole new jack-off theme now. I mean it too, it’s all I thought about and fought off as hard as I could afterwards. This had to be fantasy only. Period!
After a couple of swim dates between us, there were other times that included our wives and a BBQ as well, but I’m just keeping to Marc and me for a while. He did want to talk about my furry body and why I seemed to try and hide it from him. That’s my Marcus, get right to the fucking point, yank off the bandage kinda guy. He’s not stupid, he knew I was self-conscious about it, I wasn’t hiding that very well. He asked but answered his question without giving me time to respond. He said that he was kinda jealous that he didn’t have enough manly body hair and that I was the hottest looking guy he ever saw. No, he can’t mean that, he’s just being nice to me. But he meant it and that he wished that I’d be more comfortable around him, and he’d try not to stare at me, even when he wanted to. That’s funny to me.
You know I told you we were into hugging, no, that’s not right, I was into hugging; he learned to like that. I asked him if he’d mind if I hugged him over his comments, that I really wanted to hug him. No one ever said stuff like that to me and it really got to me. He said he’d love to hug me and got up to do so. It was the first time I hugged a guy because I wanted to. I knew I was going to have my first best friend ever, and he lived right next door and was the sexiest man I ever met in person. Man was I ever gonna be in trouble if this goes like I think it will!
That was over ten years ago, and I did get my first and only best friend in the world. Now I have my best friend as my partner, and I get to be with him all the time. We’ve had our good times and some not so good over the years and it’s because we were not completely honest with each other. That will never happen again! Better not! Right Marcus!
I THINK ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS
I have no idea how I’m gonna write about this or if I’ll keep it in after I do. I just think it’s time to write about it. I don’t think Marcus has written anything yet.
I’ve talked about being straight married, Marc has talked about playing straight. My new friend Joe I think is straight, at least he’s married with kids too. I’ve done a lot of thinking about this for a long time now, and more in the last couple of years. I’ve just never talked about it yet, not even to Marcus, at least I don’t remember. I have no idea for sure, but I have read about it because it bothers me or should say bothered me. Not so much right now.
I grew up expecting to get married one day, have kids, and all that goes with it. Like sex all the time. Yeah right! I wasn’t attracted to guys, if anything I feared them, and you know why. I feared that no one would love me like I wanted to be so badly. I met Ellen and I liked her a lot; she was so pretty, and she liked me. That was it, I wanted her to be my wife, no more looking, no trying to find anyone else. We were virgins and never even saw each other naked. That was a big mistake! And you know why too. I’m sorry if this is the “Reader’s Digest” of my life, it’s not something I want to write that much about right now.
It’s about the “straight” thing. I read that there’s no such thing as just straight or just gay, it’s like a sliding line between the two ideas. Sometimes you move along the line and there are people who live at different points on the line. That made so much sense to me, it kinda explained so much about how I got attracted to Marcus like in a minute. That never happened to me before. Man, I must have slid all the way to the gay side of the line that first day!
I don’t know if seeing Joe naked before I fell for Marc would be the same as it is now. I really don’t have an answer. I’m not attracted to Joe like Marc; I think it’s more of a curious thing about something I’ve never seen for real before. A big dick would not be what I fell in love with, no more than big boobs would. Marcus was just a fantasy when I needed it, otherwise, our friendship was straight acting for years. I’m not saying I’d turn it down if it was offered though.
It just makes understanding my feelings or attraction easier to deal with. I wish you guys would talk to me about this. Does it make any sense to you? Are there any real straight or gay guys, or are we all placed on a line that can be anyplace in between?
OH, I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS
I’ve been writing about the naked stuff and how I’m handling it now, and it reminded me about an email I got recently. Do any of you guys remember the story of when our wives bought all of us a cruise to Alaska? Then you may remember that we got caught being our real selves by two of our Canadian reader fans of our blog. If not, I’ll remind you. The guys had booked themselves and several of their friends on the same cruise we were going to be on. After they read all the stuff Marcus wrote about the cruise, they challenged themselves to try and find us. Well, they did try and said it was easy to spot us. There goes how good we think we are at covering ourselves. Anyway, for you guys that didn’t read that chapter, they offered us an afternoon to be together in their beautiful suite. (You should read what Marcus wrote about that instead of me messing up the story here.)
So anyway, I get this email from Peter, he and I got along really good on board the ship, he was more my age and we had interests that were the same. He just wanted to write and say hello and that he and his husband Maurice were still fans of our blog and had wondered why there wasn’t anything new for a long time. I told him what I wrote here for you guys, but what he wrote got my imagination going. He said that the all the guys that were on the cruise with them finally believed that Maurice and he actually did meet us for real and that they really did let us use their stateroom suite. But that’s not what I found interesting. The guys get together once we have a new chapter up and they read it out loud and then discuss what we were writing about. Talk about mind-blowing! Wow, we’re that interesting to them that they’d do that! We actually have fans!
Well, there are a lot of firsts in our journal, and we were pretty green learning how to be the couple we are now. I guess you could find stuff to talk about. Anyhow, I’m surprised that Maurice hasn’t written Marcus at all, I almost feared he was going after Marc for himself. Maybe he got embarrassed about what Marc wrote, IDK. He shouldn’t though, we both loved them so much that we talked about them for weeks afterwards. If you remember back then, Marc and I were having a hard time getting private time together. Getting a few hours alone while the wives were at the Spa was perfect for us.
I guess I should try to tie my feelings about nakedness to this story; it’s the reason why I thought to bring it up here. I was the one who let them back into the stateroom while we were both still naked. I think Marcus about freaked when I opened the door to let them in without thinking. We were still high on each other when I did that. No, we were not on drugs or drunk. I really think I had forgotten I was naked at the time. Of course, one look at Marc’s face got me totally naked and shit now what? I know, you act normal like you’re not naked, but I think Marc covered his junk with both hands at first. I just thought screw it, I’m naked so deal with it. The only thing that came over my mind was I hope I don’t have a hard-on. I didn’t.
The men had no problem that we were naked and made no effort to ask us to get dressed. Let’s face it now that I’m really Larry for real, they got to not only meet us as Marcus and Larry, but me as Mark and you know who, as you don’t know who. And they got to see the real us bare ass naked not like the pictures we use for us. Why would they want us to cover up? Hahah. I bet you wish to know all the shit we talked about after that afternoon. I remember laughing our asses off after the shock wore off. If anything, it brought us even closer to the time we’d become a real couple. I remember our wives asking what was so funny that we just look at each other and start laughing again. I wish I remembered what we told them, maybe Marc remembers.
So anyway, Joe is not the only guy to see me naked, he’s the guy I chose to feel it’s okay to be naked in front of, that’s different. You might be thinking naked means having my junk out for inspection, nope not at all. Naked means I’m free to like myself they way I am finally. I’m finding out being furry is something a lot of guys wouldn’t mind being themselves. For me being so different looking was hard to deal with. IDK, maybe it was more of wanting to just get lost in a crowd.
I’m okay now, I really am guys. I’m really free thanks to everyone, you guys, Joe, and Marcus of course, he never stopped telling me to love who I was inside and outside and forget those detractors.
That is gonna take some thinking for me, it’s been so many years now. I don’t think we did until our trip together a couple of years ago. Yeah, but I think we both thought alike, just didn’t have it in us to find out for sure. I know I was always afraid that I’d lose what I did have as buddies, it wasn’t worth loosing that. I tell you one thing about us; Marc is the better actor because he never gave up a clue about what he was thinking for real about me. And then I think about how he got to the position he had at work, probably exactly what it takes besides Pops wanting him there.
We were such good buddies for such a long time, I always loved every time we got together, including with our wives. We just cracked each other up and it mostly pissed-off the wives. I think we did it on purpose. Not too hard to get that our wives wondered about us. After years of being best friends we began thinking alike and could finish each other’s thoughts or punchlines. I bet you guys have had friends like that too, right.
When did it get very real was at the lake a couple of years ago. Once we opened that door, like Marc said, “I slammed it shut behind me.” You know after thinking about that time, I was pretty aggressive with him, I knew finally that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. There was no reason to get stupid about it, I wanted to try every single thing I fantasized about with him over the years, and dammit, I was not going home before I tried. No stopping either one of us too, there was nothing to lose except the time that was moving faster to the going home part.
It can’t be too difficult for you to know, if you’ve read all the chapters, I really wanted this from almost day one. I was just a fucking coward, only because I didn’t want to lose him. If Marcus was a coward, he’ll have to admit it himself, I don’t think he was at all. He just wanted to protect himself and you can see that right now because he still hides who he really is. I gotta be fair, you really know a lot more about him than you think. He’s given you a big picture of himself and me in so many chapters of the blog. I mean even down to the picture I gave him that he uses for himself that could be his brother for crying out loud. I sometimes want to say, “get over it, the guys love you man.” It’s really not important anyway, you get to see what’s in his heart all the time, and that’s more important.
I’m kinda sorry right now for writing so much stuff, I hope it wasn’t fluff. I really don’t want this to end just yet. I’m so freaking happy inside right now. I’m back in our home office, I think my Sweetbabes is finally over the shit he was going through, and I hope it was me that helped him the most. Marcus is back at his desk writing stuff for a college business course he wants to teach. That’s one good reason why it took him so long to finish his latest chapter. I’m looking at him writing on his iPad at his desk right now, he may need to buy a laptop soon; his iPad looks so dinky on that massive desk of his. Hahah.
The only way I can stop writing this is to go over and get all sexy on him. Ya sexy ain’t gonna cover what I want. Now if I could get my dick to act more like his, it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable in my shorts right now. I’m sorry guys, I get really horny sometimes writing about him and me. Yeah, I’m there right now!
I hope I didn’t miss anything I wanted to write about, maybe I’ll have to write another chapter later. Thanks for reading right up to this part, I try hard to be a good writer for you guys. It’s getting easier but I spend so much time correcting my ugly grammar. I’d love to be able to write like Marc, but then you wouldn’t know it’s me talking. Marc says he likes my chapters just the way I write them; he has to say that, it’s not smart pissing off your bedmate, right. Whoever thought not paying attention in my English classes was gonna kick my ass one day. Not me. Okay, I really have to say bye now. Bye!
I love writing to you guys.
M. LarryP.S.
Whoops, one more thing, I’m not gonna post this until Marc’s chapter gets a chance to be read for up to 100 times. I’m so happy he’s back to writing that I’m not gonna step on that for now, maybe later. Okay, now I’m done. I think.
Read Marc’s new Chapter 78nwith this link:
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I am SOOO happy that you are both back at writing again. I expect that as your lives start to be more "normal" in schedule and less stuff about the wives and family that there might be longer chapters with more time in between. One of my favorite parts of being a husband to MY hubby is helping him through something when he gets stuck or can't find his way out emotionally. Its something that binds us in a way that friendships don't touch as often. Then you add the physical and emotional love / pleasure that we have for each other and that's what loving someone means. The one big change in my marriage to my hubby versus my wife all those years is that I don't hold back. We give each other shit and show each other who we really are almost all the time. The occasions we hold back, the other usually knows and then it doesn't last long. We also use humor to maneuver through tough times. Usually very inappropriate humor at that. lol. If you can laugh in and out of the bedroom, that's awesome :). A couple of last thoughts. I think there is a "spectrum" of gayness. I have a few bisexual friends and I didn't used to understand. For them, they have more options and they take advantage of that. A few gravitate sexually more to one and emotionally more to another. Then there's polysexual but don't get me started on that. I love the idea, but in truth, I'm not sharing my husband lol. Last, I LOVE your writing so don't apologize...and P.S. FURRY IS SEXY!!!! Hugs and kisses to you both!
ReplyDeleteHi Billy, it’s great to be reading comments and letters again. I really have grown to love this blogging thing. Another big change in me. Well, mostly I didn’t have much of a clue about this kind of writing before Marcus started it for us.
DeleteI love hearing about you and your husband, it makes what we are going through make more sense. Or maybe more real. I was surprised that I kinda got angry when I started this chapter, angry at myself and him. We haven’t had big problems yet, but it was getting close. Im glad you talked about giving each other shit when needed. Before we just called it ball-bashing and it was just for joking around. I taught him that! I’m still the best between us. Hahah!
Thank you for the part on the gayness thing. I’m still pretty dumb about what’s what and where we fit in. I think we started out bi, maybe? I know what I want now and it doesn’t mean anything but Marc. I’m 54 now and I finally know what great sex is, amazing huh? I wonder how I didn’t know for sure, I mean there was all that beating off after being around Marc for a day or hours. Shoulda told me more than it did.
Thank you for being my friend as well as Marc’s friend, I really love hearing from you. And you make me feel good about myself too. I’m glad you like my writing too, I really try real hard. Then I remember what Marcus said just write what I think about and make it sound like I’m talking to you. I think I do that okay now. I guess you can tell I’m not the polished gentleman Marcus is, but he thinks I’m cool.
Big Bear Hug to you buddy!
M. Larry
AWWWWWW!!!ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how to reply to your comments, I hope I didn’t make you sad. I have lots to learn yet about blogging.
DeleteM. Larry
Hey Babe, I’ve read your chapter a couple of times before I thought about commenting. Not sure where to start, but let’s try your fear of not being a good enough writer. You’re a lot better than good, maybe better than me. I not sure that I’ve shared as much about myself as you fo every time. Whether it’s the old Mark or the new and improved Larry, I get what you are trying to tell us and it’s really from you heart or gut at times. So, stop worrying about that, you are an awesome writer.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your words I hear your voice, your style of communicating with me, there’s no difference. I know you want the guys to like your words and style, and you’re afraid that the guys want a mini-me out of you. That’s not what I read in their comments, the guys love you just the way you are. I’d be disappointed if you wrote any different than you do. Okay? Stop worrying.
I wasn’t upset that you were mad at me or that it came across that way. I deserved a lot more than that for what I was doing. What I read was a guy who has balls, the really big kind and you were going to use them. I couldn’t have been more impressed and delighted to see you stand up for what you believed. I’d hate living with someone afraid to stand up to me to keep the peace. The guys need to know you are an equal to me, it’s the only way I want it to be. We are different in many ways except where it really counts.
You covered so many topics and I don’t want to do a recap here, but there were some interesting things in the chapter. You are right we will talk about Pops, but not here first. And the Joe thing you have going on with him. I’m not jealous, I know you too well now. But it’s fun to read how you are opening up to your own sexuality. It’s fun for me to see Joe naked too. It would be fun for all the guys reading about us as well. Thanks for making him a subject. But I’m sorry he’s afraid of me, I never caught that myself. I’ve known him for years, talk about his kids and lots of stuff. (But never about long dicks and tiny dick holes! You fucking crack me up!) I’ve seen enough dick slips of him in his shorts over the years, but I never think about talking about it to him. You’re a trip buddy! I loved read what you two are up to.
The part I loved the best was you remembering about us long ago. We haven’t talk about those days for years and now you are bringing them up here. That’s a wonderful surprise and a treat for me to hear your side of just about everything. BTW, did I really cover my junk with two hands back on the ship, or did you make that up? I really don’t remember. I think I was mortified back then though that you let them in without us getting some pants on. Reading about that made me laugh out loud. I love when you write about the history we have together.
I guess I missed a lot to write here, but we will over coffee I’m sure.
Love you in spite of this!
M